58+ Best Funny Soccer Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Association football, more commonly known as football or soccer, is a team sport played with a spherical ball between two teams of 11 players. Inspirational funny soccer quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

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Famous Funny Soccer Quotes

My wife doesn’t like football. One day she called me 10 minutes before a game to find out where I was. Peter Crouch

Let your feet do the talking.

Neymar is the Kim Kardashian of football. He is not at the level of Ronaldo and Messi, and there are many other players in front of him. Neymar, more than a football phenomenon, is an advertising phenomenon, like the Kardashians. Joey Barton

Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won.

I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league Mark Viduka

It takes a lot of balls to play soccer the way I do.

I was the strongest player on the team, despite the fact that I weighed 73kg. Chelsea had Essien and Ballack in midfield. We had Rosicky. If you said as much as how are you to him, he would then be injured for 2 and a half months. Emmanuel Adebayor

I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board. Just to get the ball rolling.

They’re lucky I didn’t come 10 years ago because I would be the president today Zlatan Ibrahimovic On his impact on MLS

Stressed, blessed, soccer obsessed.

I asked my son who his favorite player was. I expected him to say ‘You, Dad’. But he said,  Thierry Henry. Didier Drogba

Soccer is not a game, it’s an attitude.

My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7 David Beckham

Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.

Sometimes in football you have to score goals Thierry Henry

I never stop thinking about soccer. 

Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I don’t like that attitude. I can assure them it is much more serious than that Bill Shankly

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically, it is this: If it moves, kick it.

We’re looking for an apartment. If we don’t find anything, then I’ll probably just buy the hotel. Zlatan Ibrahimovic at his unveiling as a Paris Saint Germain player.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.

Football was my only hope in life. I wasn’t too good at school. To give you an idea, I failed art in a class where my uncle was the teacher. Richarlison

Good players inspire themselves, great players inspire others.

I had no idea who my teammates at Genoa were when I signed. So I turned on my PlayStation and looked them up on FIFA. Krzysztof Piątek

You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.

I entered AC Milan’s locker room at 17. Ronaldo gave me a Playboy magazine and said ‘be in my group or in Kaka’s the religious one Pato.

Soccer doesn’t build character, it reveals it.

I shouldn’t say this  definitely not now! But when I was young I was a massive united fan Raheem Sterling

If soccer was easy it would be called golf.

The success has helped a lot, especially with girls, they send me naked photos Joao Felix

Life is short. Spend it playing soccer.

I have one selfie on my smartphone. That’s with Messi. Cristiano was in the room, as well. Jürgen Klopp

Don’t worry, play soccer.

You have to be gentle with the ball like you are gentle with a woman. Dimitar Berbatov

Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.

I’m happy for Toronto as they’ll be remembered as my 500th victim  Zlatan Ibrahimović after scoring his 500th career goal.

If I am not playing soccer. I am dreaming about it. 

One day. Romario asked me if could miss training to go to Brazil for Carnival I said: ‘If you score two goals goals tomorrow.’ He scored twice in 20 minutes against Madrid and asked to be replaced: ‘Coach, My plane leaves in one hour. Johan Cruyff

Happiness is a day at the soccer field. 

Have Tottenham closed the gap on Arsenal? Last time I checked they were still 4 miles and 11 titles away. Arsene Wenger On Tottenham closing the gap

Talk with your feet, play with your heart.

You watch Little Mozart play with great pleasure. His movement on the pitch was impressive, full of class and grace. I still believe he must be the richest footballer I know.

A bad day of soccer is better than a good day of work. 

He never spent any money. The whole time I was at Arsenal he had the same car, a 2005/6 Mercedes, and he only wore clothes from his sponsor. The only thing he didn’t spare was his guitar. Wojciech Szczesny on Tomas Rosicky

Sometimes I hate life but I don’t give up on it because of soccer.

He’s leaving because he’s Guardiola’s favorite. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. I can’t make myself shorter and learn Spanish Jurgen Klopp on Mario Gotze joining Bayern

I’d rather be playing soccer. 

Only thieves can complain about the introduction of security Cameras! Jose Mourinho on controversy surrounding VAR

It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.

Next season I will train my youngest son’s team. Of course they already know what the training plan is: Cut in from the right and shoot with the left. Arjen Robben

Out hustle, outwork, out think, outplay.

We had a WhatsApp group in Monaco at that time and the title was TRANSFER MARKET’ for a few hours because we knew that Monaco was going to generate interest from other clubs. Bernardo Silva on Monaco’s 2016/2017 squad

Kicking off the day in the best way possible.

You see a man with his d**k swinging around. Who wants to see that?! Jurgen Klopp on pitch invaders

I’m currently dating a famous soccer player. He’s so loving and caring towards me. He’s a keeper.

When I stood in the tunnel as a united player, I saw Ronaldo, Giggs, Scholes, Neville, Vidic, Rio, Evra, Van De Sar. Then I looked at the opponents. They were already beaten. Dimitar Berbatov

Just in case you needed proof that I’ve got game.