Author: artsyexplorer

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Sometimes you need to distance yourself from people. You need to cut ties if they are no longer positive features in your life. Sometimes those people are tied to you through blood and they played a huge part in your life as you grew into an adult. Or they are friends who no longer provide…

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I’m having a fight with myself, beating myself up until I’m bruised and weak.  I’m battling the recent constant thoughts that I’m a second rate woman. I’m going on other people’s facebook pages who I deem to be more attractive and I’m looking at their photos and wishing I could be more like them. Less…

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I can think back to when I was a little girl, around about 7 and I was sat at a table with my friends in the canteen at school and they all had finished their lunches. I heard one say “shall we go?” and another looked at me and said “sorry, *insert my name here*”…

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At the start of the week I had lost it. I felt like I had lost everything I used to have. My youth, my slim figure, my potential, my hope. I have been worrying about my future constantly for over a week, even when I wasn’t directly thinking about it I felt I nagging, aching…

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It’s hard to practice what you preach sometimes. This week I have felt incredibly envious of a younger woman because I didn’t feel like I could match up to her. My partner used to have a crush on this woman who is a friend of his and I noticed this when I met her and…

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On Friday I spent the day doing enrolment for the college I worked at and tying up loose ends. It was coming up to 4, I popped out to have a walk and break and I came back in. I saw that people were hanging around the office, not particularly unsual, I walked over to…

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After another night of erratic sleep I’ve decided to look at my personality type a bit more this morning. A while ago I got called an introvert by someone who’s known me for a very long time though not that well as they are one of my best friend’s boyfriends. If I’m honest I was…

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Last Tuesday I left work with my friend and as we spoke about our work frustrations in town a butterfly landed on my head. A good omen? I hope so. I then headed to meet my boyfriend for our burger date. We chatted and I enjoyed my mushroom and halloumi burger very much. We then…

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I’ve always thought I was a good judge of people. I went to Northern Ireland with boyfriend and from what he had told me I had a few prejudgements of some of the people in his life. I hadn’t met them yet but I had an idea of what they would be like in my…

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I’m not where I thought I’d be at this time in my life. When I envisaged the future I thought I’d be doing a job which was leading to an amazing career in the arts, living in my own flat or house and maybe even married, though I was never to sure about that one.…