Mary Tyler “Molly” Ivins was an American newspaper columnist, author, and humorist. She was one of America’s most caustic and beloved political commentators. Profound Molly Ivins quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.
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Most Famous Molly Ivins Quotes
Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. Molly Ivins
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag. Molly Ivins
Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory. Molly Ivins
When politicians start talking about large groups of their fellow Americans as ‘enemies,’ it’s time for a quiet stir of alertness. Polarizing people is a good way to win an election, and also a good way to wreck a country. Molly Ivins
Havin’ fun while freedom fightin’ must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water which is known to have lithium in it because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. Molly Ivins
Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases. Molly Ivins
I think of Texas as the laboratory for bad government. Molly Ivins
We’ve had trickle down economics in the country for ten years now, and most of us aren’t even damp yet. Molly Ivins
Listen to the people who are talking about how to fix what’s wrong, not the ones who just work people into a snit over the problems. Listen to the people who have ideas about how to fix things, not the ones who just blame others. Molly Ivins
The thing about democracy, beloved, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion. Molly Ivins
What we have here, fellow citizens, is a crassly egocentric, raving twit. Molly Ivins
Cheer up, it could always be worse. You could be living in Texas. Molly Ivins
So keep fighting’ for freedom and justice, beloved, but don’t you forget to have fun doing’ it. Lord, let your laughter ring fourth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. Molly Ivins
What you need is sustained outrage there’s far too much unthinking respect given to authority. Molly Ivins.
On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes. Molly Ivins
California is now close to spending more on prisons than it does on higher education surely the death warrant of a civilization. Molly Ivins
It’s like, duh. Just when you thought there wasn’t a dime’s worth of difference between the two parties, the Republicans go and prove you’re wrong. Molly Ivins
But Texas Democrats can scarcely bring themselves to hope. Molly Ivins
Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them. Molly Ivins
I don’t so much mind that newspapers are dying it’s watching them commit suicide that pisses me off. Molly Ivins.
It’s all very well to run around saying regulation is bad, get the government off our backs, etc. Of course our lives are regulated. When you come to a stop sign, you stop; if you want to go fishing, you get a license; if you want to shoot ducks, you can shoot only three ducks. The alternative is dead bodies at the intersections, no fish and no ducks. OK? Molly Ivins
Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention. Molly Ivins
It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. Molly Ivins
I often plagiarize from myself. I like to think of this as ecological journalism: I recycle. Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?
Americans are not getting screwed by the Republican Party. They’re getting screwed by the large corporations that bought and own the Republican Party. Molly Ivins
If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day. Molly Ivins.
I am not anti gun. I’m pro knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We’d turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don’t ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives. Molly Ivins
Well, if Clinton can carry Texas, ask the nervously hopeful Democrats, what about Victor Morales? Then, they all think about Phil Gramm and his millions and say, Nah, forget it. Molly Ivins.
Every two years, one of the most hotly contested elections in Texas is the poll taken among members of the capitol press corps to determine who are actually the ten stupidest members of the Legislature. Two years ago, there were thirty seven official nominees and several write ins. Molly Ivins
Calling George Bush shallow is like calling a dwarf short. Molly Ivins.
The impulse to make ourselves safer by making ourselves less free is an old one When we are badly frightened, we think we can make ourselves safer by sacrificing some of our liberties. We did it during the McCarthy era out of fear of communism. Less liberty is regularly proposed as a solution to crime, to pornography, to illegal immigration, to abortion, to all kinds of threats. Molly Ivins
There is no inverse relationship between freedom and security. Less of one does not lead to more of the other. People with no rights are not safe from terrorist attack.
On Bill Clinton: If left to my own devices, I’d spend all my time pointing out that he’s weaker than bus station chili. But the man is so constantly subjected to such hideous and unfair abuse that I wind up standing up for him on the general principle that some fairness should be applied. Besides, no one but a fool or a Republican ever took him for a liberal. Molly Ivins
Young political reporters are always told there are three ways to judge a politician. The first is to look at the record. The second is to look at the record. And third, look at the record. Molly Ivins, ‘Shrub
Although it is true that only about 20 percent of American workers are in unions, that 20 percent sets the standards across the board in salaries, benefits and working conditions. If you are making a decent salary in a non-union company, you owe that to the unions. One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts. Molly Ivins
Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey I’m constipated. Molly Ivins.
Personally, I think government is a tool, like a hammer. You can use a hammer to build or you can use a hammer to destroy; there is nothing intrinsically good or evil about the hammer itself. It is the purposes to which it is put and the skill with which it is used that determine whether the hammer’s work is good or bad. Molly Ivins
That’s the trouble with this country, people keep messing’ up each other’s movies. Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?
If an armed nation were a polite nation, America would be paradise. We have more than 200 million guns in private owernship here. But our manners are not getting better. Molly Ivins
How the American right managed to convince itself that the programs to alleviate poverty are responsible for the consequences of poverty will someday be studied as a notorious mass illusion. Molly Ivins
I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel it’s vulgar. Molly Ivins.
Nice is a pallid virtue. Not like honesty or courage or perseverance. On the other hand, in a nation notably lacking in civility, there is much to be said for nice. Molly Ivins
Most of us think of government as them. Yet government isn’t Them: It’s us. Molly Ivins.
The United States of America is still run by its citizens. The government works for us. Rank imperialism and warmongering are not American traditions or values. Molly Ivins.
Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life it gave me me. It provided me the time and experience and failures and triumphs and friends who helped me step into the shape that had been waiting for me all my life. Molly Ivins
Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don’t much care for. Molly Ivins.
Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory. Molly Ivins
Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences. Molly Ivins.
The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion. Molly Ivins
It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. Molly Ivins.
Conservatives are fond of pointing out there are problems in this world can’t be solved by throwing money at them. There are even more that can’t be solved by dropping bombs on them. Molly Ivins
The thing is this: You got to have fun while you’re fightin’ for freedom, ’cause you don’t always win. Molly Ivins.
There is no inverse relationship between freedom and security. Less of one does not lead to more of the other. People with no rights are not safe from terrorist attack. Molly Ivins
Either we figure out how to keep corporate cash out of the political system or we lose the democracy. Molly Ivins.
Many a time freedom has been rolled back and always for the same sorry reason fear. Molly Ivins
On the whole, I prefer not to be lectured on patriotism by those who keep offshore maildrops in order to avoid paying their taxes. Molly Ivins.
We’ve had trickle down economics in the country for ten years now, and most of us aren’t even damp yet. Molly Ivins
The only problem was, the founders left a lot of people out of the Constitution. They left out poor people and black people and female people. It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America. And it still goes on today. Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?
The trouble with blaming powerless people is that although it’s not nearly as scary as blaming the powerful, it does miss the point. Poor people do not shut down factories Poor people didn’t decide to use ‘contract employees’ because they cost less and don’t get any benefits. Molly Ivins
There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity like what Garrison Keillor does. The other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule that’s what I do. Molly Ivins
It’s hard to argue against cynics they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side. Molly Ivins
I prefer someone who burns the flag and then wraps themselves up in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves up in the flag. Molly Ivins.
I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything. Molly Ivins
First time I ever set foot on the floor of the Texas House of representative, I knew that this was reporter heaven. Molly Ivins.
Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences. Molly Ivins
All anyone needs to enjoy the state legislature is a strong stomach and a complete insensitivity to the needs of the people. As long as you don’t think about what that peculiar body should be doing and what it actually is doing to the quality of life in Texas, then it’s all marvelous fun. Molly Ivins.
I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults. Molly Ivins
The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended. Molly Ivins.
Populism is the simple premise that markets need to be restrained by society and by a democratic political system. We are not socialists or communists, we are proponents of regulated capitalism and, I might add, people who have read American history. Molly Ivins Quotes
Texas Democrats are a little afraid to dream: after all, it has been twenty years since they carried the state. Molly Ivins.
The United States of America is still run by its citizens. The government works for us. Rank imperialism and warmongering are not American traditions or values. We do not need to dominate the world. We want and need to work with other nations. We want to find solutions other than killing people. Not in our name, not with our money, not with our children’s blood. Molly Ivins
It’s just that the Great state has this extra hitch in its get along that makes it just more surreal and bizarre and fabulous by the moment. Molly Ivins.
What you need is sustained outrage there’s far too much unthinking respect given to authority. Molly Ivins
Many times freedom has been rolled back and always for the same sorry reason. Molly Ivins.
I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude; life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves or life to be perfect, which is a real relief. Molly Ivins
We do not need to dominate the world. We want and need to work with other nations. We want to find solutions other than killing people. Not in our name, not with our money, not with our children’s blood. Molly Ivins.
Conservatives have been mad at the Supreme Court since it decided to desegregate the schools in 1954 and seen fit to blame the federal bench for everything that has happened since then that they don’t like. Molly Ivins
Whenever you hear a politician carry on about what a mess the schools are, be aware that you are looking at the culprit. Molly Ivins.
Texas liberals are the camels of good news. We can cross entire deserts between oases. Molly Ivins
