It isn’t that I haven’t felt like writing, it’s more than I haven’t known how to put into words how I’m feeling. Things have changed so much since the last time I wrote on here. There are so many possibilities for the future and my head is swimming with them. I want to do something which challenges me and makes my veins rush with excitement and nerves. I want an adventure and to experience something different. And it’s possible, I don’t need to stay where am. I have nothing keeping me here, no commitments, no one relying on me. So I think now is the time to make a move to a new place.
Don’t get me wrong, leaving behind my friends and family will be a sad thing for me, it’ll be a hard to tear myself aware from them. To have enough faith in myself and to rely fully on myself to build a life wherever I go will be will take strength. Many people wouldn’t move to an entirely new place like I am thinking of doing. Half the time I waver and say I won’t do it. But I know deep down I’d really regret not taking a chance to have a brand new experience.
This of course involves a boy, a boy who I was in a relationship with. Then we’ve been going back and fourth over whether we should date whilst still dating and now we’re fully together again. He’s leaving to go back to Northern Ireland where he’s from and wants me to go with him. Feeling like I want a new adventure means that this is a tempting prospect for me. I love the boy obviously but I would never do anything solely to suit someone else. I want to do it for me. Time will tell if I decide to make this move but something tells me I need a change of scenery.
I want to treat myself well. I don’t think of myself as a beauty or someone who’s highly intelligent, but I’m a nice person. A generous, warm hearted person who wants the best for the people I care for and those around them. But for me maybe this is the best shot of being content yet leading an interesting life.