When you know, you know. When you’ve put everything into your relationship and somehow suddenly it all goes spiraling out of control, you need to know that it is not down to you. When you have adapted and changed and taken on things which interest your partner to help them feel comfortable and purposeful, you should know you’ve done everything you can.
You are only one person and you can not be the world to someone else, they have to take responsibility for themselves as a grown up person. You try and make things better for them but they flinch when faced with difficulties.
When you feel worried about expressing any emotions which are negative, you know that you you are not in the wrong. People feel sad, upset, frustrated and down sometimes, it’s normal to feel these emotions sometimes. You shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for feeling these emotions and you shouldn’t feel afraid to express them, especially to your loved one. I’m actually a pretty upbeat and sunny person in general but right now my overriding emotion is disappointment.
Sometimes people have ridiculous expectations of how a relationship should be. It’s not always hearts and flowers and happy bunnies. Sometimes the bunny is worried or anxious and could do with some reassurance and comfort. Not to be made to feel like they are a burden.
When you acknowledge your flaws and weaknesses but your partner picks up on them and uses them against you, knowingly or unknowingly, you start you realise that this person is not a force for positivity and self acceptance in your life.
Sometimes someone is a good influence for another person whereas they are more of a negative influence. But it’s hard to let go of the negative influence because they made you feel warm and special and sparks fly between you still. There is an undeniable electricity between you which has existed since the beginning and you ache to feel it again and again.
When you know it’s time to let go, you know. They need to go away and have experiences and find out how their behaviour impacts others. They need to learn how to treat the ones they love like they love and care for them not with spite and anger or complacence or ungratefulness. Let them go and maybe when they come back to you in the future they will be a person with the qualities that you tried to bestow upon them.
Time to let go, for now.
Dear ArtsyExploret,
I stumble today on your post and I like your last words.
Lately my boyfriend and i have been fighting he is very grumpy and last fight at tuesday he text me lets brake up I can’t take it anymore.
My heart break because I know that his stress and grumpiness comes from somewhere els and now led to him saying he wants to break up. I do not saying that I should probably be more sensitive toward to his feelings.
Tomorrow Sunday he will come to my place to give me my suff and take some of his.
We are 7 months together and I do not wish him go but at same time I wish respect his feelings.
I do not know how to behave. What to do because I really think this is stupid fight.
I send him in Friday message that I miss him and he replayed that he miss me too.
If I ask friend they just say break up because its easier to do.
That sounds like a tough situation, it’s not easy to let someone go when you still crave their time and company but yes your right, you do need to respect his feelings. Your split may only be for a while to allow him to figure somethings out and find out what he truly wants. But what I’m focusing on doing is working towards a life I’m proud of and happy with, getting qualifications for the career I want, seeing friends, trips and holidays and eventually being completely independent again and living in my own place away from family. Live for yourself and your comfort and happiness and don’t rely on another person to bring you those things. All the best x
This is very real for so, so many. Accepting what you know about a situation and knowing when it is time to let go is conflicting in so many ways. You make great points and highlight that self-happiness is vital for an overall healthy life. Thank you for sharing xx
alanna
Thank you so much for your comment, I’m so glad you see how real it is, it is the best reflection of what I’m going through right now and I’m glad if it can make people feel less alone
Andie x
Reflection, I feel, is one of the best kinds of therapy 🙂
Best wishes to you xx
alanna
Lovely post. Anxiety and other health issues followed with a sinking relationship. And the worse that all the years spent together, I will have to wash my hands off them and let it all go. Kept trying… Its time to let go. Amazing post, so many of us can relate to it. Thank you!
So hard to let go of someone you still love but it’s for the best for now. Thank you Hazel, I’m so glad you can relate, means a lot to me.