Tag: eating disorder

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Since I fell apart last year, people keep asking, Are you okay? How can I help? If you need anything, just ask! They are genuine offers but I never know how to respond so just say I’m fine and don’t need anything. Not because I’m a martyr but because I genuinely have no idea. When I’m socialising…




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As soon as I make a little bit of progress – and find a few moments of hope and belief – I seem determined to crash and burn, just to prove to myself recovery is either impossible, or impossibly difficult. What happened? Who gives a shit – same old, same old. But if there’s one…




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I am coming to the end of an eight week online course for recovery from binge eating and/or bulimia. I am about to commence an eight week online course for transformational writing and author awakening. Both cost money. Neither will return any money to me. So their intrinsic value is about personal growth, not financial…




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Jun 11

Yes!!

Day 30 of the challenge. I made it! In case you missed it, my challenge was to write for 30 days about my vision for freedom and the reason why I want to recover from an eating disorder. I’ve been a tad higgledy piggledy, but I got here. While I confess not every moment of every…




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Jun 10

Recovering

I am recovering. I am not recovered… I am in recovery. This I believe. This I know. My recovery course is ending and while I would love to say I am recovered, that was never going to happen. I can’t recover from 50 years of disordered eating in the space of eight weeks. Unfortunately! Many…




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Jun 9

Eat

I have to eat food. I have to eat food – six times a day. SIX TIMES A DAY!! Fuck… Well to be honest – I don’t HAVE to – it is a choice I’m prepared to make. I am generally very obedient (see grandma!! I really am!!), so if say I’ll do something, I…




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At the start of this 30 day challenge I was determined to write consistently about recovery and freedom – unfortunately I quickly became bored and disillusioned and haven’t been entirely consistent with that particular task. I have written every single day! But it’s not always uber cheery. And part of me certainly resents the necessity…




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I’ve been in a consistently downward spiral of late. Many people I know in “real” life are now reading this blog, so I need to word things carefully … A few things are coming to an end and there are some changes I’ve been working towards making, all of which lead to increasing anxieties. The recovery…




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I’m away for a night visiting friends. Friends I’ve known so long we’ve become sisters 🙂 This is a quick trip so we can start forward planning for a trip to Europe in 2018. Yes. A trip to Europe in 2018. Cool huh?! We’re thinking at this stage maybe a week in Paris, a week…




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Jun 2

Nearly…

Today I had a desperate, desperate urge to restrict. It was really important to me. I nearly did. I ate breakfast. Then I ate nothing all day. At the end of the day I had a moment of sanity and ate a late dinner. Meat and vegetables. Nutritious foods. I nearly starved myself today. I didn’t.…