I was unable to control my mind in the last few days. When I sat quiet and participated in the loud fun at the office, my mind was louder than bombs. I have my best friends around and I always had an option to tell them what is going on… but something stopped me from doing that. I asked myself “why?”. Today I think I should share the answer for that question…
You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s life ahead of your own and think that counts as love… I think Stephen Chbosky (author of ‘The Perks of Being A Wallflower‘) got a point here. The harsh realisation that I had to accept myself was the same… that I don’t own anybody. I had a time in my life when I wanted someone to carry my problems and find a solution for me. I counted that is love or friendship. Then at a point, I had to see and accept that nobody cares about me as much as I do. Initially, I tried to count the number people who would call me best friend and be there by my side. But life has changed a lot in past two years. Many people came, many people left, a few stayed, I fought for a few, a few fought for me… As a result, I accepted the fact that we all live for our little life aspirations.. or “for our little infinity” according to John Green (author of ‘The Fault in Our Stars’).
There was a time I couldn’t accept it… to grieve that I am too lost to be myself for not having anybody around. Today I am laying on my bed and writing this post with a different perspective on that same topic. I call it freedom. Freedom to be what I am and, not to prove anybody what I am doing. It is not about being an introvert but being myself. I understand that there are a few things for which, I should not be a burden to someone. Before a year I thought that it is called ‘lying to my friends’. But today I realise that what if I am able to handle my own problems and find solutions by myself and live a happy life with people around me…Luckily I have a few bonds I share everything. But ‘everything’ doesn’t always mean “everything”… I am old enough to face the world… Life taught me that I have enough potential to handle my own problems and to stop worrying about the same.
We don’t own anybody. Nobody owns us too. When you start to enjoy that freedom, you can fly beyond your dreams. There was a time I stopped myself for many people. I learned that the only thing that matters is being ‘unstoppable’. All I had to do was being myself.. and not change myself for anybody. Life is a one-time chance, never let yourself down on anything. Dream big and work for it. Be there for who need you without expecting anything back. The only thing that you should do is to trust yourself..! You can!
“What if I fall?”
“My darling, what if you fly!”
Dedicated to all who think they lost their dreams & the people they loved, those who put down by others, who got bullied by the crowd, who think they are not good enough, who are struggling with diseases and all who cry about small and big hurdles of life… Nothing is forever. So as your worries… Learn to fight and win a big smile on your face..!