40+ Best Funny Soccer Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Association football, more commonly known as football or soccer, is a team sport played with a spherical ball between two teams of 11 players. Inspirational funny soccer quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

If you’re searching for extremely funny quotes and hilarious friendship quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny science quotes, hilarious saturday quotes and funniest running quotes.

Famous Funny Soccer Quotes

We’ll still be happy if we lose. The game’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival. Cork City

They’ve picked their heads up off the ground and they now have a lot to carry on their shoulders. Ron Atkinson

We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized. Ian McNail

I spent 90 percent of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted! George Best

We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. Bobby Robson

Football is a game in which a handful of fit men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise. Unknown

Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins. Brian Moore

Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win. Vinny Jones

Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need to know. David Beckham

When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1. Lawrie McMenemy

funny soccer quotes

The Germans only have one player under 22, and he’s 23! Kevin Keegan

Chile have three options. they could win or they could lose. Kevin Keegan

Moreano thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard. Ron Atkinson

When Manchester United are at their best I am close to *rg*sm. Gianluca Vialli

If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again. Terry Venables

The beauty of Cup football is that Jack always has a chance of beating Goliath. Terry Butcher

The ref was vertically 15 yards away. Kevin Keegan

You guys line up alphabetically by height. Bill Peterson

Top Funny Soccer Quotes

Soccer players pretend they’re hurt. Hockey players pretend they’re not. Soccer

Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air even longer. David Acfield

Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds. Totally against the run of play. Peter Lorenzo

The underdogs will start favourites for this match. Anthony Hudson

If you stand still there is only one way to go, and that’s backwards. Peter Shilton

This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players. Javier Clemente

England has the best fans in the world and Scotland’s fans are second-to-none. Kevin Keegan

The rules of soccer are very simple: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does. Phil Woosnam

funniest soccer quotes

Diego Maradona. a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed. Bob Wilson

I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. Ron Atkinson

Batistuta gets most of his goals with the ball. Ian St John

It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson. Gordon Strachan referring to Wayne Rooney

He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it -you can see it all over their faces. Ron Atkinson

We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percnet that cost us the match. Ruud Gullit

Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field. Metro Radio

Zero. zero is a big score! Ron Atkinson

And Farmer has now scored 19 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season. Garry Lyon

I don’t like to see players tossed off needlessly. Andy Gray

Raul, man, he’s like a Twinkie. He would survive a nuclear war. Ray Hudson

I came to Nantes two years ago and it’s much the same today, except that it’s completely different. Kevin Keegan

Well, Clive, it’s all about the two M’s. Movement and positioning. Ron Atkinson

Statistics are like miniskirts: They give you good ideas but hide the important things. Ebbe Skovdahl

Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw. Ron Atkinson

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