67+ Best Funny Political Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Politics is the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in groups, or other forms of power relations between individuals, such as the distribution of resources or status. Inspirational funny political quotes will challenge the way you think, change the way you live and transform your whole life.

If you’re searching for amusing quotes and funniest movie quotes one liners that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny real estate quotes, hilarious retirement quotes and funniest relationship quotes.

Famous Funny Political Quotes

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office

Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.  Bob Inglis

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river.  Clarence Darrow

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

 The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep.  Clinton Aide George Stephanopolous.

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

 It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.  Dan Quayle

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat myself.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.  Dan Quayle

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

 He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.  George Bernard Shaw quotes

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

 It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.  George W Bush

In Mexico, an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well.

 A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.  Harry S. Truman

In a recent fire Bob Dole’s library burned down. Both books were lost. And he hadn’t even finished coloring one of them.  Jack Kemp

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

 I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.  Ronald Reagan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each the other

Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed.  Mao Tse Tung

Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces.

 I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. Margaret Thatcher

Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises.

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.  Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C.

Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.  Mark Twain

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.

 Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.  Robert Louis Stevenson quotes

Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed.

 They don’t call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing.  Ted Kennedy

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.  Will Rogers

Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters

 I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.   Will Rogers

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers

Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.

The problem with political jokes is they get elected

Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else

I don’t know whether it’s the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system.

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.

Just think what my margin might have been if I had never left home at all.

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

I don’t want to be invited to the family hunting party.

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies

All that Hubert needs over there is a gal to answer the phone and a pencil with an eraser on it

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

If I were two faced, would I be wearing this one?

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

The Green Belt is a Labour initiative and we intend to build on it.

If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush’s head.

I don’t want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low grade bank clerk

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

She probably thinks Sinai’ is the plural of ‘sinus.

I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.

The house has noticed the Prime Minister’s remarkable transformation in the last few weeks from Stalin to Mr. Bean.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

The right honorable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.

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