How To Get Him To Commit: 12 Powerful Ways

Have you tried to guess your man before?

You gaze at him thinking:

What is it that runs through those brains of his? What is he waiting for? Why is he not committing? Is he ever being serious with me?

If you have ever gotten so worried over commitment yet you don’t really know how to go about it so as not to look desperate and cheap, then this article is for you.

He’s not completely unaware that you could be worried, but the truth is that there are a few things a man is looking out for in a woman, and until he sees those things in you, he wouldn’t commit.

Every woman has the ability to draw a man’s attention, most of us know how to keep a man, but not all of us can bring a man to commit to us. When you understand male psychology, he would become a lot more interested in serious relationships.

How do you make him want to commit?

If you really want to know how to get him to commit, understanding is the effective way to make a man commit without pressure.

But first, make sure that you identify the signs he is your soulmate and he’s husband material.

Instead of pressure, try to follow the 80/20 relationship rule and you will have a healthy relationship.

And remember that if he has commitment issues, one of the most important things is to not blame yourself.

How to Get a Guy to Commit

  1. Keep him guessing

He is a man; play the psychological game with him. That is…

Keep him guessing. Be good at it.

You can’t afford to appear desperate; it will work against you. Use the psychological game to manipulate him. Switch on and off. Be a bit mysterious.

Just when he thinks, oh she needs me to commit, then you appear like you don’t really care.

Whatever you do, don’t break it.

You must understand that love is of the heart. If you can effortlessly play this game, he would become more desperate, and he would commit eventually.

Keep things balanced: miss his calls, give it a couple of hours and call back, get busy at times, reply late to his first chat, once in a while, have an urgent reason to end the call.

All of these must be done with caution. Don’t let him decode you, and don’t make him think you are cheating.

He may need a little push to take a step, but if you push so hard you may lose him.

  1. Let him earn it

Men are hunters, let it sink.

Let him hunt. And the best way of getting him to hunt for you is simply, stop hunting for him.

The two of you can’t be hunting at the same time. Don’t show signs of desperation.

Allow men to be men. Don’t push the handle. Talk more about other things. And when it comes to commitment don’t be analytical.

Chances are, he too is thinking critically about it, but once you begin to talk about it all the time, he may genuinely lose interest.

  1. Build him instead

Instead of becoming obsessed with commitment, build your man.

It is better to show him love by helping to build his future.

There are times his work would put him in a mess, what you do at times like that matters a lot. Seize such opportunities to print your name in his heart.

Most of the time what keeps a man from commitment is indifference on the side of the woman. We all need a helper, be one when he needs one.

It is counterproductive to work towards commitment when all he needs is support yet you can’t see that. He would simply conclude that you are being unrealistic or worse, that you two are incompatible.

  1. Trigger his hero instinct

Yes, it is very important to trigger his hero instinct.

There are at least seven ways to trigger a man’s hero instinct: ask for his assistance, appreciate him, encourage him, show him that you feel happy around him, show him he is the only one, celebrate his success, challenge him.

You can read more about hero instinct and how to trigger it here, but briefly, hero instinct is a give and take. It is what you give to your man to have him fight for you, protect you, provide for you, and so on.

And what actually can you give a man to trigger him to fight for you? Give him respect, loyalty, recognition.

When you do these things using the seven steps we mentioned, then you will see the positive reaction from him.

  1. Be a woman of substance

Be a woman that brings something to the table.

If you want your man to appreciate you and long for you, be a woman that adds value to his life by adding to yours.

Be yourself, don’t be too dependent, improve on your life, your career. Have a dream, set and achieve goals.

Most importantly, don’t let what you achieve ruin your relationship. Shun being proud or selfish.

When you get busy building yourself, he will cherish you the more, and he will commit so as not to lose you.

  1. Don’t act like a wife yet

Of course, you can make plans with him, help him with some of his needs, cook dishes for and with him, ask some personal questions, but all of these must have a limit. If he gets all the benefits of a wife, he will get more relaxed.

And he may take you for granted or conclude that you are desperate.

Sometimes when you overstep your boundaries, he will begin to see reasons not to commit to you. Don’t try to control him as though you are his mom or wife.

A wife may ask her husband not to see certain friends, not to go certain places, not to take certain decisions, and so on, don’t do that, he may flee.

Make things simple and sweet, and don’t spend the whole time arguing or nagging, then he will commit.

  1. Looking good is a good business

Take your time to look good before appearing before him.

Fix or retouch your hair, apply some makeup, wear a nice perfume.

Don’t go out with him looking casual or unappealing.

If he notices that other men admire you, he will get jealous, and hasten up to commit.

  1. Don’t make him too jealous

Jealousy is not a tool to use to get him to commit.

Don’t try to hasten his actions by flirting. It will backfire. Men count on the faithfulness of their woman. In fact, they can’t risk an unfaithful woman.

Letting him second-guess you is dangerous and will definitely put him farther away. He would want to understand the situation, and if you continue, you may lose him.

And again, if he couldn’t picture what is happening or thinks that you are playing games, he will try to respond with games too.

Playing games is never a good option, don’t take the risk, don’t wave him goodbye.

  1. Meet his family

Show concern, ask after his family, propose to meet them. And let him meet yours as well.

He didn’t fall from the sky; he came from a family. It is important that you see the wonderful people in his life. Get to talk to them. Share in their views and create a relationship.

You never know where your help may come from. A simple phone call from the mum recommending and admitting that she likes you may be all the push that he needs to commit.

  1. Make friends with his friends

If you are good with his male friends, they will suggest how good you are when they talk, and they will naturally ask him to go ahead and commit.

Making friends with his friends doesn’t have to take much. By simply not ignoring them but instead have one or two casual talks with them can make all the difference.

If all you did was point out how positively they have influenced him, they would return the kindness.

  1. Don’t be a financial burden

If he thinks that he is beginning to spend so much, he won’t commit.

Don’t give the excuse that he isn’t complaining, most men won’t. It has to do with their ego.

He doesn’t want to be seen as not meeting up to your expectations, yet if they are much on him, he will definitely not commit.

Instead of expecting things to be done all the time, on one or two occasions, pay for dinner, buy him gifts, make his favorite dish, and so on. Lessen the burden on him.

  1. Let him confide in you

Be the person that he tells everything in confidence.

Earn this by always listening to him and giving him valuable advice. And never let him down or use it against him even when you quarrel.

If he can conveniently share secrets with you, then you are very close to his heart.

And once he starts to do this, also do the same with him. Share your secrets. It will show him that you trust him, hence he will commit.


To get your man to commit, you need to understand the secrets of men’s psychology and use them.

It is better you earn his commitment by following the rules: keep him guessing, meet his family, trigger his hero instinct, have a life, look good, making him jealous isn’t part of it.

Please share your thoughts in the comment section. What other ways have you applied to make a man commit to you?

how to get him to commit