141+ Best Tina Fey Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Elizabeth Stamatina “Tina” Fey is an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and playwright. Profoundly inspirational Tina Fey quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

If you’re searching for famous comedy quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes by Erma Bombeck, best Jack Handey quotes and greatest Terry Pratchett quotes.

Famous Tina Fey Quotes

Most of the time you’re too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, ‘I work at ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and that is so cool. – Tina Fey

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy. – Tina Fey

Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. – Tina Fey

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. – Tina Fey

There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth. – Tina Fey

Sleep when your baby sleeps. Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless. – Tina Fey

When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real. – Tina Fey

Television is a runaway train that you have to get on for nine months of the year. But at the same time, it has a wonderful immediacy. – Tina Fey

Some people work with a trainer, some people work with a stylist. I work with a celebrity fecalist. A fecalist is basically a person who comes and collects my stools, and then examines them to see if I’m eating right and if I should be drinking more water and what my moods should be. – Tina Fey

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date! – Tina Fey

In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor. – Tina Fey

Whatever the problem – be part of the solution – Tina Fey

I believe in process. I believe that having a really difficult process is more valuable than a good outcome. – Tina Fey

It is less dangerous to draw a cartoon of Allah French-kissing Uncle Sam — which, let me make it very clear, I have not done — than it is to speak honestly about [working moms]. – Tina Fey

The ladies of comedy now are comfortable dressing up. It’s not forbidden anymore. – Tina Fey

I’m a logic monster, if things don’t make sense I’ve gotta make sense of them. I enjoy helping to develop material for movies, it’s a way for me to get into the part. – Tina Fey

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. – Tina Fey

North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror. Even more amazing: not the worst review the movie got. – Tina Fey

Feminists do the best Photoshop because they leave the meat on your bones. They don’t change your size or your skin color. They leave in your disgusting knuckles, but they may take out some armpit stubble. Not because they’re denying its existence, but because they understand that it’s okay to make a photo look as if you were caught on your best day in the best light. – Tina Fey

You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams. – Tina Fey

Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards. – Tina Fey

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process. People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere. – Tina Fey

If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities. – Tina Fey

After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that’s where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you. – Tina Fey

I think for women especially, you need to have a plan. I need to have some other ways to generate income, so I don’t have to stretch my face or lift the top of my head with surgery or something. – Tina Fey

I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted. – Tina Fey

Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City. – Tina Fey

I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day. – Tina Fey

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. – Tina Fey

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist. – Tina Fey

Now if you’re not „hot”, you are expected to work on it until you are. It’s like when you renovate a house and you’re legally required to leave just one of the original walls standing. If you don’t have a good body you have down to a neutral shape, then bolt on some breast implants, replace your teeth, dye you hair, and call yourself the Playmate of the Year. How do we survive this? How do we teach our daughters and our gay sons that they are good enough the way they are? We have to lead by example. – Tina Fey

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior. – Tina Fey

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we’re like Oprah and Gale. Only we’re not denying anything. – Tina Fey

Life is improvisation. – Tina Fey

I don’t really have a nemesis, but I have a series of hundreds of small enemies that fuel me. Everyone I meet I assume is out to get me and that fuels my fire on a daily basis. – Tina Fey

If you are capable people are happy to play with you. – Tina Fey

It’s not vanity, because if you look weird, it will distract from what your trying to do. If you look as good as you can, people will be able to pay attention to what your actually saying. – Tina Fey

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon. – Tina Fey

Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable. – Tina Fey

MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice. – Tina Fey

I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad. – Tina Fey

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey. – Tina Fey

If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you’re asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do. – Tina Fey

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. – Tina Fey

Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you. – Tina Fey

You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. – Tina Fey

Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing! – Tina Fey

You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible. – Tina Fey

And I can see Russia from my house. – Tina Fey

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion. – Tina Fey

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss. – Tina Fey

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. – Tina Fey

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. – Tina Fey

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you. – Tina Fey

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it. – Tina Fey

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people. – Tina Fey

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. – Tina Fey

There are no mistakes only opportunities. – Tina Fey

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it. – Tina Fey

Thomas Jefferson—another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings. – Tina Fey

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?” – Tina Fey

To me YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute. Always make sure you’re adding something to the discussion. Your initiations are worthwhile. – Tina Fey

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously. – Tina Fey

When I started on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. – Tina Fey

Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don’t know who that’s attributed to. I think it’s Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great. – Tina Fey

I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen. – Tina Fey

For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. – Tina Fey

You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don’t think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles – a shiny, shiny face. – Tina Fey

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’. – Tina Fey

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy. – Tina Fey

I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people. – Tina Fey

Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time. – Tina Fey

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it’s a little unseemly for women of a certain age. – Tina Fey

I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that. – Tina Fey

I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah. – Tina Fey

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity. – Tina Fey

I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen. – Tina Fey

When I was going to school in, like, ’84 to ’88, you didn’t have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that. – Tina Fey

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it. – Tina Fey

I think my level of fame will drop back down. I think it’ll recede. In fact, I know it will. That’s life on Planet Earth. And I’m okay with that. Besides getting tables at restaurants and special treatment at the airport, what else is there? – Tina Fey

Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying. – Tina Fey

Yeah, it’s tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it’s true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in. – Tina Fey

Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward. – Tina Fey

I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people. – Tina Fey

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about. – Tina Fey

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. – Tina Fey

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing. – Tina Fey

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job? – Tina Fey

I don’t weigh myself. I just go by if my clothes fit. I try not to participate too much in the incredible amount of wasted energy that women have around dealing with food. I just feel like being healthy is sort of a job requirement to be on TV, and being a writer is so much coping with fatigue and stress, and you just eat. You eat to stay awake. – Tina Fey

I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing. – Tina Fey

I am extremely square and obedient in nature! – Tina Fey

You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone. – Tina Fey

I feel like I represent normalcy in some way. – Tina Fey

I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I’m with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. That’s basically how we’re doing it. – Tina Fey

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet. – Tina Fey

I feel like it’s harder to get women to show up for movies. – Tina Fey

I really wasn’t heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school. – Tina Fey

I’m more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I’m mostly an improviser, though I haven’t improvised in awhile. – Tina Fey

I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom’s only instruction was ‘You just go in and pull the big Republican lever.’ That’s my welcome to adulthood. She’s like, ‘No, don’t even read it. Just pull the Republican lever. – Tina Fey

I remember failing my Princeton interview. My mom wanted me to apply because ever since I was a kid she had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, but it was just not happening. – Tina Fey

I think if you ask any of us here, we all dreamed of ending up on Saturday Night Live. I remember thinking, ‘I’ll just keep doing this as long as I can get away with it.’ – Tina Fey

I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’ – Tina Fey

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to. – Tina Fey

Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like ‘Saturday Night Live’ forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model. – Tina Fey

When I was really young, I loved the movie ‘White Christmas’ – I still do – and I thought Rosemary Clooney was so pretty. When I was, like, nine, I would tell people, ‘You know who I kind of look like? Rosemary Clooney.’ – Tina Fey

My favorite day at ’30 Rock’ is Thursday when the show airs. At lunch, we screen the episodes. For everyone to watch together, to see the stuff we all worked on, to hear the crew laugh – it’s great fun. – Tina Fey

Twitter seems like a busman’s holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I’ll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I’m old-fashioned that way. – Tina Fey

Even when I was at ‘SNL,’ I didn’t do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them – I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show – but I didn’t have any experience. – Tina Fey

I like to delude myself that I’m in the old-Hollywood mode. I just tailor my clothes well and try to keep my skin clear. While it would be great to work out an hour a day, there is something inherently sort of selfish about it. I can’t do it. – Tina Fey

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other. – Tina Fey

I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. – Tina Fey

I never get to go to movies, because I’m a mom. – Tina Fey

I think the world has too many actresses. – Tina Fey

The idea of being in control for the sake of control is not really important to me. If everyone is sharp and doing what they’re doing well, you don’t really need to be in control all the time. – Tina Fey

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too. – Tina Fey

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way. – Tina Fey

I think everyone’s intentions are to become a performer at first. But by the time I was in high school and college, I discovered that I liked writing and that I was probably a little better at it. – Tina Fey

I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child. – Tina Fey

I didn’t get on TV until I was 30, which is really fortunate because you are who you are at that point. – Tina Fey

I’m a big fan of ‘The Office’, both the British and the American versions. – Tina Fey

Doing one movie every two years is about all I can handle ’cause, being the creator at ’30 Rock’, my year there starts in the middle of June and goes back around until March. – Tina Fey

I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep. – Tina Fey

President Bush unveiled his new economic stimulus plan this week. It was reported that if the plan passes the president himself would save $44,000 in taxes, Dick Cheney would save $327,000, and you could afford to take the whole family down to Burger King to pick up job applications. – Tina Fey

My parents have been very brave about my being here, and I remember after the 11th thinking for sure they were going to say, ‘Come home, come home.’ Instead, my father gave me a speech about how important it was for me to be brave and stay in New York and keep working. That inspired me quite a bit. – Tina Fey

there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was ‘mean’ when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of ‘going too far’ in their political impressions. You see what I’m getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both. – Tina Fey

The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield. – Tina Fey

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don’t take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy. – Tina Fey

You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. – Tina Fey

The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing. – Tina Fey

Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement. – Tina Fey

You can fix it as soon as you get up – you brush and use mouthwash – but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave. – Tina Fey

I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there. – Tina Fey

I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, ‘I’ve got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy! – Tina Fey

Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does. – Tina Fey

It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds. – Tina Fey

It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go. You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it…You have to let people see what you wrote. – Tina Fey

Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable (a two week transatlantic crossing) seem bearable. There’s no need to do it now, there are planes. You wouldn’t take a vacation where you ride on a stage coach for two months but there’s all-you-can-eat shrimp. You wouldn’t take a vacation where you had an old-timey appendectomy without anesthesia while steel drums play. You might take a vacation while riding on a camel for two days IF they gave you those little animal towels wearing your sunglasses. – Tina Fey

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but i persevered because like you trying to a do a nine- piece jigsaw puzzle, it was a labor of love. – Tina Fey

This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens – Tina Fey

We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be? – Tina Fey

Your initiations are worthwhile. – Tina Fey

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