You live your life going forwards but only understand it looking backwards.
We’ve all experienced those dark moments in life. Those heartbreaks, those friends letting you down the job losses or the other disappointments that leave you feeling slightly devastated.
In these moments of anger, frustration, sadness and loss, it’s easy to lash out at the person in front you and toss all rationality out the window or to simply ‘shut down’ and hold the emotion tightly against yourself while you become a silent ember burning
on the inside from sorrow or fury.
In these moments of suffering we only see what is presented in the MOMENT.
And as a proud advocate of living in the moment, I will always endorse feeling whatever you need to feel and allowing the emotion to literally envelope
you until it is finally able to work THROUGH you so that you may let it go.
But in these moments do not forget to breathe deeply (I swear deep breathing slows down time, like some kind of Prince of Persia phenomenon) and take a moment to zoom out on the current situation. Look at the life you have had behind you but mainly try to imagine the life you still have ahead of you.
Consider the context of the situation in the framework of your PAST & FUTURE.
A simple example:
When I experience a heart break, I begin walking along a path of self-deterioration. I look at myself believing that if “I was better’, things would have worked out. That person was the one and that I missed out a future that would have made me happy in life. I may not get the opportunity to meet someone that makes me feel THAT way. Perhaps I am destined to be alone forever.
And after the entire debacle you feel miserable about the entire ordeal and carry it around with you for a while.
Perhaps you have experienced something similar.
Potential way to handle this situation:
Breathe deeply for a few moments and try to relax your mind. Zoom out on the context of the situation and really consider your life. You may have experienced a similar feeling in the past and you overcame it and met someone new. Perhaps if you really considered the possibility of the relationship working you may have had to give up some of the things you would have wanted for yourself personally. After all, now you have plenty of time to work on yourself and create a better YOU for the next person you meet. There is no need to lash out the person who may have hurt you. Do not get caught in their reality and instead focus on your own.
You’ll find yourself smiling over the absurdity of the situation if you zoom out even further. To understand that your life is worth more than a heartbreak or a disappointment or an argument or a job loss or health issues etc. That life is more about how you rose up from the ashes and created something more for yourself. That is always a far more beautiful story.
After all we are all walking, talking, texting and selfie-ing (yeah I made that word up) on a giant rock hurtling through space around the sun in a vast galaxy that we cannot even fathom.
There is a bigger picture to almost every situation and we may not see it until a much later period (which happens most of the time), and if you do not believe there is something more to this pain, CREATE something bigger from it. The world is in your hands after all and you shape the reality around you.
Life is filled with these moments. Moments that hurt us deeply and we think in the moment we may never recover from them.
These sorrows are but a few pieces of a million that make up your existence in the universe. At the moment of sorrow we are focusing on one part of the picture. We are so zoomed in that all we can envision is a blotch that ruins the entire view. But when zoomed out we notice it was all part of the grand masterpiece that makes your life as beautiful and crazy as it is.
Life may be short, but it is the longest thing we will ever do. There is always time to grow and become more than what we are today. Every bitter moment in our life is simply laying the foundation for us to enjoy the sweeter moments that are eminently arriving. And when we take the time to think about the bigger picture of every situation, we are actively participating in our soul’s evolution as we increase our self-awareness.
And do not let these horrible moments make you fearful of the future either. Human beings have an uncanny ability to recognize things based on surface observations. Such as listening to a few notes of music and immediately being aware of the genre and maybe even the artist performing it. We can recognize if a TV show is a comedy or a horror from only a few seconds of viewing. What we cannot do however, is transfer these surface observations to situations or people. We cannot take a few noticeable details and run with it. People themselves are so multi-layered. So many experiences and thoughts that define human beings and their actions, we cannot possibly hope to assume we know them without engaging with them to understand them on a deeper level. The same logic can be applied to situations that happen in our life. We cannot know the full story because the full story is yet to unfold, and the pen is usually in your hands, so make it a beautiful ending.
Take the time to learn more about the world and ourselves so that we can blast through the limitations we have on our understanding of the world around us.
“Don’t trust your eyes, they are often the biggest liars”
It is far too easy to get caught up in the negative events that occurs in our life, overlooking the rest of the things the universe has offered you in abundance.
Remember your friends and family who are always there for you to offer you a shoulder to lean on and a word or two of inspiration to keep you going. Do not forget the sun that rose today to bless you with warmth or the gentle rainfall which leaves the beauty of transparent ellipses peppered across the window pane or the flowers that bloom to show off their beauty to YOU.
The list of abundance is ENDLESS!!
Do not forget the health you have, the heart that beats every moment of everyday, the lungs that fill you with the air you need and every other vital organ inside you that is constantly working to keep you alive for a reason more than simply to cry over the troubles your way.
The bigger picture is sometimes simply stopping to recognize that you may have a 100 reasons to frown but certainly 100000 reasons to smile. Remember the good things in life and the problems will seem a lot less significant.
The actions and choices you make today can have a profound effect on your life and future. Do something for yourself today that may have a positive impact on your future. Consider your life as a film that has cameras constantly rolling. Make sure the film is worth watching.
Do NOT get caught up in the little things in life. Remember that life is far more complex and beautiful than we give it credit for. Decisions and choices we make today can have far reaching effects in the future. Events occur that we feel may not be best for us, but know this…. all the occurrences in your life is all leading towards something beautiful. This beauty however, starts with you. Start thinking of the bigger picture in your own life and work towards creating something grand for yourself. In accordance to this, remember to be grateful for everything that comes your way, be it good or bad. For it was all meant for you in the journey of becoming who you are meant to be.
Life is a beautiful mess. See it fully and embrace it entirely.
“The creator of the universe didn’t build a stairwell leading nowhere.”