171+ Best Iyanla Vanzant Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Iyanla Vanzant is an American inspirational speaker, lawyer, New Thought spiritual teacher, author, life coach, and television personality. Profoundly inspirational Iyanla Vanzant quotes will challenge the way you think, and help guide you through any life experience.

Famous Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ‘Help me.’ Sometimes a prayer was ‘Thank you.’ What I’ve discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away. – Iyanla Vanzant

If you are a card-carrying human being, chances are that you share the same fear as all other humans: the fear of losing love, respect and connection to others. And if you are human, in order to avoid or prevent the pain, trauma and perceived devastation of the loss, you will do anything to avoid your greatest fear from being visited on you. – Iyanla Vanzant

If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are! – Iyanla Vanzant

No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation. People come and go; situations rise and fall; it’s all preparation for better things. You must stretch, reach, grow into your goodness. Without the preparation we receive through adversity, disappointment, confusion, or pain, we could not appreciate the goodness when it arrives. – Iyanla Vanzant

Speak and live in simple sentences. Bring closure — put a period to — those experiences that you don’t want to carry on forever and ever. Use commas in those places where you’re still growing… and use exclamation points at the end of every lesson. – Iyanla Vanzant

Acceptance means that you know, regardless of what happened, that there is something bigger than you at work. It also means you know that you are okay and that you will continue to be okay. – Iyanla Vanzant

You’ve got to be willing to lose everything to gain yourself. – Iyanla Vanzant

As you move through the day, be aware of how you treat yourself. Be aware of what you do to and for yourself, because you set the standard for others. As you grow in your awareness of how you treat yourself, you will probably become aware of the example you have set for others. You may realize that the time has come to set a new example. – Iyanla Vanzant

When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become a whole anything. – Iyanla Vanzant

Perhaps you went to bed last night thinking about the overdue bills, the lack of finances, the problematic people and situations you have to face. This morning you woke up. Did you give thanks? If you didn’t, it is probably because you forgot that when praise goes up, the blessings come down. That should be enough to inspire you to be thankful. – Iyanla Vanzant

Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose, we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason. – Iyanla Vanzant

When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go. – Iyanla Vanzant

Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self. – Iyanla Vanzant

Black Girls rock because we have no other choice. – Iyanla Vanzant

Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention. – Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness means accepting what is or what has been and becoming willing to see it differently. You cannot un-hear what you have heard or un-see what you have seen. What you can do is stop believing that what occurred has somehow left you broken, damaged and wounded. While forgiveness ain’t easy, it’s the most important inner work you can do within your mind and heart. – Iyanla Vanzant

When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill, and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be taken away. It grows from your ability to re-create within yourself, the essence of loving experiences you have had in your life. – Iyanla Vanzant

No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons. – Iyanla Vanzant

Right where you are is where you need to be. Don’t fight it! Don’t run away from it! Stand firm! Take a deep breath. And another. And another. Now, ask yourself: Why is this in my world? What do I need to see? – Iyanla Vanzant

If you heart had a voice, Beloved, what would it say? – Iyanla Vanzant

I let go of the past and choose to accept every situation as being for me and not against me. – Iyanla Vanzant

Spirit is the key to everything we desire. It is our weatherproofing, our Teflon, our line of credit that assures if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day; there will be a miraculous payoff. – Iyanla Vanzant

Once you get clear on who you are, what you do, and what you have been CALLED to do, you become powerful. – Iyanla Vanzant

Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed – Iyanla Vanzant

Many people want payback and to see others suffer. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. You can choose to be enslaved and burdened or you can choose to be free. It’s a choice. Forgiveness is a state of being. So, once you do it, it alters who you are and the way you can be in the world. – Iyanla Vanzant

Forgiveness leads to a shift in perception. It transforms the hurt into healing. – Iyanla Vanzant

You do not have to love what is going on in your life, but you must accept that it, whatever it is, is going on. As long as you do not accept reality, you are powerless to define the role you will play. – Iyanla Vanzant

At times I have long conversations with God. Sometimes I ask questions. I admit that there are also times when I let out my frustrations, fears, and anxieties in less than honorable ways. No matter what I pray about or how I pray about it, the result I always get is comfort. – Iyanla Vanzant

Have the courage to speak your mind and tell the truth from a position of love rather than anger or fear, being open to accept the views of others without feeling threatened or defeated, relinquishing the ego’s need to be in control by demonstrating the willingness to do whatever it takes to establish peace. – Iyanla Vanzant

Without the a test you don’t have a testimony. – Iyanla Vanzant

When you can tell the story and it doesn’t bring up any pain, you know it is healed. – Iyanla Vanzant

Many of us have a need to be right. We then set out to make ourselves right by making someone else wrong. We must get right with ourselves. Once we do, we will have so much to do, we will not have time to keep track of who is wrong. – Iyanla Vanzant

We all want to be liked, loved, or needed. That is fine. What is not fine is what we are willing to do to make sure we are liked or loved or needed. When we make the needs and wants of others a priority in our lives, we devalue ourselves. – Iyanla Vanzant

You are the love you seek. You are the companionship you desire. You are your own completion, your own wholeness. You are your best friend, your confidant. ‘You are,’ as poetess Audre Lourde wrote, ‘the one that you are looking for.’ You are the only one who can do what you are looking for someone else to do. – Iyanla Vanzant

If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make. – Iyanla Vanzant

Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren’t. – Iyanla Vanzant

When we have peace in our hearts and minds, we draw peace into our lives. – Iyanla Vanzant

Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache. – Iyanla Vanzant

There comes a point in time when you must know that everything you have already given or done is enough. This is not something anyone else can tell you. You must know. Giving without receiving doesn’t prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of. – Iyanla Vanzant

Everything that’s happening in our world is a function of what is going on inside of people. We are violent in our minds. We are violent with one another. We walk past one another in the street and don’t even look nor make eye contact – don’t speak. We can be outraged about the missiles and the planes. I’m more outraged that somebody will walk past me in the street and not look me in the face and say good morning. – Iyanla Vanzant

One thing that prevents a man from being a good father is he hasn’t completed being a boy. – Iyanla Vanzant

Love people enough to tell them the truth and respect them enough to trust that they can handle it. – Iyanla Vanzant

Have you doubted your progress, regretted your choices, put yourself down? Remember that you are doing just fine. Remind yourself right now that no matter what it looks like, you are doing the best you can. And getting better. Encourage yourself, support yourself, and celebrate every little thing about yourself. – Iyanla Vanzant

Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not needing to do something. – Iyanla Vanzant

When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let it go. – Iyanla Vanzant

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth. – Iyanla Vanzant

You can’t do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter how difficult we think the problem is, we must muster up the courage to face it. – Iyanla Vanzant

What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain. They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move for them. – Iyanla Vanzant

I am now willing to forgive myself . . . for believing I could offer something to others before I have offered it to myself. – Iyanla Vanzant

Always remember who you are. Know that you are never required to apologize to anyone for being yourself. – Iyanla Vanzant

Each of us face a moment in our lives called ‘the breakdown moment.’ This is the time when you must stand toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball, with the very thing you have tried desperately to avoid. In that moment, when there is nothing standing between you and the thing you fear the most, you will be forced to step into your greatness, because that is what life is demanding of you. – Iyanla Vanzant

Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth and happiness. – Iyanla Vanzant

You must be willing to examine and explore your dark side. You must acknowledge how bad you can be and how horribly unloving you can behave. When you know how deep and dark your dark side is, it helps you stand a little taller in the light. – Iyanla Vanzant

Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through. – Iyanla Vanzant

You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there. – Iyanla Vanzant

Don’t get hung up on the hard times, the challenges. Tell your story by highlighting the victories. Because it’s your victories that will inspire, motivate, encourage other people to live their stories in grander ways. – Iyanla Vanzant

Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings, you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them. – Iyanla Vanzant

Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change – Iyanla Vanzant

If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold on to this? – Iyanla Vanzant

Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities. – Iyanla Vanzant

When you don’t show up as who you are, people fall in love with who you’re not. Then when they find out who you are, that’s when they leave. – Iyanla Vanzant

It’s important that we share our experiences with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story – Iyanla Vanzant

It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control. – Iyanla Vanzant

You cannot make your life move faster than it’s moving. No matter how urgent your situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with life. Patience always pays off. – Iyanla Vanzant

When the time comes for you to make a change or to grow, the universe will make you so uncomfortable you will eventually have no choice. – Iyanla Vanzant

People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are! – Iyanla Vanzant

Stop hiding! Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying. Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about you. Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special. Life is special! It is a special gift. This is your life! Now take your gift and live it out in the open! Decide today that you are going to live out loud! – Iyanla Vanzant

No matter how painful your past has been, you have made it through. – Iyanla Vanzant

We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves. – Iyanla Vanzant

When was the last time you thanked you for always being there for you? Self appreciation soothes an aching soul. – Iyanla Vanzant

Life doesn’t actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for yourself. – Iyanla Vanzant

Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing. – Iyanla Vanzant

Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for. – Iyanla Vanzant

Listen for the instruction, instead of begging for the direction. – Iyanla Vanzant

No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don’t worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lived it and I’m still here to talk about it and help someone else if I can. – Iyanla Vanzant

I hope that my story, I hope that my life is… an encouragement for people, especially in Brooklyn. I feel humbled and blessed. – Iyanla Vanzant

All things are lessons that God would have us learn. – Iyanla Vanzant

People say I’ve had a difficult time in life. I think I’ve had an exciting time in life. – Iyanla Vanzant

What will support any relationship is clear, complete and conscious conversations when upsets or breakdowns occur. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’m moving into that eldership age, you know? I’m at the ‘wise woman’ age where it’s not about learning but utilizing the information that I have in a way that serves other people. That’s a high calling and it’s a great responsibility. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’ve always wanted people to know who they are from the inside. Then they can create the life they desire and deserve. I’ve always believed that my job was to facilitate the evolution of the human consciousness. – Iyanla Vanzant

Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven’t said to that someone. – Iyanla Vanzant

When you gossip, it’s self-hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you. Everything starts with the word. The word is demonstrating a condition of the mind. If it’s in your mind and comes out of your mouth, it will be created. – Iyanla Vanzant

I have learned the hard way to mind my business, without judging who people are and what they do. I am more troubled by the lack of space being provided for the truth to unfold. Humans cannot seem to wait for or honor the truth. Instead, we make it up based on who we believe people should or should not be. – Iyanla Vanzant

One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs – blame and projection. – Iyanla Vanzant

In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being in order to heal, learn and grow. – Iyanla Vanzant

What a blessing that God allows a life to come through your body, and then allows you to place that body in a body bag and take it out. I had to say that there’s a magnificent something that God has for me to do, to give me that level of completion. That level of experience. It’s unspeakable. – Iyanla Vanzant

The thing I always tell my audiences all the time is that I’m just two steps ahead of you on a good day. And I might be two steps behind you on a bad day. – Iyanla Vanzant

I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay. – Iyanla Vanzant

All of us have ways in which we mask and cover our pain. – Iyanla Vanzant

Everybody’s got a ‘thing.’ Some ‘things’ are nice and quiet. Some ‘things’ have fangs and claws. Some ‘things’ stink and have slobber everywhere. – Iyanla Vanzant

We really don’t know how to love each other because we haven’t really learned to love ourselves. In many instances, not all, it’s not malicious. We’ve just been conditioned to such bad behavior. – Iyanla Vanzant

I wasn’t ready for fame and all that brings to your life. It was an amazing experience, but so overwhelming, because no one can tell you beforehand when it will happen or how it will impact you. So no one can tell you how to handle it, being stopped everywhere you go because people saw you on ‘Oprah.’ It took me over, and I wasn’t ready. – Iyanla Vanzant

Why can’t women get along? Because we’re afraid. We’re afraid to be vulnerable. We’re afraid to be soft. We’re afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we’re afraid of our power. So, we become controlling and aggressive and vicious. – Iyanla Vanzant

I had to stop traveling alone because I missed so many planes. When somebody runs up to you in the airport and begins to tell you their life story, you can’t say, ‘Excuse me, boo,’ as they’re weeping on your bosom. – Iyanla Vanzant

Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children. And bite your tongue when it comes to diminishing, denying, dismissing, name-calling. – Iyanla Vanzant

You know that you’ve healed an issue when you can talk about it and you’re not weeping, when you can speak to it and identify the lesson. You know that you’ve healed an issue when, having gone through that, has a benefit that you live today. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’m focusing on healing lives and teaching people that they can heal – giving them tools to heal. – Iyanla Vanzant

You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid ‘no’ muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it’s our choice. Your ‘no’ muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, ‘I don’t care if that’s what you want. I don’t want that. No.’ – Iyanla Vanzant

The remedy for life’s broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don’t try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive. – Iyanla Vanzant

A stable and nurturing childhood is essential for the healthy psycho-emotional and spiritual development of a human being. While we may understand what is supposed to happen to us physically, we must begin to better understand what happens to children mentally, emotionally and spiritually as a result of the families into which they are born. – Iyanla Vanzant

Pain is pain, hurt is hurt, fear is fear, anger is anger, and it has no color. – Iyanla Vanzant

I don’t think there’s such a thing as a selfish prayer. Prayer puts you in communication so you can talk about whatever you want to talk about. – Iyanla Vanzant

If you’re not willing to let your partner see your cellulite or know your biggest fears, then you aren’t really ready to share yourself. – Iyanla Vanzant

I knew all of the childhood prayers I uttered on my knees at the side of my bed. Many years of Sunday-school attendance had etched certain Psalms and rote prayers into the fibers of my brain. However, somewhere deep inside of me, I had the secret belief that I did not know how to pray, and that frightened me. – Iyanla Vanzant

It’s about your heart and about your consciousness. It’s not about length of time you pray. Some of the most powerful prayers I’ve ever heard come from children, who can barely speak. – Iyanla Vanzant

Some of us pray demands. Some of us pray complaints. Some of us pray knowing, and some of us pray not knowing. But prayer is the attitude that you hold in your heart. – Iyanla Vanzant

I think as men begin to see things that address them, they will feel that they can relate. They can’t relate to ‘Basketball Wives,’ ‘Housewives of Atlanta.’ I am not judging or criticizing those shows at all; what I am saying is the perspective is not necessarily the male perspective. ‘Iyanla: Fix My Life’ is inclusive of everyone. – Iyanla Vanzant

Be willing to share all of who you are. So many of us want a partner, but we’re not willing to show all of us. That’s why we have a weave, we’re wearing Spanx, and everything is ‘fine.’ If you’re not willing to let your partner see your cellulite or know your biggest fears, then you aren’t really ready to share yourself… – Iyanla Vanzant

Everyone has something that blocks us from the full experience and expression of our nobility. – Iyanla Vanzant

Oprah Winfrey gives you the stage? Shut your mouth. I said, ‘I’m sorry for taking over your show.’ She said, ‘No, that’s why we have you here.’ – Iyanla Vanzant

Order is the first law of heaven, and you have to have order to survive on Earth. Figure out what has to be done each day, each week, each year and develop a system to achieve it. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’m the person that I always was, but in terms of how I approach my living, I’m not the same person at all. At all. I’ve buried a child, I’ve ended a marriage, and the grandson that I was raising is now grown. My family has totally shifted. – Iyanla Vanzant

For most of my life, I believed that my father had broken many of my bones. They were emotional and psychological bones; things no one could see, things that caused me to limp through life clutching for and holding on to people and situations that often rendered me immobile. – Iyanla Vanzant

Comparison is an act of violence against the self. – Iyanla Vanzant

There is a lot of healing going on. Really! More people are vegetarians, more are in the green movement, more of us are tearing down the old paradigms and embracing same-sex marriage, single motherhood, men raising babies. – Iyanla Vanzant

Sometimes we pray in our heads and we never get a real opportunity to solidify what it is that we’re praying for or what we’re praying about. So, once you write it down, it’s like a flow. It comes out and you solidify the thought or the idea or the request. – Iyanla Vanzant

You know, if you’re a human and living on the planet, it doesn’t matter what you do; you are not immune to the challenges, the trials, the difficulty. And that fact that I happen to be a coach and a minister, and a spiritual teacher doesn’t mean anything. I’m still human. – Iyanla Vanzant

The show is ‘Fix My Life!’ Get it? Life. I do not fix people. – Iyanla Vanzant

I think most people think that a spiritual path or growing spiritually means that all of a sudden, you’ll be able to forecast the six lotto numbers and all your bills will be paid. – Iyanla Vanzant

You’ve got to know what your ‘thing’ is, and you’ve got to call it a ‘thing,’ whether it’s meanness, nastiness, un-forgiveness, arrogance, ego, resistance, rebelliousness or defiance. Everybody’s got a ‘thing,’ and once you call your ‘thing’ a ‘thing,’ we can give it a place to be or dismiss it. – Iyanla Vanzant

In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps ‘lie’ is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth. – Iyanla Vanzant

My purpose is to teach and demonstrate what is possible. To demonstrate love of God and good. Remember what my role is as a woman: to be… good. My role as a mother: to teach, support and nurture my offspring. My role as a grandmother: to remind everybody – right where you are, God is. – Iyanla Vanzant

Whether at work, at home or in public, we have been trained to believe that who we are at the core of our being is often unacceptable. As a result, we work diligently to live up to – and sometimes down to – what others have made us out to be, whether or not it is an accurate reflection of who we are. – Iyanla Vanzant

At birth, we are like cartilage – soft, flexible tissue. By the same natural process by which cartilage becomes hard bone, the soft, tender heart of an innocent child can become hardened by the circumstances into which she is born. – Iyanla Vanzant

I took my kids everywhere. I didn’t have money for child care, so I took them to college with me and they sat in the hallway. – Iyanla Vanzant

I grew up in the Holiness Church, where prayer was an event. – Iyanla Vanzant

You know when I was 20 and 30, they were insecurities. Now they’re just a new normal. I’m 60 years old, so my expectations of who I am and how I look and how I show up in the world had to shift. Not because I couldn’t help it, or not because I did anything wrong, but because I had to get into the natural flow of my being as a woman. – Iyanla Vanzant

Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it’s coming to tell you something about you that you’re acting like you don’t know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God. – Iyanla Vanzant

I really don’t have any weaknesses. I do have areas of my life that I am working on to grow, heal and evolve. Giving myself permission to rest is an area I am working on. Not rescuing my children and grandchildren is another area. – Iyanla Vanzant

It is an honor and a privilege to be of service and support; however, I realize people are not putting their confidence in me. Instead, they are actually learning to trust themselves. My job is to affirm and support them in the process and teach them to do what I do when I need strength: I begin within. – Iyanla Vanzant

Any time there is ‘un-forgiveness’ between people who love each other, there is suffering. Any time people face challenges that they really don’t understand… there is suffering. – Iyanla Vanzant

I came from nothing. I came from the projects and welfare and ended up a millionaire with no frame of reference. I was bound to hit a wall sooner or later. – Iyanla Vanzant

I have a daily message, ‘Stimumail,’ which I use to stimulate the mind and heart. I have the opportunity to touch over 60,000 people I have never met. I also use Twitter and Facebook. – Iyanla Vanzant

I realized it was happening, but most people didn’t realize it was happening. I mean, because as a self-employed person, when there is a recession or a cutback in the economy, we feel it first. Because many self-employed people provide services that are nonessential. – Iyanla Vanzant

What I am doing; how I am being as I am doing it; and does it bring honor to my community? What is the lesson in what I am doing? And most importantly, am I having fun? – Iyanla Vanzant

Well the beauty of ‘Iyanla: Fix My Life’ is that men are in every show. To our surprise, some of the deepest healing demonstrations have been with the men – the sons, the fathers, the husbands – because they agree to participate with the wife or the daughter or whatever it is we are looking at, and it is there. – Iyanla Vanzant

I was sitting on the bus, and the sign said if you’re ready to better your life, come to Medgar Evers College, and I got off the bus and went to Medgar Evers College. – Iyanla Vanzant

I try not to set myself up as different or as a celebrity or special. I have a husband that can get on my nerves. I have kids that test my patience. I’ve got a cat I can’t keep off the sofa. It’s real. On a bad day, I’m reading ‘Acts of Faith.’. – Iyanla Vanzant

I had no preconceived idea what fame would be like, because I never thought I would be famous. I just wanted to do my work. Hell, I just wanted to pay my rent on time. – Iyanla Vanzant

If you don’t like your sister or don’t get along with your father, let’s find out if you like yourself. Let’s not sugarcoat anything about it. – Iyanla Vanzant

In 2002, my daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer. And it was such a shock, a surprise to us. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’ve always told the truth. I think that’s been part of the foundation of my career. I don’t put myself above people. I don’t put myself different than people. And I, for one, know that none of us is immune. – Iyanla Vanzant

My father never kissed me, hugged me or told me that he loved me. As my only living parent, he became the filter through which I saw myself, the possibilities for my life, the world and all men. He was a conflicted and dark filter. – Iyanla Vanzant

When Oprah Winfrey tells you that you need to have your own show, you feel compelled to do it. Especially if she’s gonna pay for it! – Iyanla Vanzant

To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don’t know yet and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot may be unfolding. – Iyanla Vanzant

People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you. – Iyanla Vanzant

After being on ‘Oprah’ for a couple of months, I got my first royalty check for $1,478,392.17. I will never forget it. At the height of my career, I made $3.3 million. Unbelievable. From welfare in the projects to $3.3 million. – Iyanla Vanzant

a very powerful, although delicate, chemistry between the way Dr. Katz, Miss Britten and I work. I’m committed to this process. I’m committed to ‘Starting Over.’ – Iyanla Vanzant

I’m old. I don’t want to work this hard. – Iyanla Vanzant

My vision is to elevate the consciousness of humanity one mind, one heart, one life, one spirit at a time. They are married. – Iyanla Vanzant

Tell the truth about who you are, what you feel, what you want, what you’re up to. Tell the truth about that first to yourself and then to anybody else that’ll listen. – Iyanla Vanzant

Many self-employed people provide services that are nonessential. So whether you get your hair done less or your hair cut less, or your nails done less, as a writer and a speaker I was very clear that corporations weren’t being as open and as generous and I wasn’t getting the kind of work that I usually got. – Iyanla Vanzant

For some reason, we keep forgetting some of our experience. We look back but don’t bring the value forward. We bring the anger, the upset. We bring the fear. – Iyanla Vanzant

You can’t look outside of yourself. You must look within yourself, and address all of the things that are going on within you and clear out the things that are not useful. Whether it’s fear or anger or shame or guilt or whatever it is – clean that stuff up. – Iyanla Vanzant

Stuff your feelings because feelings buried alive don’t die. And that fear or that upset or that anger or that whatever it is, it’ll turn into something inside of you. So you want to get it out. – Iyanla Vanzant

We are missing the truth. We live in a society that lies and fosters and sells dishonesty at a discount. Remember the line, ‘America spells cheese K-R-A-F-T? That does not spell cheese! We tell our kids that as long as it looks good on the outside, don’t worry about the inside. Or work hard and you’ll be rewarded in the end. That’s not necessarily true anymore. We don’t tell the truth about certain things. Young people see our hypocrisy. We haven’t given them a model to follow. – Iyanla Vanzant

We live in a society where we’re not taught how to deal with our weaknesses and frailties as human beings. We’re not taught how to speak to our difficulties and challenges. We’re taught the Pythagorean theorem and chemistry and biology and history. We’re not taught anger management. We’re not taught dissolution of fear and how to process shame and guilt. I’ve never in my life ever used the Pythagorean theorem! – Iyanla Vanzant

I see a couple of things missing. Any society, any community, even in the family, when the elders don’t do their jobs, the youth suffer. We have no done our job. I’m saying anybody 55 and up. We didn’t teach people the basic things. – Iyanla Vanzant

Any time in America when the military has to stand in opposition of their own citizenry, something is wrong. – Iyanla Vanzant

I deal with my guests the same. I just love them. I deal with the issue as it is. There’s no issue that can’t be overcome. I don’t tolerate disrespect of themselves or of me. And dishonesty. Those are two things that upset me. Don’t tell me you said something or did something and you didn’t. I’m very clear. I warn them early. There always comes a moment when you don’t like me! – Iyanla Vanzant

I don’t think anybody can be held accountable or responsible for anyone’s behaviors expect the individual. This goes beyond that particular situation. – Iyanla Vanzant

The ego does not want to be wrong, ever. – Iyanla Vanzant

We know how to be doctors, nurses, lawyers. We know how to be tweeters. We know how to be everything. But how do you just be people? How do you be present with one another? How do you be honest with one another? How do you be compassionate towards one another, forgiving towards one another? We know what to do. We don’t know what to be, how to be. – Iyanla Vanzant

I surround people in unconditional acceptance and love to such a degree that everything that is unloving about them rises to the surface. – Iyanla Vanzant

I’m really not that fierce. – Iyanla Vanzant

Finally and most important of all, authenticity means that you must do what you do the way you do it and allow everyone else the same courtesy. There was a time I wanted to be like every famous writer that ever lived. I tried to copy styles, reframe information, use similar artwork. I almost drove myself crazy! Now I just do what I do. I have mentors. There are people whose work I admire, but I write the way I write. I eat the way I eat. I dress the way I dress. I can’t believe that God made us each so unique only to have us do everything the same way. – Iyanla Vanzant

At your worst point, the quickest way to move through it is to be a contribution as opposed to focusing on your problems. If you focus on your problems and keep giving them attention, they’re going to grow. If you ignore them and do something else – I don’t mean act like they’re not here – but do something meaningful, it helps you work through it. – Iyanla Vanzant

Authenticity means that you must do what you do the way you do it and allow everyone else the same courtesy. – Iyanla Vanzant

In all relationships, regardless of their nature, there comes that moment when you understand that there are some things you will never understand. When you are standing in that moment, just be right with it. – Iyanla Vanzant

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