Morning is the period of time from sunrise to noon. Reading funny good morning quotes is the great way to start your day.
Let have a good joke in morning to brighten up your day, grab a lot of positivity in your life and make sure that you do not let anything hinder you from having a good day.
A beautiful morning can simply be made by doing simple things like going through uplifting literature like quotes, sayings and among others. In most cases, how you start your day is very fundamental because it set the mood for the rest of the day.
Here subcategories of funny good morning quotes and jokes:
Inspirational Funny Good Morning Quotes
I get up every morning and it’s going to be a great day. You never know when it’s going to be over, so I refuse to have a bad day.
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. – Marcus Aurelius
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.
Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. – Glen Cook
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. – Mark Twain
Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. – Ursula Le Guin
When reality and your dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off. – Crystal Woods
Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon. – Tony Smite
Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield. – Catherynne Valente
Good morning is a contradiction of terms. – Jim Davis
I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. – James Lileks
Below are funny good morning quotes with images that will surely make your day. But before quotes, here some jokes and funny sayings because laughter is the best medicine, so be sure you get your daily dose.
Good Morning Jokes To Start The Say
Here are the funniest jokes to have good morning:
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
Why did the morning coffee never talk to the herbal drinks? – Because they weren’t really his cup of tea.
What do you call a radio that only works in the morning? – An AM radio.
If you’re feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed. It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What do lobsters drink in the morning? Claw-fee!
How does the ocean say good morning? It waves!
“I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”
“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.'”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They’re relentless.”
“I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.”
“Why can’t we have racism that’s ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, ‘Those Chinese people, they can fly! You know about the Puerto Ricans… they’re made of candy!'”
“A man walks into a chemist’s and says, ‘Can I have a bar of soap, please?’ The chemist says, ‘Do you want it scented?’ And the man says, ‘No, I’ll take it with me now.'”
“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream.’ But I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.”
“It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.”
“What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked.”
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'”
“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.”
You can also read Essential Good Morning Quotes and Blessings with Image.
And many others
“I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said, ‘One minute I’m on the phone.'” – Alan Carr
“Ain’t no pickpocket trying to steal my suitcase. It could be an expensive laptop computer or it could be the end of their life. It’s too much of a gamble.” – Imran Yusuf
“Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner.” – Milton Jones
“With stand-up in Britain, what you have to do is bloody swearing. In Germany, we don’t have to swear. Reason being, things work.” – Henning Wehn
“The first coherent line ever spoken was: ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.'” – Eddie Izzard
“The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.” – Demetri Martin
“I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting.’ So we stopped playing chess.” – Matt Kirshen
“I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.” – Nick Helm
“I’ve written a letter to the Royal Mail to complain about my post being stolen. To make sure they see it, I’ve put it inside a birthday card.” – Gary Delaney
Morning Jokes Of The Day
What do you call a radio that just works in the morning? An AM radio.
How does coffee usually help in the morning? It makes people coffeedent.
Have you heard about a man who told his family every morning that he was going jogging but never did? It was a running joke.
Did you hear about the man that got hit by the very same bike every single morning? It’s a vicious cycle.
Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from? It eventually dawned on him.
What’s the color of the sun when it rises in early morning? It’s rose.
What would you call having mushrooms every day in the morning? It’s what champignons eat.
What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning? It becomes emptea.
What does Iron Man say every morning when he stands in front of the magic mirror? He says, “Mirror, mirror on my wall, who is the ferrous of us all?”
Why do birds always sing in the morning? Because they don’t go to work.
Which superhero delivers the morning papers? It’s Newspaperman.
What does a pastry chef say to himself in the morning every day? “I’ll be making a lot of dough today.”
How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee? Depresso.
What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning? Resistance Training!
Funny Good Morning Quotes To Get Your Day Started
A great way to start your day is by reading funny good morning quotes with images. Sometimes, morning can be hard, especially if you were not able to get adequate sleep. It can be hard to work or do your daily chores without having enough rest. But it doesn’t mean that your entire day should be ruined. You should be thankful for the day and thankful quotes will be a reminder.
Do not let a day pass without being productive, grab a lot of positivity with good morning pictures in your life and make sure that you do not let anything hinder you from having a good day. Below are funny good morning pictures that will surely make your day.
There are many ways of maximizing your happiness and somewhere on the list is having a friend. To show your appreciation, send bff quotes randomly. These funny good morning quotes with images spread cheer and a smile.
To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work.
Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.” – Kristen Chandler
Some days you just have to create your own sunshine.
“Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.” – Punit Ghadge
You have to get up every morning and tell yourself I can do this.
“Everyone should experience a sunrise at least once a day.” – Phil Dunphy
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.” – Moss Hart
When you wake up in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive to breathe, to think, to love and to enjoy.
“There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, ‘Good morning, God,’ and the other is to say, ‘Good God, morning’!” – Fulton J. Sheen
“Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” – Kurt Cobain
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. – Robert Heinlein
Each day you wake up you have a choice. You can have a good day or you can have a bad day, so you might as well have a good one.
“Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.” – Rachel Caine
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee…
“I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.” – Jarod Kintz
“The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.” – Dorothy Parker
Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.
“I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.” –Lewis Black
I never wake up in the morning and wonder why I am here. I wake up and wonder why I am not making here better.
“Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” – David Lynch
If your eyes hurt after drinking coffee, you have to take the spoon out of the cup.
“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” – Jean Kerr
“My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.” – Willie Geist
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
“Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.” – William Feather
“It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.” – H.G. Wells
I got up one morning and couldn’t find my socks, so I called Information. She said, “Hello, Information.” I said, “I can’t find my socks.” She said, “They’re behind the couch.” And they were! – Steven Wright
“Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it.” – Richard Whately
“Mornings are almost clean slates. I say almost because the residue of yesterdays is sometimes stuck on them.” – Medeia Sharif
“You feel a little older in the morning. By noon I feel about 55.” – Bob Dole
“I woke up this morning, and I still don’t believe I won the Daytona 500.” – Dale Earnhardt
“There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” – Henry David Thoreau
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” – Groucho Marx
“I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out…”
“I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” – Benjamin Franklin
“The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’” – Will Rogers
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.” – Mitch Hedberg
“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?’ I said, ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’” – Steven Wright
“Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There’s a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning.” – Bill Gates
“I have a great deal of company in the house, especially in the morning when nobody calls.” – Henry David Thoreau
“I drink coffee for your protection…”
“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.” – Kevin Hearne
“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“A morning coffee is my favorite way of starting the day, settling the nerves so that they don’t later fray.” – Marcia Carrington
“It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.” – Colin Powell
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra
“If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‘President Can’t Swim.’” – Lyndon B. Johnson
“In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog.” – Leslie Connor
“Morning not only forgives, it forgets.” – Marty Rubin
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.” – James Marsden
“That’s the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they’d be like, ‘Yeah, big deal. I’d eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you’re pulling down.’” – Jim Carrey
“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.” – Ray Bradbury
“My father-in-law gets up at 5 o’clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don’t know why there’s this big rush to do this.” – Jeff Foxworthy
“The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.” – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“Somebody said to me this morning, ‘To what do you attribute your longevity?’ I don’t know. I mean, I couldn’t have planned my life out better. By all accounts, I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I’ve lived the last 30 years!” – Ozzy Osbourne
“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook
“Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day.” – Seth MacFarlane
“It seems to me that trying to live without friends is like milking a bear to get cream for your morning coffee. It is a whole lot of trouble, and then not worth much after you get it.” – Zora Neale Hurston
“You wake up in the morning and you look at your old spoon, and you say to yourself, ‘Mick, it’s time to get yourself a new spoon.’ And you do.” – Mick Jagger
“In these times you have to be an optimist to open your eyes when you awake in the morning.” – Carl Sandburg
“When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.” – Emo Philips
Why can’t the morning News ever say ‘Today has been canceled…go back to sleep.’
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?” – J.R.R. Tolkien
“I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.” – Michael J. Fox
I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.
“Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night’s sleep, and you can’t settle anything until morning anyway.” – Rose Kennedy
I like my bed more than I like most people.
“A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.” – Honore de Balzac
“I hate mornings, they start so early.” – Janet Evanovich
“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me.
“What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.” – Timur Vermes
Am I the only person who wakes up at 7:59 am and goes back to sleep to cherish that last minute.
You know that moment when you wake up in the morning?
“Sometimes I wake up and think I should start wearing a beret, but I don’t do it.” – Mitch Hedburg
Good Morning Funny Text and Sayings
Are you looking for funny, romantic, inspirational, cute, sarcastic or sweet good morning text and sayings? You have found the best collection there is! We have gathered here all sorts of funny good morning text messages, funny have good day pictures, good morning funny texts and sweet good morning texts messages. May you laugh, smile, share positive new day quotes and be inspired!
A cool breeze is touching you to wish you Good morning! Birds are twittering to wake you up from your sleep! Wake up my dear here is my Good morning wish to start your day!
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.” — Marlo Thomas
Why is it that when my alarm goes off at 6 am and I close my eyes for 5 minutes, it’s suddenly 7:30. And when it’s 1:30 pm at the office and I close my eyes for 5 minutes, it’s only 1:31?
My dear wake up from the dream world, Here is the world welcoming you to face a new fresh day in your life! Have a great and wonderful morning!
Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke’. Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” — Winston Churchill
Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.
“Morning will come, it has no choice.” — Marty Rubin
Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction.
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that U have the perfect day. Take care & miss you. Good morning!
“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’” — Steven Wright
You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning. Get up now and turn your dream into reality. Good Morning!!
“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.” — Rodney Dangerfield
Life never seems to be the way we want it, but we live it the best way we can. There is no perfect life, but we can fill it with perfect Moments… Nice day!
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.” — Terry Pratchett
Funny Good Morning Greetings
It’s never too early for a smile. Sure, if you are not the morning kind, we’ll let you have a sip of that coffee, then another, then finish off the whole cup, but then what reason do you have not to start the day off with a laugh? So, look at the morning meme. Who does not like to have funny good morning greetings and saying and start the day in a light mood? If you want to help your friends have a great day then send them some funny good morning quotes.
“A person falls asleep the fastest when he turns off the alarm clock.”
“Luckily, today has been canceled. Go back to bed.”
“There are 2 kinds of people in this world: 1) morning people 2) people who want to shoot morning people”
“The one, who snores, is the first one to fall asleep.”
“I need to get up – my coffee needs me.”
“Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.” — Job Might
“I always say ‘MORNING’ instead of ‘GOOD MORNING’ if it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people”
“I think I’m allergic to morning”
“Twinkle twinkle sleepy star, wake up now it’s the 11th hour, up above the world so high, the sun has risen in the sky.” — Mickey Nice
“Morning paradox – it takes forever to fall asleep and only a second to fall asleep in the morning.”
“Angels usually show up in the morning but I have shown up now. So all you need to do is bow down a bit and wish yourself a happy morning as a sign of respect. Cheers mate!” — Melanie Leroy’s
“The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it is my cell phone ”
“The doctor has a new suggestion for you this morning. Laugh a little more in the morning for breakfast, give a beautiful smile in the afternoon. Stay far more happy for dinner. What is the doctor’s fee? Think more about me” : ) — Sally Coleslaw
“Hell is other people before breakfast”
How To Be Funny and Enjoy The Morning?
How can you be a funny person?
Get comfortable with yourself
Timing is everything. Work on it when telling a story / joke
Who is the funniest person ever to get some inspiration?
In “my” opinion it was Robbie Williams. But Billy Murray, Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin are also in the list.
Why saying “Good Morning” is important?
Telling some one “good morning” has many positive results. It connects you with other persons. We are social beings and we would you like to have positive relationships with other humans around us. Also, it’s a very nice behavior.
1 thought on “Funny Good Morning Jokes & Quotes To Start The Perfect Day”
I loved the sign that says 24 hours open, but not in a row. Haha.
Thanks for passing through nothingcluelesslost.com
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