1. Get over yourself – If you are easily offended, always have to be right, think everybody is talking about you or can’t laugh at yourself, chances are you need to get over yourself (like I did). Lighten up, loosen up and let go of your ego a little.
2. Forgive – forgiveness is a gift to yourself. It doesn’t say what was said or done to you was right, but it frees you from being held back by someone else’s behaviour. Unforgiveness leads to bitterness which is poison to your soul. It contaminates your present and limits your future. Forgiveness, even of yourself, is a critical (and yes sometimes very difficult) step towards freedom.
3. Gratitude – The attitude of gratitude is a powerful thing. It is the journey of becoming a grateful person, which is beyond just expressing gratitude. Write three new things you are grateful for every night and over time you change what your mind searches for from negative to positive.
4. Focus on your BE – Our society generally has a HAVE-DO-BE focus. eg. When I HAVE more time, I will be able to DO more with my kids and then BECOME a better dad. Or when I HAVE more money, I will be able to DO more things for others and then BECOME a generous person. We need to shift this around and become BE-DO-HAVE people. Decide who you want to become, then take the action needed, which will give you the results you want to have.
5. Give more to others – We are quite a self-absorbed society at times and shifting our focus onto others is another great step toward greater freedom. When you walk into a room ask yourself how can I add value to others here today, instead of what can I get from others here today. It’s a simple shift of focus. Sharon Pearson from the Coaching Institute says, “Help others discover and reach their dreams, and yours will take care of themselves”.
6. Live above the line – above the line thinking is where we take 100% responsibility for our choices and behaviour. We own it, deal with it and create the change we want to create. Below the line thinking is where we blame others, make excuses and live in denial. Above the line thinking impacts your behaviour, decisions, relationships and awareness in some incredibly positive ways.
7. Learn to love yourself – Self love, self belief and self worth is very different to self-absorption. Our internal beliefs about who we are dictate much of our capacity to love ourselves in a healthy way. Limiting beliefs that have been set internally stop us from being truly free. These limiting beliefs are not truth, but they carry the same power over our lives as truth. Self awareness around these beliefs is a great step towards greater freedom, and changing them is massive.
8. Listen to your self talk – Research tells us that we say a minimum of 3000 things to ourselves everyday, and that 80% of these are negative. Becoming aware of your self talk, listening to the themes and the consistent negatives, is a brilliant step forward. Once aware, we can then begin to change and reframe the things we say to ourselves which will create incredible change. A lot of our negative self talk connects to our limiting internal beliefs. That’s an insight worth exploring.
9. Discover the spiritual – I believe we are spiritual beings, and the often neglected part of our journey is our spirituality. This can include things like reflection, contemplative thinking, connecting with nature, solitude and silence, meditation or prayer. Get more connected to your spirit and soul. Divert daily – withdraw weekly – abandon annually.
10. Discover your unique purpose – this is a powerful step toward greater freedom. I have been told that less than 10% of people discover their unique purpose and then only about 8% of them actually live it out. That’s a small percentage of something I consider to be extraordinarily powerful in becoming free. This is what one of my clients said when she discovered and articulated her unique purpose. “To read the statement of my life’s purpose out loud was one of the most profound moments I have ever experienced. I was spilling with emotion. It vibrated from the most authentic molecules of my being.”
Brett White – founder Be Leadership, www.beleadership.net