I love my mom, and I think that’s something I should tell her more often. I should stop taking her for granted, and you should stop doing the same thing with your mom, if you’re blessed enough to still have one on this earth. Why this emotional post ? Well, seven years ago, my mom had a breast cancer scare. She went in for a mammogram, and the doctors found a shadow. Though it turned out to be nothing, we were all pretty shook up. I was 14 at the time, and she was 42. Now, I’m 21 and she’s 49, and the fear is back. Last year, she went to see a doctor for pain in her breast, and we found out that she has a high risk for breast cancer. She was put on a special diet, and was told the risk was due to her having a plugged duct in her armpit area, and that her lymph nodes were full of cancer causing toxins. The solution? To immediately start cleanses, stop wearing deodorant, and a ton of other things. She did everything she was told, and we were hopeful.
Then we got the news last April that my mom’s sister was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, the same thing my mom is at such a risk for. We’ve watched my aunt pale and shrink under the administrations of chemo, radiation, surgery, and more chemo and radiation. At this point, we can hardly recognize her, and we all know it’s only a matter of time before she slips away. I don’t want to see that happen to my mom.
Last night, my mom got her test results back. They were bad. Her rick for cancer has increased, not decreased, and the doctors are trying to figure out what to do. Moms are the strongest, bravest, most courageous women you will ever meet, so when mine looked me in the eye and said, “I’m scared. I’m really scared,” I felt like puking. Me, a wet-behind-the-ears kid, hearing my mother say she was scared, that she was frightened she was going to get breast cancer and have the same fate as her sister… I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to feel. How does one comfort someone who is possibly facing a death sentence that is full of pain?
This is my mom. My mom. I can’t even tell you how I feel right now. I’m – we’re trying to trust God, trying to believe that this is all in His control, but it’s so hard. I’m so scared right now. I’m afraid that when my wedding day comes (whenever that might be) that there will be an empty spot on the pew next to my dad, because my mom will be gone. I’m afraid she won’t be here to come visit me in L.A. after I finally move, that she won’t be a great-grandma. I’m afraid of so many things. And if that’s the fear that I have, then what is my mom feeling?
This is not normally the type of blog that I write, and I hope to God I don’t have to write another, but I’m writing this as a way to remind myself and everyone who’s reading this to appreciate the people in your life. Not just your mom, or your dad, but everyone. You don’t know how much time they, or even you have left, so cherish it. Spend time with them making as many happy memories as you can, and let them know you love them. Hug them, kiss them, call them, visit them. Don’t take them for granted, please. Forget petty arguments and senseless fights, leave behind what might be between you, and love with an open heart. Don’t ever take someone for granted.
And, do me a favor today. If your mom is still on this earth, please, tell her that you love her. Tell her why, and tell her what prompted you to do so. Hug her tight, kiss her cheek, and promise me that you will never again take that amazing woman for granted. Don’t wait until she’s gone to realize how much you love her, how much she means to you. Don’t wait, I beg you. Don’t take her for granted.