55+ Best Tony Soprano Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Anthony John Soprano is a fictional character and the protagonist in the HBO television drama series The Sopranos, portrayed by James Gandolfini. Profoundly inspirational Tony Soprano quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

Famous Tony Soprano Quotes

Let me tell ya something. Nowadays, everybody’s gotta go to shrinks, and counselors, and go on Sally Jessy Raphael and talk about their problems. What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type. That was an American. He wasn’t in touch with his feelings. He just did what he had to do. See, what they didn’t know was once they got Gary Cooper in touch with his feelings that they wouldn’t be able to shut him up! And then it’s dysfunction this, and dysfunction that, and dysfunction vaffancul! – Tony Soprano

If you can quote the rules, then you can obey them. – Tony Soprano

We buried him…on a hill…overlooking a river…with pine cones all around. – Tony Soprano

What constitutes a fidget? – Tony Soprano

You got any idea what my life would be worth if certain people found out I checked into a laughing academy? – Tony Soprano

I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside. – Tony Soprano

A grown man made a wager. He lost. He made another one – he lost again. End of story. – Tony Soprano

The only reason I did this is because you’re my nephew, and I love you. If it were anybody else, they would’ve gotten that intervention through the back of their fing head. – Tony Soprano

Speaking to Christopher Moltisanti, the cousin of ’s wife and part of his inner circle: Blood. You’re going to lead this family into the st century. – Tony Soprano

Speaking again to Dr. Melfi: The things I take pleasure in, I can’t do. – Tony Soprano

Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: You know where I was yesterday when you called?… I was outside a whorehouse, while a guy that works for me was inside beating the sh*t out of a guy that owes me money. Broke his arm. Put a bullet in his kneecap. Dr Jennifer Melfi: How’d that make you feel? Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Wished it was me in there. Dr Jennifer Melfi: Giving the beating or taking it? – Tony Soprano

Well, when you’re married, you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce. – Tony Soprano

I wipe my *ss with your feelings. – Tony Soprano

When you’re married, you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce. – Tony Soprano

In response to Dr. Melfi’s question, after he threatens to smash her face during a therapy session: Is this a woman thing? You ask me how I’m feeling. I tell you how I’m feeling, and now you’re going to torture me with it. – Tony Soprano

Nostradamus and Notre Dame. It’s two different things completely. – Tony Soprano

You bottomed out. – Tony Soprano

I went ahead and ordered some for the table. – Tony Soprano

All due respect, you got no fg idea what it’s like to be Number One. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fg thing. It’s too much to deal with almost. And in the end you’re completely alone with it all. – Tony Soprano

What use is an unloaded gun? – Tony Soprano

‘Remember when’ is the lowest form of conversation. – Tony Soprano

I don’t care how close you are: in the end, your friends are gonna let you down. Family. They’re the only ones you can depend on. – Tony Soprano

We’re soldiers. Soldiers don’t go to hell. It’s war. Soldiers kill other soldiers. We’re in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you’ve got to do certain things. It’s business. – Tony Soprano

What happened to Gary Cooper, the strong silent type. – Tony Soprano

He’s gonna leave the house. On a piece of plywood if necessary, but he’s gonna leave the house. – Tony Soprano

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Are you still taking the lithium? Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Lithium, Prozac. When’s it gonna end? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: We’re trying to give a jolt to your system. Give it a… a little kick-start. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Why don’t you kick me in the f*ckin’ head? Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I know what you’re going through must be painful. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: This isn’t painful. Getting shot is painful. Getting stabbed in the ribs is painful. This sh*t isn’t painful. It’s empty… dead. – Tony Soprano

Someday soon, you’re gonna have families of your own and if you’re lucky, you’ll remember the little moments like this, that were good. – Tony Soprano

Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman’s Sampler? – Tony Soprano

Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: You’re looking good. Looking better. Corrado Erico ‘Uncle Junior’ Soprano: Tony, if you’re gonna lie to me, tell me there’s a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Hey, You want that, it’s a phone call away. – Tony Soprano

Carmela Soprano: I think you should pay him, Tony. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: No f*cking way! Carmela Soprano: What, your daughter’s future isn’t worth , dollars? Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: That’s not it. That motherf*ck*r’s full of sh*t. He’s shaking me down. Carmela Soprano: No, he’s not. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Oh, yeah? Who knows more about extortion, me or you? – Tony Soprano

It’s almost time for turkey sandwiches! – Tony Soprano

Summing up the root of the problems between him and his Uncle June at the end of season one: C*nniling*s and psychiatry brought us to this. – Tony Soprano

They say every day’s a gift, but why does it have to be a pair of socks? – Tony Soprano

Those who want respect, give respect. – Tony Soprano

Bad for the grass! Bad for the grass! – Tony Soprano

This is gonna sound stupid, but I saw at one point that our mothers are … bus drivers. No, they are the bus. See, they’re the vehicle that gets us here. They drop us off and go on their way. They continue on their journey. And the problem is that we keep tryin’ to get back on the bus, instead of just lettin’ it go. – Tony Soprano

Buy land, ‘cause God ain’t making any more of it. – Tony Soprano

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What line of work are you in? : Waste management consultant. – Tony Soprano

I’m like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to sh*t. – Tony Soprano

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. – Tony Soprano

Log off. That ‘cookies’ sh-t makes me nervous. – Tony Soprano

I won’t pay. I know too much about extortion. – Tony Soprano

During the pilot episode: It’s good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that and I know. But lately, I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. – Tony Soprano

You should try tomato sauce for your a$$ – it’s the Italian version. – Tony Soprano

It’s good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that and I know. But lately, I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over. – Tony Soprano

Speaking to his wife, Carmela: You’re only religious when it suits you. – Tony Soprano

A wrong decision is better than indecision. – Tony Soprano

There’s an old Italian saying: you f*ck up once, you lose two teeth. – Tony Soprano

There’s nothing more useless than a loaded gun. – Tony Soprano

Those who want respect give respect. – Tony Soprano

Referring to his mother’s involvement in a plot to kill him: What kind of person can I be, where his own mother wants him dead? – Tony Soprano

Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Maybe I should tap into my roots, too. My grandmother was half Indian. Christopher Moltisanti: Get the f*ck out of here. Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: No, it’s true. She was in the Fakawee tribe. Christopher Moltisanti: Oh, yeah? Anthony ‘Tony’ Soprano Sr.: Yeah. When they used to get lost in the woods, they stopped and said Where the Fakawee? – Tony Soprano

In series one, epsiode five: My father was in it. My uncle was in it. Maybe I was too lazy to think for myself. – Tony Soprano

Talking to his psychiatrist: We’re soldiers. Soldiers don’t go to hell. It’s war. Soldiers kill other soldiers. We’re in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you’ve got to do certain things. It’s business. – Tony Soprano

There’s an old Italian saying: you f–k up once, you lose two teeth. – Tony Soprano

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