47+ Best Squidward Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Squidward Q. Tentacles is a fictional character voiced by actor Rodger Bumpass in the American animated television series SpongeBob SquarePants. Profoundly inspirational Squidward quotes will challenge the way you think, and help guide you through any life experience.

Famous Squidward Quotes

Does this look unsure to you? — Squidward Tentacles

If you think I’m gonna stand out there all day listening to (annoying SpongeBob noises) then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe! — Squidward Tentacles

Shut your half wit pie holes — Squidward Tentacles

Do you have barnacles for brains? — Squidward Tentacles

Why is it whenever I’m having fun, it’s wrong? — Squidward Tentacles

What did I do that time? — Squidward Tentacles

When I die, you stay away from my funeral — Squidward Tentacles

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today — Squidward Tentacles

Too bad that didn’t kill me — Squidward Tentacles

The 1st place Snail Racing cup presented to Squidward… TORTELLINI?! — Squidward Tentacles

I’m Not Rushing Perfection, I’m Rushing You! — Squidward Tentacles

Future! Future! — Squidward Tentacles

TTTTTTTTonight? — Squidward Tentacles

Presented to Squidward… Tortellini? Will I ever win? — Squidward Tentacles

Oh, my aching tentacles. — Squidward Tentacles

That’s not what I meant you barnaclehead! — Squidward Tentacles

Please come again under his breath when I’m not working — Squidward Tentacles

Is it time already for you to ruin my day? — Squidward Tentacles

Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent. — Squidward Tentacles

I’m a winner, see my prize! You’re a loser who sits and cries! — Squidward Tentacles

Oh no he’s hot!! — Squidward Tentacles

Welcome to the House of Misery. May I take your order? — Squidward Tentacles

Chum Bucket? Free? Krabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With? — Squidward Tentacles

I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and than we die. — Squidward Tentacles

Spongebob isn’t hear to enjoy spongebob not being here — Squidward Tentacles

I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me. — Squidward Tentacles

One – I hate you. And two – how can that be me when I’ m standing right here!? — Squidward Tentacles

Because I am all out of MONEEEEEEY!!!!! — Squidward Tentacles

Patrick go be stupid somewhere else! — Squidward Tentacles

That’s his eager face — Squidward Tentacles

I have no soul — Squidward Tentacles

You can’t fool me I listen to public radio — Squidward Tentacles

Okay new theory. Maybe we should play do quietly no one can hear us — Squidward Tentacles

It’s Not My Birthday!!! — Squidward Tentacles

Stop playing, in my yard — Squidward Tentacles

No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument… — Squidward Tentacles

Being dead, or anything else! — Squidward Tentacles

I hate all of you. — Squidward Tentacles

Just do me a favor and stop doing me favors! — Squidward Tentacles

Welcome to the Krusty Krab, Where the Clock of Evolution Ticks Backwards. — Squidward Tentacles

It’s Tentacles! Not tennis balls! — Squidward Tentacles

Another day, another migraine — Squidward Tentacles

Krabby Patty nothing!! — Squidward Tentacles

Wake Me Up When I Care! — Squidward Tentacles

I feel like a…i feel like a…donkey noises big jerk! — Squidward Tentacles

If I had a dollar for every brain you don’t have I’d have one dollar — Squidward Tentacles

Why must every eleven minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?! — Squidward Tentacles

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