62+ Best Funny Coffee Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Coffee is a brewed drink prepared from roasted coffee beans, the seeds of berries from certain Coffea species. Inspirational funny coffee quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

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Famous Funny Coffee Quotes

As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? – Cassandra Clare

Some of the world’s most effective thoughts happen over a brew of morning’s coffee – Prabhukrishna

What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup. – Henry Rollins

Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan

Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever. – David Letterman

I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless. – Napoleon Bonaparte

funny coffee quotes

Coffee is a language in itself – Jackie Chan

I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community. – Howard Schultz

People don’t stop eating, and they don’t stop drinking coffee. – Magic Johnson

May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short. – Unknown

Coffee keeps me going until it’s time for wine. – Unknown

When traveling with someone, take large dose of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee. – Helen Hayes

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. – Stephanie Piro

He was my cream, and I was his coffee. And when you poured us together, it was something. – Josephine Baker

Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better. – Justina Chen

Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility. -Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir

It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. – Donna A. Favors

The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks. – James Mackintosh

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. – Abraham Lincoln

I could smell myself awake with that coffee. – Jaesse Tyler

Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and sweet as love.- Turkish proverb

But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. New York has great water for coffee. – David Lynch

Coffee first. Schemes later. – Leanna Renee Hieber

The second cup of coffee is never as good as the first. – Theodore Roosevelt

Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. – Fran Drescher

I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee. – Carly Simon

I can’t imagine a day without coffee. I can’t imagine! – Howard Schultz

To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions. – Hugh Jackman

I judge a restaurant by the bread and the coffee. – Burt Lancaster

Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world. – Thomas Jefferson

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat. – J.S. Bach

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning. – Mae West

Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second. – Edward Abbey

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self. – Terry Pratchett

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility. – Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir

The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Black coffee must be strong and very hot; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all. – Andre Simon

Coffee was a food in that house, not a drink. – Patricia Hampl

A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray. – Marcia Carrington

No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils. – Henry Ward Beecher

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment. – Agatha Christie

I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up. – Megan Mullally

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. -Earl Wilson

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. – Lewis Black

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee. – Terri Guillemets

The coffee was so strong it snarled as it lurched out of the pot. – Betty MacDonald

Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat. – Johann Sebastian Bach

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. – Alphonse Allais

Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. – David Lynch

I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee. – Clark Gable

I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume. – John William Van Druten

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. – Earl Wilson

No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for Before Coffee. – Cherise Sinclair

I don’t see the point in caffeine without coffee. Or coffee without caffeine, for that matter. – Robyn Schneider

Given enough coffee I could rule the world. – Terry Pratchett

There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee. – Rian Aditia

It turned out people truly did cry into their coffee cups. – Jodi Picoult

The coffee is prepared in such a way that it makes those who drink it witty: at least there is not a single soul who, on quitting the house, does not believe himself four times wittier that when he entered it. – Charles de Secondat Montesquieu

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical. – Jonathan Swift

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