In My Own Time

My recovery is not going at the speed some people would like. I’m too slow. Not making enough progress. I’m not doing enough work or making changes quickly enough. Apparently. It is absolutely true that many people who commence recovery – from anything – progress at a faster rate. They make changes and those changes … Read more In My Own Time

Sidling Along

When I’m not going forward in recovery, I’m perfectly happy to accept sideways. Because moving sideways is not going backwards. I have recently spent the most glorious three days in a lovely little holiday house – big hikes through the bush, lots of champagne and chocolate, late nights lying in front of a roaring fire … Read more Sidling Along

Lured by Darkness

Self-loathing has been a struggle of mine since middle school, a side effect of the new condition I began experiencing called depression. Later on, at sixteen, I developed both anxiety and orthorexia. This cocktail of mental illnesses leaves a bitter aftertaste only I can sense. My name is carved roughly into that wine glass, a … Read more Lured by Darkness

What do I need?

Since I fell apart last year, people keep asking, Are you okay? How can I help? If you need anything, just ask! They are genuine offers but I never know how to respond so just say I’m fine and don’t need anything. Not because I’m a martyr but because I genuinely have no idea. When I’m socialising … Read more What do I need?

Why Do I Do It?

I am coming to the end of an eight week online course for recovery from binge eating and/or bulimia. I am about to commence an eight week online course for transformational writing and author awakening. Both cost money. Neither will return any money to me. So their intrinsic value is about personal growth, not financial … Read more Why Do I Do It?

Onwards & Upwards

At the start of this 30 day challenge I was determined to write consistently about recovery and freedom – unfortunately I quickly became bored and disillusioned and haven’t been entirely consistent with that particular task. I have written every single day! But it’s not always uber cheery. And part of me certainly resents the necessity … Read more Onwards & Upwards

Endings & Excuses

I’ve been in a consistently downward spiral of late. Many people I know in “real” life are now reading this blog, so I need to word things carefully … A few things are coming to an end and there are some changes I’ve been working towards making, all of which lead to increasing anxieties. The recovery … Read more Endings & Excuses

A Happy Memory [or a few…]

As I feel myself sliding, down, down, down again, I want to make a really concerted effort to focus on ups – not downs. I went for a walk after gym this evening, and for the first 20 minutes I found myself falling into heavy, dark, unproductive thoughts. Then I remembered I’m supposed to be retraining my … Read more A Happy Memory [or a few…]