33+ Best Red Forman Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Reginald Albert “Red” Forman is a fictional character on the Fox sitcom That ’70s Show, portrayed by Kurtwood Smith. Profoundly inspirational Red Forman quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

Famous Red Forman Quotes

Steven, I’ve come to think of you as a son. So I want to give you some honest, heart-felt advice. Get your head out of your *ss. – Red Forman

Dumbass – Red Forman

Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I’m sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit! – Red Forman

You know all that rent money you’ve been giving us? I’ve been putting it all in a bank account for your college fees… or bail. – Red Forman

I love that woman with a FIERY PASSION…that consumes my soul! – Red Forman

When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun. But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass. – Red Forman

Son, you don’t have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you … is because you’re a dumbass. Now fix it. – Red Forman

His head looks like a poodle’s *ss. – Red Forman

Kitty: Here you go Red, Belgian waffles. Eric: What’s so Belgian about them? Red: They crumbled at the hands of the Nazis. – Red Forman

You’re a dumbass. Now fix it. – Red Forman

Bob’s just kinda goofy, like a cartoon. It’s kinda like living next to Elmer Fudd. – Red Forman

Damn kids today. They wouldn’t know responsibility if it walked up and bit them in the *ss. – Red Forman

Eric, didn’t I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know, it’s difficult to hear with your head up your *ss. – Red Forman

That’s your own brain comprehending its own stupidity. – Red Forman

Red: Are you on dope? Are you? Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There’s counseling, hospitalization— Red: My foot kicking your *ss. – Red Forman

So you’re too proud to take her back? And what do you have to be so proud of? You’re not an athlete, the only smart thing about you is your mouth… and just look at you! – Red Forman

If the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your *ss, you say, ‘Thank You. And God Bless America.’ – Red Forman

I just wanna say…when my time comes, I want to be buried face down, so that anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my *ss! – Red Forman

I am not loving anyone, I am not legally required too. – Red Forman

Eric: Hey…leggo my Eggo. Red: Hey…leggo my foot up your *ss! – Red Forman

Ah good, all the half-wits are here. – Red Forman

The last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me. – Red Forman

Michael Kelso scored higher than you on the test? This is the kid I saw super-glue his hand to his face. – Red Forman

Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall… Red: Eric, for God’s sakes, that’s no language for a woman to hear! – Red Forman

Kitty: Red, Do you think I am smart? Red: Oh, this is what we’re gonna do today,we’re gonna fight? – Red Forman

Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other. – Red Forman

Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner? Red: Eric, again? I can’t afford to feed your friend. I can’t even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to! – Red Forman

Eric: Uh, well, I believe that everyone’s political opinion is valid and worth hearing. Red: Well, that’s, that’s perfect Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America. – Red Forman

Responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted. – Red Forman

I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your *sses. – Red Forman

You morons just hung a vacancy sign on your *sses and my foot’s looking for a room! – Red Forman

Well, that’s, that’s perfect Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America. – Red Forman

Eric: I’m… sleepwalking? Red: And I’m about to be sleepkicking your *ss. – Red Forman

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