Loving Oneself

We’ve been taught many things by our parents, teachers and role models throughout our lives. How to talk or how to eat with a spoon, how to carry the 1 or grow mould for science, and we’ve even been shown (well most of us I would hope) the right and wrong way to treat another living being.

Our minds can hold all this information plus so much more, but there is one thing many of us have never been taught or had the chance to grasp, and that is self love.

Growing up I had no faith in myself. No faith that I could kick the ball properly in PE or no faith that I would be able to finish the speech in front of the class. This lack of confidence often was rewarded with a bad outcome. As I got older I just spent my time worrying about those things I had no control over rather than installing the confidence in myself to overcome these worries.

Part of my anxiety stemmed from this lack of love for myself. To others and then to myself, I wasn’t smart enough, I looked funny (I was/am extremely hairy and had funny teeth), I spoke funny (I had a lisp), I acted like a boy… the list could go on with all the doubts I had in myself.

If I had loved myself would these things concern me? Would I care what others thought if I accepted myself for my flaws and all? I don’t believe I would be such an anxious person if someone had shown me it was ok, it wasn’t conceded and it was important to have faith, have confidence and have love for yourself.

So on that note, if you choose to install a little bit of kindness into the world today, turn it towards yourself. Give yourself a compliment for finishing that task at work, for having perfect eyebrows today, for getting the kids to school on time. Know that you need to nurture your soul in order to shine.

If you lack this self love, I can’t tell you exactly how to get it because I am working on it myself… but I would start today by reminding yourself you’re here and you’re strong for being here.

I’m writing this quickly from the comfort of my dressing gown because I had a little bit of an epiphany. Maybe this might spark some self love because I know how sometimes you need it desperately.

 

Have a beautiful day, love Teigan.

 

 

19 thoughts on “Loving Oneself”

  1. I have learned that I have to love myself. I don’t always, but I like to be able to look in the mirror and say “Yes. I am gorgeous.”

    Something that I read when I need a reminder is a note actor Wentworth Miller wrote and posted entitled “A Good Talking To”. I made a box of affirmations for myself, and I had my students do it as well.

  2. The greatest thing we as human beings can do is love ourselves first. Not in a selfish, heartless way but in a respectful one. Then we are armed with everything we could ever need to change this world for the better. Great post!

  3. Affirmations work subconsciously. In my twenties, I had a small pin clipped to my car visor. It had a pic of a crazy looking person pulling their hair, it read, “I can’t cope.” As I drove, everyday, that was the message I was telling myself. About a year later, a good friend took it and handed me a new pin that read, “Accentuate the Positive.” The wording was over a picture of a rainbow. That was my introduction to subliminal messages that affect our moods.

  4. Totally understand where you’re coming from because I’m there now as well. I grew up the same way – parents not showing me how to love myself, hairy face due to PCOS and my tomboyish ways. What I’ve done and what I’m continuing to do is work on myself by paying myself compliments, working on the areas that I’ve not yet begun to accept and by realizing that I’m more than just my looks. I hope you find what works for you and begin to reap some amazing results.

  5. Its in the saying that before we love others, we must love first ourselves. In the three words I love you , it start with I so we must first love ourselves. But how can we love ourselves it is in the way of accepting our flaws. Because every human being is unque in their own way. ?

  6. The same sex parent has the most profound impact on our outlook. Mine is and was depressed, angry and regretting every choice she made in life. Well I took after her. I can’t help the genetic predisposition of depression she gave me but I can fix the rest. I meditate and work my butt off to change my current position in life. I’m still working on self love and self forgiveness for my mistakes. That’s the hardest part.

    • Wow, I couldn’t agree more. My mum was (is) a nervous wreck… I now have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and have been a nervous child all my life.

      You’re inspiring. And those genetics don’t define you (especially when it comes to a mental illness). Keep on doing what you’re doing, you’ve made more than a leap in the right direction just by acknowledging it.

      Self forgiveness is something I struggle with as well. It will happen, we have to learn to be kind to our minds.

  7. Amen!! I struggled with the same thing. I had to be perfect to garner my parent’s attention. So I strive to be perfect. Which of course is an impossibility. This impacted my marriage choices as well and they both turned out badly! Jesus says we are to love others as we love ourselves. I am learning new ways to do that. Since my MS diagnosis, I have had to look inward. It is a process, but I think I’m on track!

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