84+ Best Insult Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Profoundly inspirational insult quotes will encourage you to think a little deeper than you usually would and broaden your perspective.

Famous Insult Quotes

My gran could do better! And she’s dead!

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river. Cordell Hull

For what we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly not vomit.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and, if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over. F. Scott Fitzgerald

You’re getting your knickers in a twist! Calm down!

The modern revisionists and reactionaries call us Stalinists, thinking that they insult us and, in fact, that is what they have in mind. But, on the contrary, they glorify us with this epithet; it is an honor for us to be Stalinists for while we maintain such a stand the enemy cannot and will never force us to our knees. Enver Hoxha

This lamb is so undercooked, it’s following Mary to school!

Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no mater how slow.  Plato

This pizza is so disgusting, if you take it to Italy you’ll get arrested.

We should never insult others on account of their faults, for it is our duty to show charity and respect to everyone. John Calvin

There’s enough garlic in here to kill every vampire in Europe.

From self knowledge flows the stream of humility, which never seizes on mere report, nor takes offense at anything, but bears every insult, every loss of consolation, and every sorry, from whatever direction they may come, patiently, with joy. St. Catherine of Siena

After trying Hawaiian pizza: “This isn’t a pizza, this is a mistake. This is an Italian tragedy.

Honor belongs to those who never forsake the truth even when things seem dark and grim, who try over and over again, who are never discouraged by insults, humiliation and even defeat. Nelson Mandela

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t fing cook it!

Never insult seven men when all your packing is a six shooter. Zane Grey

You put so much ginger in this, it’s a Weasley.

Never regret anything that made you smile. Mark Twain

The problem with Yanks is they are wimps.

Being a star has made it possible for me to get insulted in places where the average Negro could never hope to go and get insulted. Sammy Davis, Jr.

Don’t just stand there like a big fing muffin!

He who has realized love for God in his heart is tireless in his pursuit of the Lord his God, and bears every hardship, reproach and insult nobly, never thinking the least evil of anyone. Maximus the Confessor

 I can give you one strong piece of advice, when you go away for that romantic weekend, whatever you do, do not accept or take the upgrade to the honeymoon suite.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Eckhart Tolle

If I relaxed, if I took my foot off the gas, I would probably die.

Of all the griefs that harass the distress’d, Sure the most bitter is a scornful jest; Fate never wounds more deep the generous heart, Than when a blockhead’s insult points the dart. Samuel Johnson

I train my chefs completely differently than anyone else. My young girls and guys, when they come to the kitchen, the first thing they get is a blindfold. They get blindfolded and they sit down at the chef’s table Unless they can identify what they’re tasting, they don’t get to cook it.

Though I never shout at Labour Members or insult them, I can never understand the psychology of some of our men who endeavored to reason with them. Neville Chamberlain

Stop taking things personally.

S. has a unique position in the history of human hopes. Ferdinand Mount

I’d like to think I’m a great teacher.

Failure are part of life. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn. If you don’t learn you’ll never change.

I wouldn’t trust you running a bath let alone a restaurant.

When will the public cease to insult the teacher’s calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings? William C. Bagley

I am what I am. A fighter.

Englishmen never will be slaves; they are free to do whatever the government and public opinion allow them. George Bernard Shaw

This fish is so raw, he’s still finding Nemo.

Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. Time will pass. Earl Nightingale

If you want to become a great chef, you have to work with great chefs. And that’s exactly what I did.

The English never smash in the face. They merely refrain from asking for it for dinner. Margaret Halsey

You added so much salt and pepper I can hear the dish singing ‘Push It.

Injuries accompanied with insults are never forgiven: all men, on these occasions, are good haters, and lay out their revenge at compound interest. Charles Caleb Colton

I don’t like looking back. I’m always constantly looking forward. I’m not the one to sort of sit and cry over spilt milk. I’m too busy looking for the next cow.

Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you. Daniel Handler

Initially, let your food do the talking. You’ll be surprised how far you go in a short period of time.

Sometimes there is no next time, no time outs, no second chances. Sometimes it’s now or never. Alan Bennett

The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody’s ego, that’s it, game over.

Dignity does not come from avenging insults, especially from violence that can never be justified. It comes from taking responsibility and advancing our common humanity. Hillary Clinton

Cooking is about passion, so it may look slightly temperamental in a way that it’s too assertive to the naked eye.

The key thing was to learn the value of economy with words and to never insult the viewer by telling them what they can already see. Richie Benaud

Chefs are nutters. They’re all self obsessed, delicate, dainty, insecure little souls, and absolute psychopaths. Every last one of them.

When will the public cease to insult the teacher’s calling with empty flattery? When will men who would never for a moment encourage their own sons to enter the work of the public schools cease to tell us that education is the greatest and noblest of all human callings? William Bagley

I act on impulse and I go with my instincts.

People talk sometimes of a bestial cruelty, but that’s a great injustice and insult to the beasts; a beast can never be so cruel as a man, so artistically cruel. The tiger only tears and gnaws, that’s all he can do. He would never think of nailing people by the ears, even if he were able to do it. Fyodor Dostoevsky

I think pressure’s healthy, and very few can handle it.

It just shows you how poor that person is, it doesn’t hurt you. Harper Lee

You don’t come into cooking to get rich.

Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate. Garrison Keillor

Hey, panini head, are you even listening to me?

But I would never insult the people that love this music and I would never insult the blessing of music in my life and I would never insult myself by playing uninspired music. Ben Harper

I’m Gordon Ramsay, for goodness sake; people know I’m volatile.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can’t please everyone. But when you’re different, you can last.

Swearing is an industry language. For as long as we’re alive, it’s not going to change. You’ve got to be boisterous to get results.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

I’ll get you more pumpkin, I’ll ram it right up your a

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don’t know why. Maybe they’re afraid of what I might say. There’s probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don’t know what it is.

I swim like a fish, and I have an amazing kick.

You have to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you’re doing you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they’ll laugh.

You used so much oil, the U.S. wants to invade the f-ing plate.

Your brain is as dry as the remaining biscuit after a voyage. William Shakespeare As You Like It Act Two, Scene Seven.

I cook, I create, I’m incredibly excited by what I do, I’ve still got a lot to achieve.

It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. William Shakespeare, Macbeth Act Five, Scene Five

As a soccer player, I wanted an FA Cup winner’s medal. As an actor you want an Oscar. As a chef it’s three Michelin’s stars, there’s no greater than that. So pushing yourself to the extreme creates a lot of pressure and a lot of excitement, and more importantly, it shows on the plate.

They have a plentiful lack of wit. William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act Two, Scene Two.

The pressure on young chefs today is far greater than ever before in terms of social skills, marketing skills, cooking skills, personality and, more importantly, delivering on the plate. So you need to be strong. Physically fit. So my chefs get weighed every time they come into the kitchen.

More of your conversation would infect my brain. William Shakespeare, Coriolanus Act Two, Scene One.

I’ve had a lot of success; I’ve had failures, so I learn from the failure.

If thou wilt need marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.

You’ve got to kiss arse to get somewhere, to learn. Clock watchers are no good at kissing arse.

Your abilities are too infant like for doing much alone. William Shakespeare, Coriolanus Act Two, Scene One.

I suppose your security is your success and your key to success is your fine palate.

Foul spoken coward, that thund’rest with thy tongue, and with thy weapon nothing dares perform.

Kitchens are hard environments and they form incredibly strong characters.

Thou art the cap of all the fools.