What is break up and how to get going.

Now we need to deeply understand many things before we say break up in love hurts and we feel we get into state of anxiety and depression. For this first we need to know a few things deeply some which I found out after my break up and how I see it.On what basis does relationship really last,we need to see why we need someone in our life,we need to understand why break up takes place and finally we need a way out to be happy again.


We all are not born in one-dimensional way see otherwise, this whole world would be sheer boredoom. From the moment we start understanding we are in one search,and it is basically to be one with existence because separation hurts.When we our in love relationship our other in small measures we are searching for the same unity. In love with a woman, in love with a man, in love with a friend, in love with some creative activity – dance, music, poetry – we are trying to have a certain synchronicity with existence. Of all the man-woman thing is a compulsive love affair. Nature itself is pushing us towards each other because nature is interested in only one thing – perpetuating herself. What I and my girlfriend use to call and questioned about source is that because nature wants we had to come together somehow even when we were 4159 miles apart.And because nature does bring two people closer is that you and me are born. This is a compulsive need. This is one love affair that is chemically supported by nature.For most of these love affairs, unfortunately, once the chemistry runs out, they wonder why the hell they are together and sadly there is a breakup.

According to Dr. Lickerman, author of The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, true love or friendship embodies three qualities: the friends are committed to each other’s happiness and won’t refrain from confronting bad or harmful behavior; the friends never ask each other to compromise on their values and principles; and the friends influence each other in positive ways and encourage each other to live up to their full potential. But somehow today we people are often drawned together in love because of common interests,common values and a feeling of equality.

When two people say “I love you ” or maybe when she and I said these words I felt a strand of energy from me in a certain way beyond my logic, beyond my understanding, beyond my psychological, emotional and physical needs, somewhere deep inside, I felt she and I got tied together, two lives as if became one. So we always say I will love you forever and I promise never to break it.
Now see when there is a break up it means we have to tear two lives apart because it was a kind of a union. If we look deep inside us we will see we were praying deeply that things be always good and we stay together forever and these prayers desires made two beings be welded together.
I healing myself in just 9 days am not saying it is heartbreaking, but definitely it is disappointing that most people cannot form deep relationships in their lives. All because many of us form relationships only according to our needs and cannot form relationships beyond needs. A relationship just for the sake of relationship is not formed but they form a relationship when they need it and when they don’t need it, they break it. Now two people who shared body,emotions,sensations,self space together are ripping apart is like tearing us apart and yes it hurts and this is the pain we are suffer when there is a break up. Break up for the other is like killing himself/herself because love is shared and it is a positive energy and we shared so much energy when we are with someone and as we have created more memory (energy)with the other thus it disturbs,hurts us when there is break up.

What we call as myself is just volume of memory.Our body in a way is simply made of genetic memory it carries,as soon as we are born memories of mother,father,relatives,sisters,brothers starts getting collected in the body.So what we call our body is just an intricate amalgamation of mind, matter and culture.(THE BODY WITHIN BY José Van Dijck).Memories go into us through 5 senses from eyes we see,from nose we smell,from ears we hear,from tongue we taste and skin we touch. Out of these 5 seeing and touching creates a certain level of memory,the deepest form is by touch. Now even if we are mentally and emotionally able to handle the break up our whole system still goes through a process ,the memory takes works in every cell of our body and this is physical process.The body needs time to work out the memory filled in it and thus to be peaceful it will be lot harder.

What I see break up, is what I shared in this post and I will only request you to see into your inner self and start working for inner self.Only once we can work inwards is there a chance that we will be able to come out pain and hurt are facing due to break ups. Reading how in many post and listening motivational tapes trust me never works it is only when we try and sit down and understand our true selves things work out and we are in state of peace which we all want.
There is only one possibility for sanity to exist in relationships so they don’t turn into inferiority and superiority games, so they don’t become sado-masochistic tortures and there are no break ups and that only possibility is in the presence of an unconditional love. Love is the greatest alchemy and this love can be given out when we have worked for our inner growth.
Try to understand as it really helped me to recover from the setback the closer the relationship the more effort we need to put to understand it.Somebody becomes closer to us as we understand them better(what we assume),so if they understand us ,they enjoy the closeness of the relationship and if we understand the other better we enjoy their closeness. With our understanding we can create situations where the other person can understand us better .Now if we are expecting the other to understand and comply with us all the time we are in reality not understanding the limitations,possibilities,needs and capabilities of the other and there it is a conflict and almost always this conflict leads to the hard tghing the Break up.


So I realized that somehow her needs were different ,her capacity her capability to understand the deepness of our relationship was limited and thus a break up between her and me took place. HAHA so she needed someone better ,thus all I said to her sorry .

Yoga as I started and I knew what it really is helped me to be again be in state of happiness,yoga is science of activating our inner energies in such a way that our body,mind and emotions function at their highest peak.

15 thoughts on “What is break up and how to get going.”

  1. Not all relationships are for a lifetime. People come into our lives to teach us something. When the relationship ends either positive or negative we thank them for the lesson bless them and let them go. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • I really first thank you for taking out time to read and comment. Yes I know all relationships are not for life time but we form relationship or meet someone due to reason,but somehow even knowing we do feel hurt (at the end of day simple human beings we are) and so I only wanted to write my story how I got hurt ,suffered and then realize what should I do.

  2. I have experienced it before and It’s hard but I learned something from it and the truth is Time really heals everything, without bitterness. Forgiveness will come in the right time.

    • Mae first thank you for writing your thoughts and reading the post….yes time heals but we need to know how to make time heal…simply remaining in state of hurt and suffering will never even allow time to heal it,do you agree……the moment we are ready to forgive ourselves forgiving others is matter of a moment….we are responsible for our own happiness and thus we need to forgive ourselves first…..Yoga helped me so that is what I shared and in mediation I was able to ask forgiveness from my love of life….she is my Soul Mate so I do love her still and how can I blame my other part thus forgiveness was easy….*smiles*

  3. I really enjoy your thought provoking posts. I think you have hit the nail on the head really when you say work on yourself. This is crucial as we need to love (and forgive) ourselves before we can learn to love and forgive others.

    We also need to look at what our expectations of love and relationships might be, this will have a big effect on our experience.

    Also, we need to remember that ‘love’ is a verb not just a feeling. The initial ‘love’ feeling will fade if love is not given.

    • THANK YOU for taking time to read and thank you for writing back on the post with valuable knowledge. And hey *smiles* sorry if I hit the nail ,I normally cannot hurt a mosquito even*laughs*…..yes we need to accept ourselves as we are,love ourselves,work on us,and only then we can think of working outside. I don’t seem to see love that way because if we really loved it has nothing to do with verb…in my case I loved,love and will continue loving her …only thing I mistook was expecting love in return….love is to be shared and those who have heart full of love they are indeed feeling lucky that someone accepted their love….I am grateful to her that she accepted my love,things change,people change and this has to be accepted by me….forgave myself thus forgave her.

      • It you’re heart is full of love then you are indeed lucky. I strive to be that person all the time. The world would be a much better place if all could live with such compassion. By working on ourselves maybe one day that may be possible.

        • The moment we can start feeling our inner light, our whole perspective will start changing. We will feel compassionate towards human beings even if they are doing stupid things. And we will feel immensely joyous, celebrating, even though we don’t have anything to celebrate. It is our life, and whatever becomes of it is our own creation. We cannot disassociate ourselves from what we create, from the way we live, the way we respond.Once we start overflowing with love and blissfulness, we cannot, not even in our dreams, act in a way which is humiliating to another. Because now the other we see is not really other it is part of us.Love is never a relationship and we all mistake it for it in reality love is relating. It is always a river, flowing, unending.


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