168+ Best Funny Spongebob Quotes That Make You Think

SpongeBob SquarePants is an American animated television series created by marine biologist and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon.

SpongeBob quotes are so universal and with the situations, references, and words used, SpongeBob is one of animated series that can appeal to adults as well as children and it never gets old.

Without a doubt, characters of SpongeBob SquarePants have amazing iconic quotes that we all still use in our daily language, even when it’s ridiculous. With too many to count, here are some favorite “SpongeBob” quotes, from ones that all fans should know, to ones we use every day.

There are many others such as beautiful Peter Pan quotes, funny Beauty and the Beast quotes, and Yoda quotes on happiness continue to resonate with me not only because of the humor but also due to the life-long lessons and wisdom the characters give.

Hope my favorite quotes from SpongeBob can make you think about life, friendship, trust, love and more. With full of fun and humor, here is a list of the best funniest SpongeBob quotes:

Spongebob SquarePants Quotes To Make You Smile

Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly. – Spongebob

Can I be excused for the rest of my life? – Spongebob

I’m ugly and I’m proud! – Spongebob

F is for friends who do stuff together! – Spongebob

Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. – Squidward

I’m hotter than a hickory smoked sausage! – Sandy

Caller: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: No, this is Patrick.

Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells… smelly. – Mr. Krabs

If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true. – Spongebob

Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb. – Patrick Star

I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors! – Spongebob

I’m ready, I’m ready. – Spongebob

Spongebob: What’s better than serving up smiles? Squidward: being dead or anything else

Everything FUN!

You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory. – SpongeBob

Firmly grasp it in your hand.

Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads. – Spongebob

Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.

Mr. Krabs: I didn’t want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
Spongebob: Am I a pretty girl?

It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say. – Mr. Krabs

-Patrick, I don’t think Wumbo is a real word.
-Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob!

No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change. – Spongebob

The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. – Patrick Star

All I know is fine dining and breathing. – Spongebob

You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one. – Patrick Star

I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!

Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli. – Spongebob

You never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. – Spongebob

Spongebob: “What do you usually do when I’m gone? Patrick: “waiting for you to come back.”

Is Mayonnaise an instrument? – Patrick Star

With imagination, you can be anything you want. – Spongebob

I can’t see my forehead! – Patrick Star

That’s it mister! You just lost your brain privileges! – Plankton

Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face. – Spongebob

F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!

You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.

Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems. – Patrick Star

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end! – Patrick Star

Underrated SpongeBob Quotes That Are Perfect For Instagram Captions

The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time. – Spongebob

Too bad SpongeBob is not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here. – Squidward

Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you. – Sandy Cheeks

Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy. – Plankton

It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!

Wake me up when I care. – Squidward

Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos. – Patrick Star

Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions. – Spongebob

I have no soul. – Squidward

Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it! – Mr. Krabs

You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio! – Squidward

If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright. – Spongebob

-Patrick, you’re a genius!
-Yeah, I get called that a lot.
-What? A genius?
-No, Patrick.

Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.

It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever. – Squidward

Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?” Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.” Patrick:”Ho, Ho,Ho!” Spongebob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!””

You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you. – Plankton

You just CAN’T WAIT for me to die, can you?

Do instruments of torture count?

I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep! – Patrick Star

Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week. – Patrick Star

Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.

SpongeBob: I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…

But it’s my only night to be fancy! – Squidward

Moss always points to civilization. – SpongeBob

Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding! – Patrick Star

Knowledge cannot replace friendship. – Patrick Star

Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.

I might as well sleep for 100 years or so. – Squidward

SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours! – Squidward

Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)

We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else! – Patrick Star

The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. – Spongebob

Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world?
Spongebob: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Sandy Cheeks: I do!
Squidward: I don’t.

This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness. – Spongebob

Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain. – Sandy

Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call “Mom”? SpongeBob: No Patrick, that’s your mother.

See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral. – Pearl Krabs

The Most Hilarious SpongeBob Quotes

We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination. – SpongeBob

Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me. – Patrick Star

Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets. – SpongeBob

Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz. – Patrick Star

I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes. – SpongeBob

Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite! – Plankton

Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…smelly. – Mr. Krabs

A five letter word for happiness…money. – Mr. Krabs

Spongebob: “No, Gary. I like wearing my underwear like this!”

We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request. – Mr. Krabs

I’m a good noodle! – SpongeBob

Patrick: Are they laughing at us?
Spongebob: No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.

Hey Patrick what am I now?
-Uh…stupid?
-No! I’m Texas!
-What’s the difference?

So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one. – Narrator

Squidward: Patrick, don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.

Are you Squidward now? … That’s okay take your time.

Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today! – SpongeBob

Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off. – Spongebob

Three hours later. – Narrator

I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent. – SpongeBob

2000 years later. – Narrator

Too bad that didn’t kill me. – Squidward

SpongeBob: We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. Patrick: Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!

Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma! – Spongebob

Who are you people?! – Patrick Star

SpongeBob: Hi, Kevin. I’m your biggest fan.
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: That’s nice. Security!
SpongeBob: No, no! I’ll do anything you want!
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Go jump off a building.
[SpongeBob jumps off building, returns]
SpongeBob: Anything.
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Punch yourself in the face.
[SpongeBob punches himself with a boxing glove]
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Doesn’t that hurt?
SpongeBob: [Puts on a metal gauntlet with spikes] Do you want it to hurt, Kevin?

Karen, baby, I haven’t felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife! – Plankton

Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty. – SpongeBob

Spongebob: Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be? Patrick: Um… more time for thinking.

I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss. – SpongeBob

Spongebob: “Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird.” Patrick: “No, Spongebob, that’s Italian

There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front. I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!

And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple. – SpongeBob

One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty? – Squidward

His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something! – Plankton

After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along. – Squidward

Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home. – SpongeBob

A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those. – SpongeBob

My pants are on fire!…My underwear is on fire!…I’M ON FIRE! – Mr. Krabs

If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor! – Lord Royal Highness

It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE! – Mr. Krabs

Catchphrases From SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob’s Catchphrases

“I’m ready!”

“Order up!”

“Aye-aye, captain!”

“Barnacles!”

“Tartar sauce!”

“Fish paste!”

“Ah, shrimp.”

“No problemo.”

Patrick Star’s Catchphrases

“Good morning, Krusty Krew!”

“Finland!”

“Duh…”

Squidward’s Catchphrases

“Everybody’s a critic.”

“How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?”

“Oh, puh-lease.”

“Whatever.”

“I never thought I’d say this, but…”/”I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…”

“Oh, My aching tentacles.”

Krabs’s Catchphrases

“Money!”

“Ahoy!”

“Plankton!”

“Sweet mother of Pearl!”/”Mother of Pearl!”

“Me money!”

“Boyo!”/”Hey, boyo!”

“Come spend your money here!”

“David H. Jones!/Sweet Davey Jones!”

Plankton’s Catchphrases

“Krabs!”

“Karen, my computer wife…”/”Computer wife…”

“Karen! Help!”

“I went to college!”

“Yes!”

“I win! I win!”

“Ouch.”

“Ow!”

“I will destroy all of you!”

“I command…”/”order you…”

“Well, This stinks.”