William Melvin Hicks was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist and musician. His material—encompassing a wide range of social issues including religion, politics, and philosophy—was controversial and often steeped in dark comedy. Profoundly inspirational Bill Hicks quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.
If you’re searching for famous comedy quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes from Bill Maher, powerful Bo Burnham quotes and famous Dave Chappelle quotes.
Famous Bill Hicks Quotes
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious. Bill Hicks
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the Weather. Bill Hicks
Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you. Bill Hicks
This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart. Bill Hicks
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. Bill Hicks
If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind. Bill Hicks
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light. Bill Hicks
If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in. Bill Hicks
The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T shirts, eat rice and beans. Bill Hicks
Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive. Bill Hicks
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. Bill Hicks
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it’s very brightly coloured and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, Hey, don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride. And we kill those people. Bill Hicks
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic. Bill Hicks
No one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery. Bill Hicks
As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. Bill Hicks
Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride. Bill Hicks
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas. Bill Hicks
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey there’s one guy holding up both! Bill Hicks
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. Bill Hicks
I am a misanthropic humanist. Do I like people? They’re great, ın theory. Bill Hicks
And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else’s, I’m happy to do it. Bill Hicks
I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas. Bill Hicks
There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks
You know all the money we spend on nuclear weapons and defence every year? Trillions of dollars? Correct? Trillions. Instead, if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world,which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, not one, we could, as one race, explore outer space together in peace forever. Bill Hicks
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children. Bill Hicks
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint it has to do with creating and sharing. Bill Hicks
If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them. Bill Hicks
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self created hell you’ll find in this world. Bill Hicks
If you’re so pro life, do me a favour don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro life, lock arms and block cemeteries. Bill Hicks
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy. Bill Hicks
If you’re so pro life, do me a favour don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro life, lock arms and block cemeteries. Bill Hicks
Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to. Bill Hicks
It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party. Bill Hicks
I don’t do drugs anymore than, say, the average touring funk band. Bill Hicks
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps sit ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day? Bill Hicks
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. Bill Hicks
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet. Bill Hicks
I’m not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now. Bill Hicks
It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay? Bill Hicks
Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows. Bill Hicks
All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make em real. Bill Hicks
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit. Bill Hicks
The role of the comedian is to say Wait a minute when a consensus starts to form. Bill Hicks
Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. Bill Hicks
Laughter makes the bitter swallowing of truth, for some, a little easier. Bill Hicks
We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution. Bill Hicks
All governments are lying cocksuckers. Bill Hicks
I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out. Bill Hicks
I don’t care if you’re obscene, filthy, horrendous as long as you’re honest. Bill Hicks
I hate patriotism. I can’t stand it. It’s a round world last time I checked. Bill Hicks
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor? Bill Hicks
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally. Bill Hicks
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. Bill Hicks
I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life. Bill Hicks
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. Bill Hicks
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day. Bill Hicks
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. Bill Hicks
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me. Bill Hicks
The waitress comes over to me like, What’chu readin for? I had never been asked that. Not What am I reading? but What am I reading for? Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don’t end up being a waffle waitress. Bill Hicks
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side. Bill Hicks
It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it. Bill Hicks
Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining. Bill Hicks
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night. Bill Hicks
I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true. Bill Hicks
That’s starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama. Bill Hicks
I loved when Bush came out and said, We are losing the war against drugs. You know what that implies? There’s a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it. Bill Hicks
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Bill Hicks
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. Bill Hicks
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. Bill Hicks
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic. Bill Hicks
I think it’s interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice sentiment, but do you think when Jesus comes back, he’s really going to want to look at a cross? Bill Hicks
Not all drugs are good Some of them are great. Bill Hicks
Christianity has a built in defense system anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It’s a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, Show me. Bill Hicks
We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. Bill Hicks
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us to gently lead us out of our own self created hells. Bill Hicks
Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. Bill Hicks
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, This is my creation, perfect in every way oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to create Republicans. Bill Hicks
I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. Bill Hicks
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side. Bill Hicks
This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. Bill Hicks
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side. Bill Hicks
The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. Bill Hicks
Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god’s infinite love. Bill Hicks
It is, and has been, and will forever be, this world of ours, a fucking joke. Bill Hicks
