50+ Best Funny Business Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Business is the activity of buying and selling goods and services. Profoundly inspirational funny business quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

If you’re searching for really funny quotes and best funny christmas quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of inspiring funny brother quotes, powerful comedy quotes and famous funny teamwork quotes.

Famous Funny Business Quotes

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. — Joseph Stilwell

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. — Sloan Wilson

If at first you don’t succeed, try management. Indecision is the key to flexibility. If at first you don’t succeed, take the tax loss. — Kirk Kirkpatrick

You don’t want another Enron? Here’s your law: If a company, can’t explain, in one sentence, what it does… it’s illegal. — Lewis Black

The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity. — Peter Drucker

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again. — William Edward Hickson

In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later. — Harold Geneen

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. — Mark Twain

Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. — Vince Lombardi

Nobody has tried to swallow us since I’ve been here. I think they are afraid how we would taste. — Steve Jobs

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. — David Brinkley

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. — Quentin Crisp

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. — Doug Larson

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. — Steven Wright

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. — Quentin Crisp

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. — Charles Barkley

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. — Bertrand Russell

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. — Dave Barry

Those proud of keeping an orderly desk never know the thrill of finding something that they thought irretrievably lost. — Helen Exley

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. — Joseph Stilwell

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. — David Letterman

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. — Bill Gates

Funny business, a woman’s career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you’ll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It’s one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman. Sooner or later, we’ve got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we’ve had or wanted. — Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Business is the most exciting game. — Max Aitken, Lord Beaverbrook

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. — Steven Wright

The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it. — George Bernard Shaw

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. — Henry Ford

If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good. — Bill Gates

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable. — Seneca the Younger

Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. — Howard Aiken

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. — George Bernard Shaw

A company is known by the people it keeps. — Will Rogers

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train. — Joan Rivers

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. — Peter Drucker

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it’s somebody else’s secretary, fine. — Barry Goldwater

A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. — Henry Ford

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. — Aristotle

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. — Robert A. Heinlein

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame. — Sam Ewing

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. — Warren Buffett

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment. — Scott Adams

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. — Zig Ziglar

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. — Lewis Grizzard

Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you. — Steven Tyler

If at first you don’t succeed, try hard work. — William Feather

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? — Kin Hubbard

Due to budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. — Robert Townsend

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked. — Warren Buffett