163+ Best Funny Spongebob Quotes That Make You Think

SpongeBob SquarePants is an American animated television series created by marine biologist and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon.

SpongeBob quotes are so universal and with the situations, references, and words used, SpongeBob is one of animated series that can appeal to adults as well as children and it never gets old.

Without a doubt, characters of SpongeBob SquarePants have amazing iconic quotes that we all still use in our daily language, even when it’s ridiculous. With too many to count, here are some favorite “SpongeBob” quotes, from ones that all fans should know, to ones we use every day.

There are many others such as beautiful Peter Pan quotesfunny Beauty and the Beast quotes, and Yoda quotes on happiness continue to resonate with me not only because of the humor but also due to the life-long lessons and wisdom the characters give.

List of Spongebob SquarePants Quotes To Make You Smile

  • Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby, secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secret, secretly. – Spongebob
  • I’m ready, I’m ready. – Spongebob
  • If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true. – Spongebob
  • Everything FUN!
  • You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory. – SpongeBob
  • Firmly grasp it in your hand.
  • Look at all the hip young people eating sal-ads. – Spongebob
  • Spongebob: Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse! Patrick: Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.
  • I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors! – Spongebob
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  • It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say. – Mr. Krabs
  • Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells… smelly. – Mr. Krabs
  • -Patrick, I don’t think Wumbo is a real word.
    -Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob!
  • F is for friends who do stuff together! – Spongebob
  • No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change. – Spongebob
  • The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. – Patrick Star
  • All I know is fine dining and breathing. – Spongebob
  • You’re a man now, SpongeBob, and it’s time you started acting like one. – Patrick Star
  • I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!
  • Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli. – Spongebob
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  • You never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. – Spongebob
  • Spongebob: “What do you usually do when I’m gone? Patrick: “waiting for you to come back.”
  • Is Mayonnaise an instrument? – Patrick Star
  • With imagination, you can be anything you want. – Spongebob
  • I can’t see my forehead! – Patrick Star
  • That’s it mister! You just lost your brain privileges! – Plankton
  • Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face. – Spongebob
  • F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!
  • You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.
  • spongebob i need it
  • Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems. – Patrick Star
  • Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb. – Patrick Star
  • Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end! – Patrick Star

Underrated SpongeBob Quotes That Are Perfect For Instagram Captions

  • The best time to wear a striped sweater…is all the time. – Spongebob
  • Too bad SpongeBob is not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here. – Squidward
  • Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you. – Sandy Cheeks
  • Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy. – Plankton
  • It took three days to make that potato salad…three days!!!
  • Wake me up when I care. – Squidward
  • Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos. – Patrick Star
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  • Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions. – Spongebob
  • I’m ugly and I’m proud! – Spongebob
  • I have no soul. – Squidward
  • Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it! – Mr. Krabs
  • You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio! – Squidward
  • If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright. – Spongebob
  • Can I be excused for the rest of my life? – Spongebob
  • -Patrick, you’re a genius!
    -Yeah, I get called that a lot.
    -What? A genius?
    -No, Patrick.
  • Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.
  • It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever. – Squidward
  • Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?” Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.” Patrick:”Ho, Ho,Ho!” Spongebob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!””
  • You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you. – Plankton
  • You just CAN’T WAIT for me to die, can you?
  • Do instruments of torture count?
  • I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep! – Patrick Star
  • I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today. – Squidward
  • Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week. – Patrick Star
  • Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.
  • SpongeBob: I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…
  • But it’s my only night to be fancy! – Squidward
  • Moss always points to civilization. – SpongeBob
  • Nonsense, my vocabulary is infinitely expanding! – Patrick Star
  • Knowledge cannot replace friendship. – Patrick Star
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  • Hello, we’re with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand you have a dying animal on the premises.
  • I might as well sleep for 100 years or so. – Squidward
  • SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours! – Squidward
  • Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24… 25!
  • Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)
  • We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else! – Patrick Star
  • The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. – Spongebob
  • Mermaid Man: Now, who wants to save the world?
    Spongebob: I do!
    Patrick: I do!
    Sandy Cheeks: I do!
    Squidward: I don’t.
  • This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness. – Spongebob
  • Don’t you DARE take the name of Texas in vain. – Sandy
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  • Patrick: Is Sandy the one I call “Mom”? SpongeBob: No Patrick, that’s your mother.
  • See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral. – Pearl Krabs

The Most Hilarious SpongeBob Quotes

  • We don’t need television…not as long as we have our imagination. – SpongeBob
  • Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me. – Patrick Star
  • Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets. – SpongeBob
  • Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz. – Patrick Star
  • I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.
  • meaningful spongebob quotes
  • Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite! – Plankton
  • Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…smelly. – Mr. Krabs
  • A five letter word for happiness…money. – Mr. Krabs
  • Spongebob: “No, Gary. I like wearing my underwear like this!”
  • We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request. – Mr. Krabs
  • I’m a good noodle! – SpongeBob
  • Patrick: Are they laughing at us?
    Spongebob: No, Patrick. They’re laughing next to us.
  • Hey Patrick what am I now?
    -No! I’m Texas!
    -What’s the difference?
  • So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one. – Narrator
  • Squidward: Patrick, don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?
    Patrick: Not until 4.
  • Are you Squidward now? … That’s okay take your time.
  • Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today! – SpongeBob
  • spongebob quotes about life
  • Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off. – Spongebob
  • Three hours later. – Narrator
  • I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent. – SpongeBob
  • 2000 years later. – Narrator
  • Too bad that didn’t kill me. – Squidward
  • SpongeBob: We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. Patrick: Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!
  • Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma! – Spongebob
  • Who are you people?! – Patrick Star
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Kevin. I’m your biggest fan.
    Kevin the Sea Cucumber: That’s nice. Security!
    SpongeBob: No, no! I’ll do anything you want!
    Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Go jump off a building.
    [SpongeBob jumps off building, returns]
    SpongeBob: Anything.
    Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Punch yourself in the face.
    [SpongeBob punches himself with a boxing glove]
    Kevin the Sea Cucumber: Doesn’t that hurt?
    SpongeBob: [Puts on a metal gauntlet with spikes] Do you want it to hurt, Kevin?
  • Karen, baby, I haven’t felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife! – Plankton
  • Squidward that’s not the peace treaty, that’s a copy of the peace treaty. – SpongeBob
  • Spongebob: Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be? Patrick: Um… more time for thinking.
  • I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss. – SpongeBob
  • Spongebob: “Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird.” Patrick: “No, Spongebob, that’s Italian
  • There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, with the Help Wanted sign on the front. I’ve waited years for this moment. I’m gonna go in there, march straight up to the manager, look at him straight in the eye, lay it on the line, and – I can’t do it!
  • And tonight, after my big promotion, we’re gonna party till we’re purple. – SpongeBob
  • One hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty? – Squidward
  • His chops are too righteous. The helmets can’t handle this level of rock n’ roll! Karen, do something! – Plankton
  • After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along. – Squidward
  • Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home. – SpongeBob
  • A Triple Gooberberry Sunrise, huh? I guess I could use one of those. – SpongeBob
  • My pants are on fire!…My underwear is on fire!…I’M ON FIRE! – Mr. Krabs
  • If there’s one thing we Atlanteans enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of dark humor! – Lord Royal Highness
  • It started out as a simple order. A Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, NO CHEESE! – Mr. Krabs

Catchphrases From SpongeBob SquarePants

SpongeBob’s Catchphrases

“I’m ready!”
“Order up!”
“Aye-aye, captain!”
“Tartar sauce!”
“Fish paste!”
“Ah, shrimp.”
“No problemo.”

Patrick Star’s Catchphrases

“Good morning, Krusty Krew!”

Squidward’s Catchphrases

“Everybody’s a critic.”
“How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors?”
“Oh, puh-lease.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but…”/”I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…”
“Oh, My aching tentacles.”

Krabs’s Catchphrases

“Sweet mother of Pearl!”/”Mother of Pearl!”
“Me money!”
“Boyo!”/”Hey, boyo!”
“Come spend your money here!”
“David H. Jones!/Sweet Davey Jones!”

Plankton’s Catchphrases

“Karen, my computer wife…”/”Computer wife…”
“Karen! Help!”
“I went to college!”
“I win! I win!”
“I will destroy all of you!”
“I command…”/”order you…”
“Well, This stinks.”

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