Karl Pilkington is an English television presenter, author, comedian, radio producer, actor and voice actor. Profoundly inspirational Karl Pilkington quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.
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Famous Karl Pilkington Quotes
I’ve been on the planet for 40 years now, and I’m still none the wiser as to what it’s all about really. I’ve never worried about life’s big questions. People at my age sit about pondering about ‘why are we here?’ The only time I ever asked meself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote. Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn’t know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. Karl Pilkington
There is someone for everyone, i’nt there. That’s always my thing. And it’s reassuring I think. Karl Pilkington
They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It’s nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it’s because there’s too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science. Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched University Challenge. The onion was probably the highlight. Karl Pilkington
I always have a problem liking things that I’m told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the Great Wall of China annoys me. I’ll decide if it’s great or not. It might end up being the All Right Wall of China to me. Karl Pilkington
A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised. Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. I’d seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him. Karl Pilkington
Why didn’t evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder? Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff. Karl Pilkington
I’m a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn’t as bad as I thought I would be, then I’ll be happy. Until then, I’ll be thinking, I shouldn’t be here! Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I’m getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, cos if I’m not, I have no idea who I’m paying for. Karl Pilkington
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive. Karl Pilkington
The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can’t relate to it. I think most people got into cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn’t required as much. Karl Pilkington
It’s easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you’ve got nowt to lose. Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn’t have any tattoos but we never saw his wife. Karl Pilkington
I never buy a piece of art. I don’t see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually. Karl Pilkington
I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go ‘Even though I’ve been enjoying it, I’ve had enough. Give us another book. Karl Pilkington
A problem solved is a problem caused. Karl Pilkington
It’s interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up. Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff. Karl Pilkington
he gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected? Karl Pilkington
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle. Karl Pilkington
Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. Karl Pilkington
They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It’s nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it’s because there’s too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science. Karl Pilkington
I really can’t believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn’t know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. Karl Pilkington
I always have a problem liking things I’m told I should like. Karl Pilkington
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle. Karl Pilkington
There was some women in a café the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin loudly goin on about oh the baby’s lovely. They said it’s got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn’t sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin it sounds like a frog. But I thought I don’t know her, there’s only so much you can say to a stranger. I don’t know what kept me from sayin it. Karl Pilkington
It’s like there’s some unwritten rule that if you’re mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don’t really get that annoyed about it. Karl Pilkington
You never see an old man eating a Twix. Karl Pilkington
Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. Karl Pilkington
The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my gut feeling, some say go with what your heart says it’s only a matter of time before my appendix will have an opinion. This is probably why there are so many helplines these days. No one knows who to bloody listen to! Karl Pilkington
It wouldn’t happen. There hasn’t been one publication by a monkey. Karl Pilkington
I could eat a knob at night. Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don’t know if I’m in charge of mine. Karl Pilkington
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo. Karl Pilkington
It’s like the panda, they say that’s dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they’re just sitting in the jungle eating. Karl Pilkington
I told her that I can’t be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake. I’ve never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that’s how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn’t think about visiting. Karl Pilkington
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever get to a point where all this is too heavy for the world to handle? Karl Pilkington
I sometimes wear headphones even though I’m not listening to anything just so I’m left alone. It’s the next best thing to wearing a Do Not Disturb sign. Karl Pilkington
I’d rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave. Karl Pilkington
A dog has got human eyes. Karl Pilkington
I’ve always wanted to kick a duck up the arşe. Karl Pilkington
This is the problem with over crowded inner city schools there aren’t enough parts for everyone in the nativity story. Karl Pilkington
I always have a problem liking things that I’m told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the Great Wall of China annoys me. I’ll decide if it’s great or not. It might end up being the All Right Wall of China to me. Karl Pilkington
