42+ Best Funny Work Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Work is an activity, such as a job, that a person uses physical or mental effort to do, usually for money. Inspirational funny work quotes quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and greatest sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of popular funny movie quotes, top funny motivational quotes and best funny inspirational quotes.

Most Famous Funny Work Quotes

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Bill Gates

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?  Edgar Bergen

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. Phyllis Diller

 It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. William Faulkner

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still? J. Paul Getty

You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic. Zig Ziglar

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Homer Simpson

As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. Tom Goins

Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock. Pablo Picass0

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind. Joseph Stilwell

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. Sarah Brown

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? Kin Hubbard

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. Claude McDonald

There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job. Peter Drucker

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. Dennis Miller

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Doug Larson

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work

Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things. TS Eliot

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. Robert Orben

If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some. Benjamin Franklin

Delegate your work. Stop spending dollar time on penny jobs. Mary Kay Ash

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp

Getting paid to sleep that’s my dream job

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment. Dilbert

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.​ Stanley J. Randall

The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.  Oscar Wilde

If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is playing. Z is keep your mouth shut.” Albert Einstein

Beware of any enterprise requiring new clothes. Henry Thoreau

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​ Homer Simpson

Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train. The Office

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​ Kin Hubbard

You never become a howling success by just howling. Bob Harrington

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​ David Letterman

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. Earl Wilson

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.

I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues. Franklin D. Roosevelt