The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a comedy science fiction series created by Douglas Adams. Profoundly inspirational Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.
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Famous Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy Quotes
Ten million years of planning and work gone just like that. Ten million years, Earthman, can you conceive of that kind of time span? — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Forty-two. — Deep Thought
I don’t know, I didn’t listen. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks dont. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
To explain — since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation — every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake. The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Er, five, said the mattress. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
There is a moment in every dawn when light floats, there is the possibility of magic. Creation holds its breath. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Don’t Panic. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Eskimos had over two hundred different words for snow, without which their conversation would probably have got very monotonous. So they would distinguish between thin snow and thick snow, light snow and heavy snow, sludgy snow, brittle snow, snow that came in flurries, snow that came in drifts, snow that came in on the bottom of your neighbor’s boots all over your nice clean igloo floor, the snows of winter, the snows of spring, the snows you remember from your childhood that were so much better than any of your modern snow, fine snow, feathery snow, hill snow, valley snow, snow that falls in the morning, snow that falls at night, snow that falls all of a sudden just when you were going out fishing, and snow that despite all your efforts to train them, the huskies have pissed on. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
I think you ought to know Im feeling very depressed. — Marvin
So long and thanks for all the fish. — The Dolphins
All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it’s pretty damn complicated in the first place. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Why, what did she tell you? — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
One of the things Ford had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in ‘It’s a nice day’, ‘You’re very tall’, or ‘You seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright?’ At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation, he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical, and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn’t cope with, and that terrible listlessness that starts to set in about :, when you know you’ve taken all the baths that you can usefully take that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the newspaper you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o’clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The disadvantages involved in pulling lots of black sticky slime from out of the ground where it had been safely hidden out of harm’s way, turning it into tar to cover the land with, smoke to fill the air with and pouring the rest into the sea, all seemed to outweigh the advantages of being able to get more quickly from one place to another. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, Ford muttered to himself, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this: ‘I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, ‘for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’ ‘But,’ says Man, ‘the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’ ‘Oh dear,’ says God, ‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. ‘Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing. Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo’s kidneys, but that didn’t stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his bestselling book, Well That about Wraps It Up for God. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Space, it says, is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number . — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. — The Guide
(An orange sash was what the President of the Galaxy traditionally wore.) It might not even have made much difference to them if theyd known exactly how much power the President of the Galaxy actually wielded: none at all. Only six people in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to wield power but to attract attention away from it. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.—
He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. — Mr Prosser
The reason why it was published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if it were printed in normal book form, an interstellar hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Space, it says, is big. Really big. You just wont believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think its a long way down the road to the chemists, but thats just peanuts to space. — The Guide
The chances of finding out what’s really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do is hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don’t know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
He was wrong to think he could now forget that the big, hard, oily, dirty, rainbow-hung Earth on which he lived was a microscopic dot on a microscopic dot lost in the unimaginable infinity of the Universe. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Wrong, said MarvinYou see? — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. — Trillian-Zaphod
Funny, he intoned funereally, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Listen, three eyes, he said, don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Drink up. The world’s about to end. — Ford Prefect
For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying And another thing… twenty minutes after admitting he’s lost the argument. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
You know, said Arthur, it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Science has achieved some wonderful things of course, but Id far rather be happy than right any day. And are you? No. Thats where it all falls down of course. — Slartibartfast and Arthur Dent
It is a well known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
It seemed to me, said Wonko the Sane, that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking. — Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy
