Today I put this Matter to Rest

I couldn’t get myself to sleep yesterday night. I tossed and turned on my bed, thought about every possible thing on this planet even the economy (It’s now 4:00 AM). Speaking of which i am worried that by the time i have kids of my own, I’ll be breaking a bank just to get them to kindergarten. I am a genuinely worried guys, whatever happened to money but let’s continue this discussion later.


Today i am here to address the issue of asking a woman’s age, i mean it has been said over and over again but these men don’t seem to get it. It is one of those unwritten rules that we are not sure who came up with them but we follow them anyway because it’s in our favor. Now don’t tell me that i am too young and i shouldn’t worry about my age because time flies and very soon I’ll be uncomfortable about you asking my age not unless you will be bringing dowry to my parents house.  There’s something about growing old that terrifies women, for along time my mum won’t tell me her age. I would be like “mum how old are you?” and she would go,”is that in your homework?” “No” “Then focus on your homework kid” up until i found her National Identification card, when i was applying for mine, then made it one of my many passwords so i wouldn’t forget.

Not unless you are an immigration officer, secretary or an application form, there really isn’t any polite reason why you would need to know. It is one of the universal things that almost never has the right answer. If she replies back with “how old do you think i am?”, Honey, you are doomed, it doesn’t matter if she’s six or sixty, you’ll be surprised at what a six year old would do not to give up her age.

So homeboy here’s how you can make her feel good about it after asking her her age and you are lucky enough to get the answer follow it up with “you don’t look a day over 25” and a big smile on your face so she’s able to smile back at you.

Or maybe you could go like “i just wish to know at what age a woman is the most beautiful” i am sure she wont be offended by that. I think the last one which always works for one of my friends is he goes right ahead and asks for a girl’s age then goes like, “lemme guess” He guesses about five or ten years younger than she looks like and the lady is really flattered and tells him his real age. I don’t think it’s fair though but it works. I hope this works for you after all what friend would i be if i let you get punched in the face by being too straightforward with your questions.

Until the day I’ll be able to tell my granddaughter i am a hot 75year old grandma and counting, don’t ask for her age. It’s funny how when we are young and really old that it is easier to tell our age but somewhere there in between it’s very difficult. This is on behalf of most 30-something year olds, i understand what you are going through and i know i will get there but let’s hope nobody asks me because i am not a good liar, i will just tell you and if you think you can’t stick around just walk. Now i know you are asking why would she just not tell, we will eventually know, just let her be, let her feel good about herself and if that means not telling you her age then so be it.

Meanwhile i am off to get me breakfast and go through all your blogs because they are awesome.

Thank you for reading and always coming back.


3 thoughts on “Today I put this Matter to Rest”

  1. Interesting. I haven’t really had an issue admitting my age, but then again I like the surprise on people’s faces when I admit 37. It’s amusing to me.

    (By the way, kids are a heck of a lot cheaper to have if you use a midwife instead of a hospital and openly solicit for hand me downs. It’s still more expensive than it should be but it’s better than it could be.)


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