These are my boobs

Being a mom is a wonderful experience. I love the idea of watching a little person grow into themselves with wishful thinking that they will take the love and guidance and put to good use.

I am a mother of four and bonus mother of two. It was never easy as I started motherhood at the young age of sixteen. I watch my son grow into a man and often have mom guilt.
Yep. Mom guilt does exist!
You feel guilty about what you should have or shouldn’t have done to make their live better. Then slowly creeps in the mom anxiety.
Yep. Mom anxiety does exist.
You feel anxious and overprotective about the harsh words or ways that people may treat your child. Then slowly but firecely momma bear steps in.
Yep. I am a momma bear.
But I am also human. Being a mom doesn’t give me super powers. I don’t have this burst of energy to be able to clean house, raise my kids, go to work, entertain folks and go to bed with my hair in place.

I get tired.
I find the easy way out.
I live out of my laundry basket for a week.
I do quick meals or fend for your self nights.
I still nurse my 14 month old in the middle of the night when she’s attacking me at night…Yep. We still cosleep.

What I am saying is that I am human AND these are my boobs!!!

Stop shaming parents who are still breastfeeding after the age of one.
Stop shaming parents who are too tired to get up to fix that bottle or cup or breakfast and finds it easy to roll over in the middle of the night and nurse.
Stop shaming and start asking “how can I help?”.
Stop shaming and start understanding.
Stop shaming and just embrace that this momma maybe tired, busy, or just need some time to self and the only way she can get it is by nursing her child who’s screaming or needing their momma.
These are my boobs.

Rant over…now the blog…

When I see moms that come in they are often anxious about how the world sees them. It is not fun when you are trying your best to be a good parent and people are always saying things about every little thing. Most times these people are our family members. What we don’t see is the constant self shaming a mother does when she is being told that she needs to stop nursing her baby after they’ve hit toddler age or having to be in protect mode when their child is having challenges in school due to a diagnosis that he/she cannot control.

We don’t see the tears of a mother who is working 12 hour days and she just want to come home and sleep but knows she has to step into her role a a mom and partner or else people will judge her. How about when we don’t see the mother who is a stay a home mom spending time with her kids and the house is a mess but feels on edge to keep it clean because of the overcontrolling mother (or MIL) that comes over and turns up her nose at the mess the kids made.

Parent shaming is something that is done a lot and sometimes people don’t even realize that they are doing it. It is often found in these mom groups where everyone has their own idea of motherhood and with good intent think that their idea is better or best.

There is no book on motherhood. There is no expert on motherhood. You are the expert of your life!

I want to end this by saying that you all are great mothers. What ever you need to do to make it work for you…by all means do so. These are our boobs!!!!

Tahiyya Martin

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