Tag: depression

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I am entering into a phase of recovery (ie the beginning…) where I am doggedly determined to embark upon this road and make change. I am going to do it. Despite yesterday’s fuck-ups… The dialogue in my head is usually critical and unkind, mean and hateful – you idiot, can’t believe you did that, who do…




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I may not be a dog person, but I am acutely aware of the joy, love and hope a beloved pet can bring. During the worst of my depression last year, I had nothing left to give. I had no energy, no will, desire or hope. I couldn’t care for, support or offer a listening ear…




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When I have a cold, it’s obvious I’m sick. And when it goes away, it’s obvious it’s gone. When I have depression, it’s not obvious to anyone – even me. And when it goes away, how am I going to know? It was clear as a summer’s day when my depression hit rock bottom. I…




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BayArt - New Perspective on Life
Apr 19

The Unknown

This post may contain no redeeming qualities, as it will be my outlet for being profane, crass and downright stupid. Continue at your own risk. Just kidding (maybe). This article isn’t for normal people. For whatever reason, you clicked on this post and began reading, which is how we got to this point in time.…




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Apr 18

Broke

I love, Have loved, Broken things. All my life. Cars. Furniture. Houses. People. My childhood family Was IS A broken thing. My father was definitely a broken thing. My husband is, unfortunately, a broken thing. I don’t know many people who aren’t broken In some spectacular fashion. The problem with broken is– You can try…




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I feel like the things I want aren’t big or extravagant. I don’t really ask for much and what I do ask for I feel I should get it with no problem hands down, but I don’t. Ideally my life could just be so much better. I am unhappy in every aspect of my life…




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There is an association between deprivation and mental illness. NHS prescription data showed by Exosal (an analyst company) that in Blackpool, they had the highest prescription of antidepressants 2.11, previously issued per person in 2016, compared with the national average of 1.16.  Sunderland and East Lindsay came second and third and were approximately 1.99 prescriptions…




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Apr 14

Memories

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant. – Salvador Dali You know what keeps me up at night? What keeps me tossing, turning and pacing back and forth in my room? “The realization that…




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Apr 13

Weary

Today I want to sleep. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. To luxuriate in the endless bliss of nothingness. I want to be free from physical pain. Free from exhaustion. I don’t want to feel worried or anxious or guilty or afraid. I don’t want to be fat and old and…




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Ownership is an illusion; an ephemeral concept, a time-bomb. The hardest life lesson to learn and accept is that when you own something, it also owns you. This is doesn’t only fall into our personal lives, but our professional ones, too. This is why I never understood the debate between “self-hosted WordPress vs. WordPress.com” No…