41+ Best Red Forman Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Reginald Albert “Red” Forman is a fictional character on the Fox sitcom That ’70s Show, portrayed by Kurtwood Smith. Profoundly inspirational Red Forman quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

Famous Red Forman Quotes

So does a swift kick in the ass. Red Forman

All families are embarrassing, and if  they’re not embarrassing than they’re dead

Kelso, you make Eric look like Einstein. Red Forman

Life’s too short to spend it with people who annoy you

Yelling is the only part of being a father that I enjoy Red Forman

Touch him, and I’ll kill you in your sleety

What are you going to put on your Resume  dumbass? Red Forman

When my time comes, I want to be buried face down so anyone who doesn’t like me can kiss my ass.

The reason bad things happen to you is because you’re a dumbass. Red Forman

I’m not doing anything else for men today

I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses. Red Forman

Well, I’d like to help, but Not as much as i’d like not to.

Well, that’s, that’s perfect, Eric. Use that line when you’re up for Miss America. Red Forman

Oh honey, you’re so wrong it makes me want to cry a little.

Thanks for the help. You seem to have a natural talent for handling luggage. Red Forman

I’m not loving anyone that I’m not legally required to

Let me get this straight Donna told you she wanted to get back together, and you said NO? Red Forman

Red, standing in the corner by yourself and muttering Dumbass doesn’t count as catching up 

If the government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say ‘thank you, and God bless America! Red Forman

I’d get up, but my back’s still sore from the knife you stuck in it.

That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity. Red Forman

I don’t even think I have feelings

We’re all gonna go to church, and we’re gonna have a damn nice Sunday. Red Forman

You’re not actually happy, You’re just too numb from your hellish life to feel the pain

You mean with that ungrateful daughter, our dumbass son, and that drunk foreign kid? Red Forman

Oh, is that what we’re going to do today? We’re gonna fight?

If you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass so hard, your nose will bleed. Red Forman

Well that’s what you get for going out and drinking. Maybe one day you’ll learn to say at home and drink, like me.

You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses and my foot’s looking for a room! Red Forman

The first rule to being a man is you’re gonna spend your life doing crap you don’t want to do

Eric, didn’t I tell you to wash up for dinner? I know it’s difficult to hear with your head up your ass. Red Forman

Fear me! All fear Whipped cream Head

Without our government, you’d be stuck in Siberia now, sucking the juice from a rotten commie potato! Red Forman

That Hitler seemed like a real cranky bear.

So, this is how an immature, engaged, high school dumbass, with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges. Red Forman

Responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted

When My Time Comes, I Want To Be Buried Face Down, So That Anybody That Doesn’t Like Me Can Kiss My Ass. Red Forman

Oh, honey. Honey you just you just gotta shut up!

Oh, would you stop! Luke Skywalker this, Luke Skywalker that, I’m sick and tired of hearing about that little fruit! Red Forman

Responsible people don’t go around getting their nipples twisted