Draped in a 5 m length cloth, trying to bring out the best out in me..
Do you accept me now. ?? Society!!! yeah!!! i am talking to you.. A big girl with a dream so resilient for you.. are you happy now that i covered up all my skin in this cloth. Don’t tell me? you still got doubts..?
Are my eyes too furious for you.. Oh! coz you can’t cover them up, you can’t try to disfigure my posture, you can’t do anything about my attitude too.. is that too much for you to watch. .
Let me get this to you straight.. You still gonna watch my dreams flourish under my skin, my imaginations flowing behind those eyes. The signs of being whatever i feel like will always be there..
P.s- you can’t see my dreams , coz you are too busy covering up ego in the name of a respectful life…
Since last evening, i haven’t stopped myself from thinking of how good i look in that saree, And to be very very frank, coming that out of me is a great deal coz i never ever accept if i can ever look beautiful or anything having that sense. any adjective adoring myself has been so hard to come from me since last some years.. All i actually heard was that, i was not enough.
As i was talking about the signs,… the day has been a different one.. on the one hand i woke up with thing feeling of being content to myself.. of being more like a girl that is aceepted.. and then there was an incident that was least thing i would like to encounter….We went to my Mother’s sister house. and i was lot excited to see my young cousins, a girl of 9 years and a boy of 10. Having kids around is like having some moments of complete honesty, truth, innocence and lot more of fun than we actually can get from other people around us and i starve for that happiness.. i starve of there unbiased nature.. Never in this whole world, i want to teach my young sister about how cruel the world works based on their skin tone, never ever want know that there are hell of people who would ask you to do things the way they want , and i never wanted her to know that in the eyes of society her elder sister is not beautiful coz she don’t have the fair skin..
i always wanted her to know me as a sister and she did love me the same… but then in most awful way things come up in your life that you don’t want to encounter.
there was this neighbour beside my mother’s sister house and the lady wanted to meet my mother and me so much. i had no idea, why anyone would like to me so much and won’t show up.. and i just was curious why do they even wanted to meet us anyway.. there wasn’t any connection of what so ever.. So, my sister was sent to their house to call them up.. and she went and came after a while.. and my sister said that lady is busy and won’t be coming.
After a while,my sister said us something which is why this whole blog came up,
she said, ” Mother, that aunty asked me something odd!
and we asked, what it is? .. she said, Aunt asked , ” Whether your sister is of fair complexion or of dark complexion???
I mean out of all the things i could have been introduced about, of all the things i am.. the least you could actually know is my name.. But no,all you want to know is if i am fair person that too from my sister. i wish i could just meet that lady and tell her that i am more than how i look, more than how fat iam, more than my marriage status , more than my dress, more than my hair, my butt, my face…. and believe me more than everything you can see… but that lady is less of a concern..The concern is my sister.. the least thing i ever want to teach her in my life is to judge anyone based on her skintone.i want her her to be hell lot of confident on me and moreover about her.
It was Good statement that she just had to reply that “My sister is dark girl ” and it ws happy because.. she knows who iam.. i wish i could teach the same for other elder people of the my society..
Did you know society??
That i had to run out of words when someone compliment me.. i was so less confident about my being,
Did you know society???
someone has to die every night to go to sleep for a beauty nap. Is that all you aspire for. but you know what? i codemn your judgement , i condemn your cowardness to judge me on my life..
But then their are signs that always help me get out of everything,
In the evening, when My old tuition children came and they seeing me after a year or so seemed like they have got some kind of surprise, some kind of prize seeing me… they were utterly happy to talk to me.. And some said they missed my moments with them , and i have been a good teacher,.. how ironic it was that the lady judged and refused to meet me based on my skin,while before her i was in most mannered outfit with combed hair and, everything set just perfect..
and here stood 10 children infront of whom, i stood in a mesy bun with my skirt and tee mismatched , sweaty face and everything just not perfect.. But then, for them i was just all they wanted to talk about that moment, of how much they enjoyed my presence, my talks, my confidence and most importantly myself as a whole and not just parts..
And it made me work more , absolutely towards the deep end and i know
” Of all th ODDS, i will face, i just have to take up that just one rare EVEN for me.. Coz that’s the wheel of life ” Completely moving round and round and still more of a random good and bad signs throwing at you..
but trust me “you catch the good ones, you always in the race, and if you catch a bad one, don’t worry
coz then, you will be a best learner coming out of a race”” ..
P.s -Dear society, I am becoming more confident, hot and sexy and ” i know it” and remember i i will watch you burn down in flames of your ego and “you know it”.