42+ Best Funny Engagement Quotes: Exclusive Selection

While engagement sessions require a bit of work to plan and prepare for, it’s meant to be a fun, care-free time with you and your sweetie! Inspirational funny engagement quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

If you’re searching for amusing quotes and funniest friendship quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny easter quotes, hilarious drinking quotes and funniest dog quotes.

Famous Funny Engagement Quotes

Marriage is a three-ring circus. First the engagement ring, the the wedding ring, then the suffering. – Milton Berle

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night. – Paul Hornung

Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single. – Unknown

Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner – just so they can have the last word. – Janet Periat

The most important four words for a successful marriage: I’ll do the dishes. – Unknown

funny engagement quotes

Marriage is a workshop… where husband works and wife shops. – Unknown

Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable. – Forget Paris

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. – Phyllis Diller

Why do married people live longer than single people? I think it’s because married people make a special effort to live longer than their partner just so they can have the last word. – Janet Periat

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life. – W. C. Fields

funniest engagement quotes

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henny Youngman

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. – Helen Rowland

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. – Unknown

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them. – Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade. – Unknown

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds they mature slowly. – Peter De Vries

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. – Elbert Hubbard

It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel-they get to know each other better. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore. – Unknown

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day. – Mickey Rooney

extremely funny engagement quotes

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. – Catherine Zeta-Jones

They say marriages are made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning. – Clint Eastwood

A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. – Unknown

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. – Pacifist Ray

Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. – Unknown

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! – Unknown

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

hilarious engagement quotes

A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late. – The Joker is Wild

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. – Peter De Vries

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. – Al Bundy

Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. – Robert Brault

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore. – Genevieve Nnaji

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. – Raymond Hull

Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage. – Zig Ziglar

Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. – Unknown

The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes. – Unknown

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. – Jean Kerr

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do. – H.L Mencken

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