67+ Best Funny Food Quotes: Exclusive Selection

food is something that provides nutrients. Inspirational funny food quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for funny sayings and funniest inspirational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of hilarious hair quotes, hilarious engagement quotes, and funniest easter quotes.

Famous Funny Food Quotes

Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry. – Mike Kalin

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food. – W.C. Fields

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. – Dave Barry

Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche. – Lewis Grizzard

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations. – Oscar Wilde

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. – Orson Welles

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. – Will Rogers

The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you’re hungry again. – George Miller

funny food quotes

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning. – John Barrymore

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces. – Judith Viorst

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon. – Ellen DeGeneres

Vegetarians are cowards. They just kill things that can’t move. – Unknown

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. – Rita Rudner

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. – Julia Child

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. – Fran Lebowitz

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. – Erma Bombeck

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because. I hate plants. – A. Whitney Brown

When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny. – Greg Tamblyn

I don’t eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don’t eat anything that looks like I should step on it. – George Carlin

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the “Titanic” who waved off the dessert cart. – Erma Bombeck

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. – Calvin Trillin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. – Mark Twain

My daughters think ketchup is a vegetable. – Bowen White

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. – Douglas Adams

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. – George Carlin

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. – Jim Davis

The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate! – Terry Moore

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze. – Stephen King

I’m not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day. – Andy Borowitz

How am I supposed to relax in a world where “truffle” can mean either chocolate or fungus? – Dan Piraro

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?” – Unknown

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. – Doug Larson

Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup. – Henry James

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners! – Roald Dahl

I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’ – Phyllis Diller

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God… I could be eating a slow learner! – Lynda Montgomery

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.’ – Yogi Berra

I’ll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a moustache. – Niles Crane

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don’t forget food. You can go a week without laughing. – Joss Whedon

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. – Mark Twain

I avoid oysters, which are clearly scientists should look into this next members of the phlegm family. – Dave Barry

One man’s fish is another man’s ‘poisson’. – Carolyn Wells

I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it’s the pepper or the oni. – Ulrik Stephens

There’s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap. – Kevin James

Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat, that’s bad for you! – Tom Smothers

It’s so beautifully arranged on the plate you know someone’s fingers have been all over it. – Julia Child

Cakes are healthy too, you just eat a small slice. – Mary Berry

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. – P. J. O’Rourke

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze. – Stephen King

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. – Hippocrates

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken. – Jonathan Swift

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks. – Totie Fields

Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos. – Don Kardong

Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate. – Jo Brand

Watermelon – it’s a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. – Enrico Caruso

Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising. – Meg Cabot

Snack time heals all wounds. – Bridger Winegar

Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. – Michael Pollan

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. – Bethenny Frankel

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. – Alfred E. Newman

Probably one of the most private things in the world is an egg before it is broken. – M.F.K. Fisher

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. – Barbara Johnson

Food is our common ground, a universal experience. – James Beard

We all eat, and it would be a sad waste of opportunity to eat badly. – Anna Thomas

Never eat more than you can lift. – Miss Piggy

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