50+ Best Funny Work Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Work is an activity, such as a job, that a person uses physical or mental effort to do, usually for money. Inspirational funny work quotes quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and greatest sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of popular funny movie quotes, top funny motivational quotes and best funny inspirational quotes.

Most Famous Funny Work Quotes

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Bill Gates

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. Napoleon Bonaparte

No man goes before his time-unless the boss leaves early. Groucho Marx

It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. Muhammad Ali

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. Leslie Nielsen

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around. Homer Simpson

It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter. John Gotti

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey

Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done. Peter Drucker

It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels Unknown

People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do. Elbert Hubbard

I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one. Clarence Darrow

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.’- Phyllis Diller

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Oscar Wilde

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Unknown

funny work quotes

Inspirational Funny Work Quotes

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost

It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. William Faulkner

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. Denise Miller

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still? J. Paul Getty

You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic. Zig Ziglar

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. Tom Goins

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Homer Simpson

best funny work quotes

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome

If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. Sarah Brown

Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock. Pablo Picasso

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. Claude McDonald

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. Dennis Miller

Why join the navy if you can be a pirate? Steve Jobs

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. Author Unknown

Failure is not an option-it comes bundled with the software. Unknown

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. Robert Orben

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. Joseph Stilwell

Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs. Mary Kay Ash

Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it. Andrew Young

top funny work quotes

Motivational Funny Work Quotes

I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday. Anonymous

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? Kin Hubbard

Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job. Unknown

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. Stanley J. Randall

There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.’Peter Drucker

If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. Albert Einstein

popular funny work quotes

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Doug Larson

Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it half-assed. That’s the American way. Homer Simpson

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. TS Eliot

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon. Anonymous

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