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have you ever loved someone so deeply
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that it made you feel more alone than
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ever not in a sad way but in a soul
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awakening way like your heart was
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whispering this love will grow but only
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if you become someone who can carry it
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that's the kind of love Rainor Maria
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Rilka understood not the love sold to us
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in fairy tales but the kind that
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transforms you quietly painfully
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beautifully from the inside out rilka
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didn't believe love was about completing
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someone he believed love begins when two
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whole people choose not to lose
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themselves in each other but to walk
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side by side together yet apart he once
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wrote "Love consists in this that two
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solitudes protect and touch and greet
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each other." Let that sink in not two
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people merging into one not codependency
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dressed as romance but two solitudes two
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inner worlds each one vast independent
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full of mystery choosing to greet one
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another with reverence but here's the
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hard truth no one tells you most people
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don't know how to love like that because
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it requires solitude and strength and
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the kind of emotional maturity most of
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us were never taught to cultivate we
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were taught to seek validation to chase
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someone who texts back fast to feel
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complete only when we're chosen but
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Rilka asks us to become the kind of
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person who doesn't need love because
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they've already found something deeper a
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self they've made peace with in solitude
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that kind of person doesn't cling they
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don't demand they don't fall apart when
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love feels distant because they've
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already faced themselves in silence and
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come back stronger rilka's idea of love
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isn't soft and safe it's fierce it's
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sacred and it demands your growth he
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once warned for one human being to love
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another that is perhaps the most
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difficult of all our tasks the work for
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which all other work is but
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preparation pause for a moment are you
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preparing for love or are you escaping
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into it most people seek relationships
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to avoid the silence of being alone but
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Rilka believed real love doesn't begin
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until you've spent time with your own
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soul because how can you love someone
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else fully if you've never sat with the
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parts of yourself you still hide this is
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why he didn't romanticize easy love he
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praised the kind that matures slowly the
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kind that doesn't rush into forever but
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honors space timing and self-becoming he
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wrote to a young poet "Love is at first
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not anything that means merging giving
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over and uniting with another it is a
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high inducement for the individual to
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ripen to become something in himself to
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become world to become world for himself
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for another's sake." In other words
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don't fall in love to lose yourself fall
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in love to become yourself more fully we
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think closeness means constant contact
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but Rilka saw love not in attachment but
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in distance well-h held the quiet spaces
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between two people who trust each other
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enough to grow separately and still
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choose to come back have you ever met
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someone who made you want to become a
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better person that's what Rilka believed
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love should do not fix you not rescue
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you but awaken you to the parts of
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yourself you've neglected and here's
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something beautiful to remember you can
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love someone and still need space you
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can choose someone and still choose
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yourself if that sounds strange it's
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because we've been fed a version of love
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that glorifies merging sacrificing and
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losing ourselves for another person's
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happiness but Rilka's love is different
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it asks "Can you stand alone so that you
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can stand beside another not behind them
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not beneath them but beside them as your
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self that's why solitude isn't the
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opposite of love it's the foundation of
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it in solitude you meet your fears you
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confront your patterns you learn who you
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are when no one is watching and only
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then when your soul is steady can you
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offer real love to someone else not
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because you need them to feel whole but
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because your wholeness now has room to
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hold someone else so if someone ever
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says "I just need space." Don't panic
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sometimes it's in that space that the
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deepest kind of love is nurtured real
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love doesn't always look like constant
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reassurance it looks like trust it looks
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like two people willing to do the hard
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work of being fully themselves and fully
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present with each other it's not always
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easy but it's worth it cuz love like
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this doesn't fade it grows slowly
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quietly faithfully and if you're not
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there yet if you still feel incomplete
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unsure or unworthy that's okay rilka
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would tell you "Be patient toward all
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that is unsolved in your heart and try
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to love the questions themselves
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you don't have to rush into love you can
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become someone who's ready for the kind
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of love that's ready for you so ask
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yourself today are you building a love
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that's loud and needy or one that's
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quiet strong rooted in the courage to
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stand alone the most meaningful love
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won't always chase you but it will grow
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with you and when you're ready not
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perfect but ready it will find you
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you'll know it not by the butterflies
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but by the calm this is how Rainor Maria
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Rilka taught us to love not through
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clinging not through needing but through
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becoming if this resonated with you
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don't keep it to yourself share it
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because someone else out there is
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learning to love better too maybe today
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this was exactly what they needed to
