Love is a feeling of happiness and joy. When it happens to someone, it can’t be controlled no matter how much they deny it or avoid it. There are many people in this world who have an avoidant style, but love is a kind of feeling that no one can be love avoidant. There are so many methods and techniques to make an avoidant person miss you as there is a popular saying that “You can make any man worship you”.
One should have to be very calm and patient who has fallen in love with an avoidant because these people might seem to be very hard in the beginning but when you start knowing them, you will see that these avoidant people have the same feeling we all do. Avoidant partners can also show the feeling of love however, their definition of love is slightly different. They remain slightly reserve of being afraid of distresses from their partner in a healthy relationship.
Methods and Techniques To Make An Avoidant Person Miss You:
Following are the different and proven methods to improve intimacy and closeness among the avoidant persons and make them fall in love with you.
The styles of attachment with the avoidant person
Before discussing different styles of attachment the avoidant persons have, we have to take a look at the theory of attachment.
“There are some studies about the theory of attachment, by keeping in mind these studies done by professionals it is a bond of different emotional words that lasts for a long period of time between people in a relationship that pay attentions on romantic partners as well as a relationship between a father, a mother and a child.”
The styles of attachment really affect the relationships of people. There are basically four attachment styles. Dismissive-avoidant attachment styles, anxious attachment styles, secure attachment styles, fearful-avoidant attachment styles.
- Dismissive-avoidant attachment styles: The people who have dismissive-avoidant attachment styles are low on anxiety and high on avoidance. They like to remain independent because they give priority to their own needs. Due to high on avoidance, they avoid starting a relationship and do not commit to anyone else.
- Anxious attachment styles: The people having attachment styles of anxiety are high on anxiety and compared to this low on avoidance. To be in a relationship is not a problem for people having these kinds of attachment styles but they always remain insecure about their relationship.
- Secure attachment styles: The people having these types of attachment styles are low on both anxiety and avoidance. They feel secure to be in a romantic relationship and comfortable with physical intimacy. The people who have these kinds of attachment styles are perfect for starting a healthy and romantic relationship.
- Fearful-avoidance attachment styles: These types of people are high on anxiety as well as on avoidance. These people are always in a close relationship but they remain fearful about the honesty of their partner that the person who is in a relationship is loyal or not.
After knowing these attachment styles, you will be able to identify the nature of avoidant people and feel safe to connect and establish a healthy relationship with them. In reaction to this step of yours, the avoidant person will feel secure and become more open to contact with you.
Maintain a distance and do not go after him/her
The people who have an avoidant nature like to remain independent and always think about themselves. Therefore going after an avoidant person will not help you. As they like to remain alone for some time after a breakup so you should maintain a distance from him/her.
Whenever you chase him/her and want to take your relationship to next level, they start avoiding you and use their distancing strategies. So chasing your partner is not a thing you have to do. The only option is to remain calm and patient and try to talk with your partner about it. Realize your partner that his/her behavior will hurt you and ultimately will hurt your relationship. Be patient and do not rush or try to crush love from your avoidant partner by making needless demands. The important thing you have to do is to convince your partner to take a few couples therapy sessions and the most important thing is that you have to make sure your partner realizes that you will always be there for him/her to help. This will help you and your relationship. And if he/she wants some space give him/her space do not suffocate your partner.
From this type of your behavior, your partner will miss you and also be able to open up to you and starts to talk with you.
Do not complain about anything
If you really want to make an avoidant person miss you, the first thing you should do is to stop complaining to your partner about anything and share your sincere desires. From this step, your partner will open up to you and start communicating with you.
Let’s take an example, you can say to your avoidant partner that “I respect your privacy and don’t want to rush to you but I love to be with you and spend quality time with you and it will make me so happy if you spend more time with me and do something fun as you are always busy with yourself and your work”. This will give a soft and soothing impression to your avoidant partner and make him/her miss you.
Do prepare yourself when you go out with your partner
When you go out to see your avoidant partner, a natural look is not enough. Fully prepare yourself and when the avoidant person sees you he/she will realize that what he/she is missing out on.
We all know that it’s human nature that he attracts to beautiful things so go-to salon, get a new haircut, get a complete makeover, and wear a nice beautiful dress that takes the attention of your avoidant partner. In this way, you will be more attractive and gorgeous in the eyes of the avoidant person then he starts missing you and wants to spend more time with you. From this type of your behavior, your partner will miss you and also be able to open up to you and starts to talk with you.
Adopt a positive body language
Adopt a positive attitude and let your body speaks for you. As it can be used as a weapon in making an avoidant person miss you. Also, you will get an advantage over the avoidant person as his/her’s body language is not so great. You can give many signs through your body language that you are so happy and enjoying your life more than ever. Try to remain calm and relaxed and don’t make any gestures as it will only show your nervousness.
When you date an avoidant person, you have to understand that he is afraid of commitment and also has a fear of intimacy. Therefore, don’t rush to him and slowly take your relationship to next level. You can talk with him and ask him to change the things that are hurting you. All this can be done through positive body language and make an avoidant person miss you. From this type of your behavior, your partner will miss you and also be able to open up to you and starts to talk with you.
Learn how can you soothe your avoidant partner
Love is a feeling that starts from within and starting a conversation with blame, anger, and criticism will hurt the feelings of your partner. So take some practices like meditation, creative activities, physical activities, and journaling that will promote love and soothe your partner.
As we all know that it is not so easy to love an avoidant person so you have to be so patient and try to do things that will soothe your partner and make him realize that you are always here for him to help. In this way, you will be able to establish a good relationship and make an avoidant miss you.
Take a few professional counseling sessions
Taking a few couple counseling sessions would be as helpful as the professionals can help an avoidant person miss you. Due to the avoiding nature of your partner maybe he is not ready to take coaching sessions but you can still take the sessions and take benefits from the professionals. And after taking proper counseling, you can apply it to your partner to improve your romantic relationship make an avoidant person miss you.
Patience is your weapon
If you really want to make an avoidant person miss you, patience must be your weapon. So if you have to wait several hours for a reply then you have to be very patient and wait for the reply. Do not rush to your partner as he thinks that you are interfering so much that will worsen the relationship.
If your avoidant partner doesn’t reply you go out and do something fun don’t wait for him to reply. Make him/her realize that you can live without him/her. You have to understand that it is not an easy job to establish a good relationship with an avoidant partner and make him miss you all the time. Then we have to deal with the results alone. From this, your partner will miss you and also be able to open up to you and starts to talk with you.
Maintain a specific space with your partner
Having space is the most crucial thing in a relationship. And in the case of an avoidant person, it is the most important aspect. In a relationship there comes a stage where both the partners want some space to think about the problems going around so we have to give respect to their decision to be alone for some time. It is very important to settle things out and make a healthy relationship. In this way, your avoidant partner will see you as a reasonable person. When the time passes, your partner will start to miss you and soon will be able to talk about his problems then you will be able to solve the things that are for your relationship.
Be realistic and remain out of the fantasy world
So when you are in love with an avoidant person, go for a realistic approach and maintain a distance from the fantasy world to have your own mind-set to work out and ask a question to yourself that do you have realistic fantasies for your partner?. And this only leads to anxiety, stress, and depression in the mind.
To be realistic in your life, you have to follow the authentic needs of your relationship. By following the needs that are authentic for yourself and for your relationship, will give your avoidant partner some space to think about the relationship and the problems in it. Patience is the key thing to be true and realistic in a romantic relation.
If you want to know that an avoidant person misses you, you have to know that due to his/her internal feelings, he/she will hide his/her feelings from you but you kept one thing in your mind that he/she misses you but shows nothing. Therefore, he/she rarely shows any signs that he/she misses you. Avoidant persons can also fall in love with you however, their definition of love is slightly different. They remain slightly conserve of being afraid of disappointments from their partner in a relationship. Therefore, they usually remain in themselves and put themselves first in any relationship.
The important aspect that we have learned in this whole article is that “Patience”. Be patient and do not rush or try to crush love from your avoidant partner by making needless demands. It will more worsen your relationship. Talk openly about love and problems in the relationship, give enough space, set limitations while communicating with your partner, and be honest with your avoidant partner as he feels safe with you.
1 thought on “How to Make an Avoidant Miss You: 10 Essential Techniques”
Okay, how do you make sure they actually pull their own weight in the relationship then?
I was with a DA for almost 6 years. We were never “We” to him. Engaged only bc I was sick of being just his girlfriend who had his baby. I want a real marriage and he told me he didn’t years into our relationship but still expected me to be okay with living out our lives together. Wtf? What I really mean is if you need to be super patient with them aren’t they just going to get away with doing and less in the relationship? Bc that’s what happened to me. I was patient, loyal, defended him when people asked why I was with him. Made tons of excuses & believed his excuses. This guy wanted so badly to not live with his gf & child that he now rents an apt half a block away. And now he’s nice to me & like the same relationship he just lives down the street. That’s how much he wanted to get out of upholding his side of the relationship. Isn’t it true that we shouldn’t be settling for less since the partner will then expect & get comfortable doing less? Bc I feel like I did most of our relationship. I STILL have to
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