The Land As it Lays

It’s the start of July and here’s the lay of the land. Scarily, it’s over half way through the year and I’ve had so many amazing, life changing experiences. It feels like a lot of my 20s I was getting by and then I went though a severe illness and it changed me from the inside. It’s hard to say how, I’ve grieved for my health for a long while and while I wasn’t the most confident before becoming unwell, I lost more faith in myself and to some others around me I was less capable, more unstable and the question “will you cope with that?” phrased in different ways came up a lot when I tried to move forward. I was offered the full time job I’m in now and this question was asked. Could I cope with full time? Yes, I answered, I’ll cope just fine. The truth is, whilst I answered this without hesitation I wasn’t sure whether I would. I hadn’t worked full time for a while and I was throwing myself into it. But I didn’t sink, I swam, fast and powerful.

At the start of the year my boyfriend and I booked a holiday to Bali to go in April. It drew closer and closer and finally it was happening. I admit, I was nervous about it, it’s a long way away from home, it’s a very different country and culture and my boyfriend wasn’t on top form health wise and hadn’t travelled as much as me.

Well, we got to Bali and the airline lost our suitcase and we didn’t know where the transfer to the hotel was. Not the best when you’ve travelled around 19 hours without much sleep or a shower. We got a taxi to our hotel and were relieved that it was very nice, equipt with soap and toothbrushes and toothpaste thankfully. I had to buy some new clothes and accessories. I was very happy not to be confined any longer and eating airplane food.

Very early in the morning, around 1am, we received a call from reception. Our suitcases had arrived! Both of us excited and giddy my boyfriend brought them to our room.

We got into the swing of being in Bali, we were right by beach and the were copious restaurants and bars nearby. We had trips out of Kuta (the resort we were staying) visiting the stunning temples by the sea, rooftop bar crawling, going up the mountains, seeing waterfalls, coffee plantations, bathing in the hot springs and drinking cocktails whilst taking in the incredible views. It’s fair to say Bali was good to us and I loved it there.


The journey back home included a crap hotel in a dodgy area in Kuala Lumpa, our flight being delayed and being put in a better hotel with a rooftop pool and free food. We had access to the First Class lounge where I couldn’t enjoy the free drinks as I felt extremely sick (probably from the under cooked chicken at the crappy hotel). Then we had the 13 hour flight from Kuala Lumpa to London.


It was an amazing experience and I enjoyed being in Bali and seeing it’s vast beauty. It wasn’t all plain sailing with my boyfriend during the holiday but we didn’t get sick of each other or bored or fall out badly and it was wonderful to experience it with someone I love so much.

I’ve travelled within England with my boyfriend this year to London a few times, we celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Bristol and visited one of my best friends and we’ve been to Bournemouth. In less than 3 weeks we’ll be off to his hometown in Northern Ireland, where I’ll meet his mum and best friends and sample the chicken and chips.

It’s easy to feel like you’re not capable of progressing and seeing others moving forward can feel like the pressure is on to keep up. We’re all going to get there anyway hopefully, it’s just everyone moves at different paces.

Seeing the world, being with my boyfriend, meeting new friends and maintaining my relationships with the older ones, watching my brothers take new steps and reach new stages in life and landing a secure job for myself. I’m even hoping to put a deposit down to rent a flat. These are wonderful things, things I’ve worked really hard for. That’s where the land lies now.