Lewis McDonald Grizzard Jr. was an American writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. He recalled the mythic South with folksy humor and nostalgia.
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Most Famous Lewis Grizzard Quotes
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato Lewis Grizzard
A lot of people won’t listen to old men. A lot of people are stupid Lewis Grizzard
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago Lewis Grizzard
It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month Lewis Grizzard
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi Lewis Grizzard
When I was a kid, the county in which I lived was dry. That is, you had to buy your booze from a bootlegger in order to keep the church people happy Lewis Grizzard
I learned the first rule about barbeque you don’t put coleslaw in it I think that’s in Deuteronomy somewhere Lewis Grizzard
Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again? Lewis Grizzard
Cookie pieces contain no calories The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage Lewis Grizzard
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house Lewis Grizzard
I am not about to say that what I put in my body has nothing whatsoever to do with my health, but I suddenly am surrounded by a world of health experts, and it gets tiresome Lewis Grizzard
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel good for myself Lewis Grizzard
Chili dawgs always bark at night Lewis Grizzard Chilli Dawgs Always Bark At Night
Mama had an appreciation of the language She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work Lewis Grizzard
I am convinced ginger ale can heal the sick and raise the dead Lewis Grizzard
Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different Lewis Grizzard
Life is like a dogsled team If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes Lewis Grizzard
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat Lewis Grizzard
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house I never slept alone until after I was married Lewis Grizzard
God bless Merle Haggard He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done Lewis Grizzard
Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a great deal. People are more sensitive today Lewis Grizzard
You call a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you Dogs just want to please Call a cat and its attitude is, What’s in it for me? Lewis Grizzard
I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now Lewis Grizzard
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago Lewis Grizzard
I know lots of people that are educated far beyond their intelligence Lewis Grizzard
I came from a big family As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married Lewis Grizzard
Springtime is the land awakening The March winds are the morning yawn Lewis Grizzard
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi Lewis Grizzard
Real estate agents are God’s plague on mankind when locusts are out of season Lewis Grizzard
