Tag: eating disorder

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I am writing my story. Not here – not right now. But on my own and in my own time. It is the project I choose to do in association with the Author Awakening Adventure. As part of the coursework, we choose an angel to watch and guide us as we travel the long, lonely…

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My recovery is not going at the speed some people would like. I’m too slow. Not making enough progress. I’m not doing enough work or making changes quickly enough. Apparently. It is absolutely true that many people who commence recovery – from anything – progress at a faster rate. They make changes and those changes…

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When I’m not going forward in recovery, I’m perfectly happy to accept sideways. Because moving sideways is not going backwards. I have recently spent the most glorious three days in a lovely little holiday house – big hikes through the bush, lots of champagne and chocolate, late nights lying in front of a roaring fire…

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Self-loathing has been a struggle of mine since middle school, a side effect of the new condition I began experiencing called depression. Later on, at sixteen, I developed both anxiety and orthorexia. This cocktail of mental illnesses leaves a bitter aftertaste only I can sense. My name is carved roughly into that wine glass, a…

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Well ladies and gentlemen – and those who do not confidently or comfortably fit into traditional categories – my thanks and gratitude for your ongoing patience with my intermittent pity parties. They’re boring and dull to read I have no doubt. But from my end of the equation, they are magically cathartic. The past few…

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So I’ve gone backwards. Slipping and sliding and rolling around. Bingeing and purging every day again. Feeling shit and stupid. I know it’s my responsibility – my choice. I can turn this back around any time I want to. Why don’t I want to? Everything we do in life, we do because it’s the thing…

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Since I fell apart last year, people keep asking, Are you okay? How can I help? If you need anything, just ask! They are genuine offers but I never know how to respond so just say I’m fine and don’t need anything. Not because I’m a martyr but because I genuinely have no idea. When I’m socialising…

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As soon as I make a little bit of progress – and find a few moments of hope and belief – I seem determined to crash and burn, just to prove to myself recovery is either impossible, or impossibly difficult. What happened? Who gives a shit – same old, same old. But if there’s one…

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I am coming to the end of an eight week online course for recovery from binge eating and/or bulimia. I am about to commence an eight week online course for transformational writing and author awakening. Both cost money. Neither will return any money to me. So their intrinsic value is about personal growth, not financial…

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Jun 11

Yes!!

Day 30 of the challenge. I made it! In case you missed it, my challenge was to write for 30 days about my vision for freedom and the reason why I want to recover from an eating disorder. I’ve been a tad higgledy piggledy, but I got here. While I confess not every moment of every…