Relationships are built on mutual attractions and understandings, and they cannot last long if we only look for the other person to put effort into a relationship.
You might have heard about the 80/20 rule of Pareto in economics, which states that the 80% of your results come from 20% causes, so one needs to deal with that valuable 20 % to have an 80% favorable result.
We can use this rule in many of our life aspects, but now societal needs demand the 80/20 rule to be applied in relationships to strengthen them.
In relationships, it points out that nothing can be 100% perfect; it is necessary for both the genders to provide 80% to their partner and 20% to their own-self.
The 80/20 relationship theory can provide characteristics of a happy, healthy relationship. But, you might be wondering how this rule works and how it strengthens the relationship and how the probability of having a long-term relationship becomes high? Let’s have a detailed look at the following focus points.
How To Have A Happy Relationship Using The 80/20 Rule
1. Giving personal space
Relationships are as fragile as glass; with little mishandling, it could easily break it down that it cannot be built that way again. Both the partners need to understand each other’s feelings and emotions in the time of need and give enough space to each other to have work on their decisions individually.
Personal space is also significant for self-nourishment; one should get involved in healthy activities to have a healthy mindset and, ultimately, a healthy relationship.
It helps both the individual to resume their freedom of living; you can travel or pick up any hobby without having the pressure of check-in together. 80/20 rule aim is to eliminate any feeling of resentment by providing space
2. Having reality checks
80/20 rule helps to be realistic and satisfied. This principle provides a sense of maturity, reality, and dignity. It goes against the impulse to bail if someone doesn’t fit into your perfect world of relationship.
Looking for someone to be 100% perfect is unworthy of time, emotions, and attachments. Keeping yourself in the bubble of an ideal world of fantasy would never allow you to grow and have nurturing relationships and keep you in the state of never-ending dissatisfaction, which would ultimately affect the relationship’s health.
If you cannot be happy and satisfied with 80% of the great, then it is sure you cannot get pleased with much else. One of the advantages of this principle is that it keeps you on track of reality and makes you believe in imperfection; plus, reality checks allow you to have better relationships and less stress.
3. Keeps you grounded in gratitude
Keeping in mind that nothing is perfect and reminding oneself makes you feel the importance of what you have. Loving someone for their imperfection is something more fascinating and wondering than anything else.
This rule makes your relationship lasts for long as it keeps you grounded in gratitude. Allowing someone to be in his/her comfort zone and exploring each other’s imperfections and quirks makes the relationship even more wonderful and satisfactory.
When you develop a positive attitude towards each other’s and accept what you have, and own it with all your heart can make relationships more bearable and loving. Also the probability of having a long-lasting relationship becomes high.
4. Embrace oneself
It is an undeniable fact that human nature is complex and fragile. It gets puzzled and breaks down so easily. We can be difficult to understand at times; we burst out, we cry a lot, we scream, we get scared, we get insecure, and what not?
The ratio of complexity varies from human to human. An individual has to step into their partners’ shoes and feel the ride of emotions they are going through.
Leaving your partner for being hard and uneasy to handle at times despite being the happiest couple for most of the time doesn’t seem to be a sensible decision.
The 80/20 rule demands to embrace the bad in the other, also in one’s own-self, it will undoubtedly rear its head with the time. It is necessarily crucial for both the partners to embrace the ugliness of their nature.
5. It brings a positive attitude
Owning that the 80/20 rule keeps you realistic would automatically make you satisfied with what you have. It is very easy to pick-up “wrongs” in the relationship rather than looking for the “rights” in it.
This rule brings much positivity with it that allows you to ignore the “wrongs” of the relationship. It is the reminder to appreciate the little good you have and be thankful for every blessing.
You should look for the good in your partner and deal with his/her imperfections and deal with it patiently and willingly because it won’t, then you must be dealing with someone else’s. Keeping a healthy and positive mindset would grow your relationship peacefully and beautifully.
6. Having an eye on your own-self
The most beneficial key point of practicing the 80/20 rule in relationships is that it focuses on oneself. People expect 100% from their ideal partners; they don’t accept a little less from their partner but never use that measuring rules on themselves. It would be best if you had worked on yourself before pointing your finger at others.
We all have goods and bad, we all do sins, we all carry baggage, and we need to improve ourselves first rather than making judgments on others. 80/20 rule helps you to stay grounded and embrace the spectacle of your own-self.
Self-evaluation is a must, and it can be initiated by having a question/answer session with own-self, asking yourself that if I’m having the same standards of living that I have for others?
Also, if I’m projecting my negative thoughts on my partner or having creepy behavior that would irritate my partner? Am I hard on my partner? Am I doing right to my partner? And what If she/he does the same to me? It is imperative to fit in others’ shoes to understand them and focus on oneself.
7. It values the existence of each other
Sticking 24/7 to your partner would make both feel bore and breed resentment, resulting in making them stifle. Spending too much time would never allow both partners to know the value of each other’s existence. 80/20 rule guides you to give space to each other.
When space is given to the couples by themselves to do whatever matches their interests outside of the relationship, it helps to value each other existence much more and makes time more memorable and cherished.
Contrarily, there is also a possibility that some people may find it more attractive to spend more time with their partner, but it varies from person to person.
Also, many find that 20% of the alone time more peaceful and enjoyable than the rest of the 80% time spent together, some may find the need to increase the alone time as well, or some may need to decrease the alone time. It is vital to communicate as communication is the key to a healthy relationship. People should respect each other’s emotional values.
Acceptance is the key to every success; it is really important to accept whatever you have and whatsoever comes in a way.
In relationships, it’s significantly necessary to accept the flaws of each other’s and embrace them. The 80/20 rule relationship theory says to embrace all the aspects of your life, beautiful and fruitful, rather than looking for the perfect one. It has the literal meaning to accept and ignore the flaws and appreciate the good you have.
Also, be thankful for all the great and sound in your life, and talking about relationships; it is completely okay for an individual not to have perfection in their partner and feel 100% happy with them.
Accepting the fact that love doesn’t demand perfection all the time is what the 80/20 rule aim is. This rule allows you to focus on your partner and relationships’ right and positive and embrace the beauty of imperfect relationships. It makes one realize that nobody is ideal; it takes hard work, tolerance, and commitment.
9. Strengthen Trust
Trust is the pillar of every relationship; once it’s broken, nothing can build it again. 80/20 rule allows the personal space to the individuals when space is given both the individuals spent time outside of their relationship; it could be a catch up with their friends or alone time or traveling. It is not like an open relationship, but it gives your partner an amount of time to be 100% of himself. When both the individuals spent 80% of the time together after having their 20% of “me time” with the same enthusiasm, love, and care, it assures togetherness and strengthens the trust even more.
These were few focus points of practicing the 80/20 rule in relationships, and I hope these will strengthen your relationship. It might be possible that some of the facts would work differently for some people, but you need to observe the nature of the relationship and improve accordingly.