In theory, basketball is a team sport in which two teams, most commonly of five players each, opposing one another on a rectangular court, compete with the primary objective of shooting a basketball through the defender’s hoop while preventing the opposing team from shooting through their own hoop. But in reality, basketball is more than just a team sport, it is a lifestyle for many. Inspirational funny basketball quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.
If you’re searching for amusing quotes and best sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny beer quotes, hilarious breakup quotes and funniest car quotes.
Famous Funny Basketball Quotes
I haven’t been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either. – Dave Barry
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? – Woody Allen
I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA. – Shaquille O’Neal
Basketball doesn’t build character. It reveals it. – James Naismith
I never thought I’d lead the NBA in rebounding, but I got a lot of help from my team-mates – they did a lot of missing. – Moses Malone
Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer. – Shaquille O’Neal
I can’t coach, but it’s okay, it’s my players fault, they’re just not producing. I can’t get on the court for them, they have to get it done, there’s nothing that I can do for them. Coaching is done in practice. Plays just don’t matter when it comes to game time if your players cannot complete them and I cannot draw them up. Why should a team trust in me when I cannot coach? – John Swickrath
There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket. – Abe Lemmons
All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine. – Charles Barkley
I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball. – Charles Barkley
We’re losing games but our basketball has not been bad basketball it’s been ‘not good enough to win’ basketball. – George Karl
The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not. – Charles Barkley
This is basketball, not figure skating. You don’t get extra points for degree of difficulty. – Bob Hurley
Yeah, Ernie, its called defense, I mean I wouldn’t know anything about it personally but I’ve heard about it through the grapevine. – Charles Barkley
You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I’m the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right. – Charles Barkley
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds. – Wilt Chamberlain
Basketball is like photography, if you don’t focus, all you have is the negative. – Dan Frisby
A tough day at the office is even tougher when your office contains spectator seating. – Nik Posa
Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names. – Charles Barkley
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? – Woody Allen
Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they’re afraid they might get hit by a pass. – George Raveling
If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming. – Charles Barkley
Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. – Ogden Nash
If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. – Phil Jackson
Shooting is just like toenails. They may fall off occasionally, but you know they’ll always come back. – Charles Johnson
When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do. – Darryl Dawkins
Winning is like deodorant – it comes up and a lot of things don’t stink. – Doc Rivers
The invention of basketball was not an accident.It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play “Drop the Handkerchief. – James Naismith
These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it. – Charles Barkley
I’m not against taking shots, but I am against taking bad shots. – Hank Iba
You don’t play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. – Bobby Knight
Winning is overrated. The only time it is really important is in surgery and war. – Al McGuire
Don’t call me son unless you’re going to include me in your will. – Al McGuire
A team should be an extension of a coach’s personality. My teams are arrogant and obnoxious. – Al McGuire
Most Hilarious Basketball Quotes
The invention of basketball was not an accident. It was developed to meet a need. Those boys simply would not play. Drop the Handkerchief. – James Naismith
I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA. – Shaquille O’Neal
There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket. – Abe Lemons
We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors. – Weldon Drew
The only mystery in life is why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. – Al McGuire
Our guys took Shop and Advanced Shop. Shop is when you make a chair. Advanced Shop is when you paint it. – Al McGuire
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated. – Al McGuire
If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good. – Al McGuire
This [basketball] is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn’t have spectators. – Dick Vertleib
If you make every game a life and death proposition, you’re going to have problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot. – Dean Smith
Basketball is not an equal opportunity game. If you can’t shoot it well, you don’t get to shoot. – Bob Hurley
They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds. – Wilt Chamberlain
When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. – George Raveling
I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a – 500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class. – George Raveling
I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air. – Norm Sloan
Any time Detroit scores more than a hundred points and holds the other team below a hundred points, they almost always win. – Doug Collins
Short Funny Basketball Quotes
The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. – Jerry Tarkanian
Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. – Bill Vaughn
You don’t play against opponents, you play against the game of basketball. – Bobby Knight
You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can’t talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle. – Abe Lemmons
We’re shooting – 00 percent – 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line. – Norm Stewart
The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. – Jerry Tarkanian
This year we plan to run and shoot. Next season we hope to run and score. – Billy Tubbs
I liked the choreography, but I didn’t care for the costumes. – Tommy Tune
The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. – Jerry Tarkanian
Believe that the loose ball that you are chasing has your name wirtten on it. – Mike Krzyzewski
We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors. – Weldon Drew
Not only is there more to life than basketball, there’s a lot more to basketball than basketball. – Phil Jackson
Funny Basketball Quotes for Instagram
Dribble, Shoot, Rebound, Score
Some wish for it. We work for it.
Basketball is a full court game, so every drill must be done a full court
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Tricks, dribble, ankle-break, good smile – basketball is life
Defend, destroy, and dominate.
Put down your phone m pick up your basketball
Hustle and heart set us apart.
It is far better to shoot an airball than to not shoot at all for fear of missing
My game is sick. Too bad it ain’t contagious.
Every time, I rise up, I have confidence that I’m going to make it
All things are difficult before they are easy.
It’s okay if you don’t like basketball, it’s kind of smart people sports anyway
Actions speak louder than your coaches.
Reach for the sky, or don’t even try.
Forget about it princess cause not even Cinderella is getting to this ball
Sorry, you have to guard me; I hope you taped your ankles.
Being in love with basketball so much, that you have a playlist just for basketball
If at first, you don’t succeed, it’s because of me.
The idea is not to block every shot, the idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot
Offense sells tickets. Defense wins championships.
Forget about it, princess. Not even Cinderella is getting to this ball.
The harder you work, the harder it is to lose.
All I need is a basketball and a hoop and I will be set for life
