Mind Over Matter

I wonder how some people do it. I just look at those everyday super heroes who are always on the move. There’s always too much to do and too little time to do it.

My life has changed completely in the few short weeks since I turned 24. I feel like I have evolved into a full grown adult, with my eyes on my future. I no longer look at the world with such disdain. Well, in some ways I still do.

I’ve found life is all about the silver lining. Finding it is the hard part.

Life moves incredibly fast. One minute you’re graduating high school and the next you’re working a dead-end job with no hopes for what’s next.

It’s easy to point the finger. Some vague justification as to why your life ended up the way it did, and more importantly, how you are not to blame. It took me 23 years to learn that only I am in control of my life. I definitely didn’t have the leg up some people do, but there are plenty of people who have had it worse than I did that are now thriving.

The fact that I didn’t have the same opportunities as someone else cannot be an excuse as to why my life turned out the way it did. It took me a long time to realize that not only did I have this weird justification for almost every aspect of my life that I didn’t necessarily like, but I also had this sense of entitlement. I deserve health care, I deserve to go to college, I deserve this and that. The list goes on. But what did I do to “deserve” these things? Virtually nothing.

Honestly, and I know I might catch a little heat from this but, I believe that that sense of entitlement is what is wrong with the world. Nothing comes easy and life is a balancing act.

You are your own worst enemy. You are what’s holding you back. I never thought I would amount to anything, and I shied away from thinking about my future as it only brought me fear and anxiety. Once I finally gathered enough courage to really look and analyze my life, I found the answers I needed.

I started my blog and dedicated my free time to making a future for myself. I’ve come to realize a little hard work goes a long way. Finding a way out of your seemingly desperate situation is much easier than you’d expect. As of now, I am getting paid to write, which is my passion. And it’s bringing in some decent side income. If I keep at it, I expect to be able to leave my current awful job by the end of this year.

Has it been easy? No. It’s been hard as hell. Trying to break into a market you knew virtually nothing about is a daunting task. My days off which used to be my days to relax, recuperate, and prepare myself for the next horrible day of work now consist of me waking up, going to the gym (more on that later), doing my personal tasks I need done, then sitting on my computer and hammering away at the keyboard. This isn’t just my days off, this is also my before and after work routine. It’s tiresome but worth it. I get through my days by reminding myself what I am working towards and every week my income from writing grows.

I will never forget the feeling of seeing my article published for the first time. It was exhilarating. I was on top of the world. It felt great to know my hard work was worth something. Just like the high an addict feels his first hit, that’s how I felt, utterly amazing.

I even started working out. While I know that doesn’t sound like a milestone of any kind, it totally is for me. I was and still am the lazy lay in bed and eat whatever I want kind of person, even though it only worsened my self-esteem. I would go through phases of “getting into shape” that consisted of working out for a week and crazy diets that would stick for two weeks at the most. I think, when it comes to working out, you need to focus on the now rather than the end game. Unlike getting out of a trying financial situation, getting healthy is not a quick fix. Not being able to see results immediately is disheartening. To combat that, I focus on the immediate effects. I feel better after working out, physically and emotionally. Not to mention my gym membership comes along with free tanning, which is an added bonus to working out. Plus I have a reward system. If I get up and exercise I reward myself with an ice cold caramel macchiato from Dunkin Donuts. That by itself makes it totally worth it. Also, I try not to beat myself up if I can’t make it to the gym one day, whereas I used to use missing a day as an out of the “getting into shape” thing. I’ve accepted working out as a lifestyle, not nearly as a mean to an end. So far, I am really digging it.

It can be overwhelming, to say the least. To be literally working constantly, whether it be at work or at home, is enough to drive even the soundest mind crazy. Sometimes it seems like there are not enough hours in a day. When I look at my boss, who is constantly up and moving and doing things (that are too often unnecessary), and then hear her talk about all the things she has to do at home. It’s almost admirable. Almost, she’s like kind of person who does things because she can’t sit still. I, however, love sitting around and doing nothing, it is my favorite past time. Sometimes I want to ask her how she manages to get all of those things done in the course of a day. I am always exhausted, and even getting out of bed seems like a task too vast to accomplish, and yet, every day, I do it.

You can do almost anything you put your mind to. You just have to want it bad enough. You shouldn’t shy away from the seemingly impossible but look at it as a challenge to overcome. Life is a game of mind over matter. Don’t forget that and keep pushing forward.

Feel free to check out my blog for more posts like this!


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