56+ Best Funny Parenting Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Inspirational funny parenting quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

If you’re searching for extremely funny quotes and hilarious work quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny political quotes, hilarious real estate quotes and funniest retirement quotes.

Famous Funny Parenting Quotes

A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld

I came to parenting the way most of us do  knowing nothing and trying to learn everything. Mayim Bialik

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable. Lane Olinghouse

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one. Sue Atkins 

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you Robert Fulghum

Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us? Alyson Hannigan

The truth is, parenting as well as we can is always hard  really, truly, the hardest thing any of us has ever done Laura Markham

If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle

First babies have the often unenviable task of turning people into parents. Penelope Leach

Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano

I don’t know what’s more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you’re doing. Jim Gaffigan

Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers. William Galvin

As your kids grow up, they may forget what you said, but they won’t forget how you made them feel Kevin Heath

Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee. David Frost

Having children is like living in a frat house: nobody sleeps, everything is broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up Ray Romano

Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse. Nia Vardalos

I feel very blessed to have two wonderful, healthy children who keep me completely grounded, sane and throw up on my shoes just before I go to an awards show just so I know to keep it real. Reese Witherspoon, actress

The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering. Paul Reiser

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. James Baldwin 

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. Ed Asner

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. Nora Ephron

Great parenting lies somewhere between ‘don’t do that’ and ‘ah, what the hell

I don’t think it matters how many parents you’ve got, as long as those who are around make their presence a good one. Elizabeth Wurtzel

Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her. Ryan Reynolds

Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us? Alyson Hannigan

Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty. Julia Roberts

On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting Daddy’s freedom. Ryan Reynolds 

I’d love to be a Pinterest mom. But it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.

Having children just puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears. Kate Winslet 

Dads immediately fall in love with their little girls and will let them get away with everything. So moms are going to have to be the disciplinarians when it comes to daughters. Jimmy Fallon

My daughter told me I looked like a piñata and I take that as the highest compliment. Mindy Kaling 

Once you sign on to be a mother, 24/7 is the only shift they offer. Jodi Picoult

 If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent. Better Davis

A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops. Maurice Johnston

A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s. Princess Diana

It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish. Carrie Underwood

The only man who has stolen my heart is my son. Sandra Bullock 

One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed but that will not be today, not in this grocery store

I became the kind of parent my mother was to me. Maya Angelou

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P Adams

Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself. Wayne Dyer 

Parenting was much easier when I was raising my non existent kid hypothetically.

The best kind of parent you can be is to lead by example. Drew Barrymore

You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

Parenthood it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last. Peter Krause

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them. Erica Bombeck

The point of parenting isn’t to have all the answers before we start out but instead to figure it out on the go as our children grow, because as they do, so will we. Bridgett Miller

Having a child is like getting a tattoo on your face. You better be committed. Elizabeth Gilbert

Parents with their words, attitudes, and actions possess the ability to bless or curse the identities of their children. Craig Hill.

I thought I’d never be that annoying person, but as soon as Winnie was born, I was showing iPhone snaps to a cab driver. Jimmy Fallon

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. Peggy O’Mara

On our 6 a.m. walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting Daddy’s freedom. Ryan Reynolds

Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who sucks at math Amber Dusick.