I’m in some mental trance. I can sit at this desk and stop doing everything I’m doing and be aware that my heart is beating, my blood is flowing, I’m breathing – all inside of me. At the same time that this is all going on, the world outside of myself is moving, too. I hear other people talking, printing things, the air conditioning on blast, doors being closed. I’m mesmerized by my own existence. The simplest things are most fascinating. Events that happen in my life can be amazing but they are always limited because time makes them pass but within my joy and curiosity is eternal.
I’m tired of giving advice. I’m tired of thinking that once I open my mouth people will take what I say and apply it to their lives. Not how it works. Overall I know I am alone. The works of my consciousness are mine and mine only. Everyone gets to this at their own pace. I understand. I have a whole world to explore by myself, I guess.