WAIT. Aren’t both of them the same thing?
If you are new to the feeling of love, this might be confusing for you. And yes, being in love and loving someone are two different things. It is a bit complicated to tell the difference between loving someone and being in love but if you have felt that passion and fire in you once, you can easily decipher the difference.
Love is a beautiful feeling. It is one of the deepest human emotions that an individual can feel, and it has the power to move one to the core of their hearts. It can either fill your life in blossoms or it can be the autumn that nobody wants in their life. Everything depends on one’s personal experience. However, despite the fact that you might have felt this emotion many times, it is okay to be confused about the difference between loving someone and being in love.
Hundreds of questions cross one’s mind when speculating about this. For instance, can you love someone and not be in love? Is it possible? Is there really a difference between “I love you” and “I am in love with you”? The confusion is justified, and we help you in clearing the airs for you. In this piece of article, we will be sharing the brutally honest difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
Differences between loving someone and being in love
It is common to believe that these both are the same concepts. The passion of love might be same in both the cases but what really differs is the “intention”. For example, while loving someone is about how they make you feel, being in love is about how you make them feel.
You are definitely going to get the butterflies in both the scenarios, and it might feel very passionate too. But what makes the two different and one of them more long-lasting is important to recognize. Thus, we have summed up the differences between loving someone and being in love, for all you lovers out there.
Let’s find out what makes them different!
- Being in love is forever but loving someone is a fleeting emotion
This might sound weird but love, just like any other emotion, can end whenever. Your partner might be do something wrong or he/she just seems too annoying since a while now and BOOM, your love for them disappears. This happens when you love someone; the emotion can fleet away and find shelter in any other person who isn’t that annoying for you.
On the contrary, being in love is forever. Being in love never fleets away, no matter how many arguments or absurd moments come between you two. It fights through the blues to meet the highs and even when the honeymoon period seems to be over, the love remains. It begins to get comfortable, instead of getting “boring.” There is no urge of constant thrill in your life as the presence of your partner is sufficing for you. The emotion of love or the warmth that you feel with them, never fades away.
- Being in love comes naturally and loving someone is a choice:
An individual can choose the person they want to love. Many people make rational choices when it comes to choosing someone they love. They might evaluate their morals, work ethics and personality before deciding to be with them. This is thoughtful decision making and is a choice. Thus, you love them, but you are not in love with them. If things do not work as you had expected with them, you can easily choose to walk away. The absence might trigger you a bit for some days but then you will go about your life normally.
This is not the case when someone is in love. Being in love is not a rational, decision making. It just happens! As cliche as might sound, one does not get to choose whom they want to be in love with. It can happen with anyone, at any time and you wouldn’t get time to judge or evaluate their personality. Moreover, walking away from them is not easy and maybe, you are never able to walk away form them. Even if you do, you suffer. You are unable to move on and get along with life as you used to earlier. The feeling never fades away.
- Being in love brings in balance while loving someone always requires them to be there:
Remember the teenage love? All you ever wanted from your partner was to be there for you, either physically or through texts and calls. It isn’t really bad to always want someone around you but it isn’t the key to a long lasting relationship either. When you love someone, you enjoy their presence and somehow, all you want them to do is to be around you 24/7. You cannot share them with anyone, and it starts getting boring and dull after a few months.
On the other hand, when you are in love, you understand each other’s needs and respect the fact that a balance must be maintained. When you are in love with someone, you want them to be happy, even if they want to do things without you. It is about understanding that a person cannot always be with you and as long as you two are in love, doing things individually would tear you apart. Being in love doesn’t demand bodily presence all the time because at the end of the day, you know that they are your home, and their cuddle will make up for the time apart.
- Being in love is a partnership but loving someone brings in ownership:
When you love someone, you get selfish. We all have been in relationships, where our partners made us feel like we are labelled as theirs. They need constant reassurance that you are theirs and there is always a bit of insecurity involved. This constant reminder of owning a person is all about loving someone but not being in love.
When you are in love, the label doesn’t matter. You don’t want the world to know that they are your girlfriend or boyfriend. Both of you know that you are in love with each other and you acknowledge your feelings too. You don’t want a constant reminder of the fact that you both are in love and you respect each other’s feelings. You know that you both have each other’s back and that is enough. Trust plays a huge role in this as well.
- Being in love is a seamless flow of emotions while loving someone is a rush:
Loving someone can be passionate and all fire, until it hits the low. It can have the highest highs but the low can be the lowest of all. It is a rush which cannot withstand the bad times and rushes away as soon as the bad times come by. It will make you feel like you are constantly crashing down and burning inside instead of being at peace somewhere.
On the contrary, being in love is about various emotions, flowing smoothly. This doesn’t mean that bad times wouldn’t ever cross you. They definitely will. However, you two will be able to overcome the lowest lows as well and reach back to the highs. The intensity of the ups and downs would be able to pull down your relationship and happiness will always emerge around the corner. Being in love is steady and it wouldn’t want to make you want to run away ever. It will always be this one person, no matter what the hardships.
Can a relationship last without love?
Now that you understand the differences between loving someone and being in love, you might be evaluating all those relationships that you wanted to last forever. And maybe, you now realize, that you did love them, but you weren’t “in love”.
So yes, you can be in a relationship without being in love. Many of us have been there and many of us are there, right now. The rational thought process of choosing someone to love is never the long-lasting emotion. It will fleet away. Many couples stay together even when the love has faded away, assuming that this happens to every couple. No, it does not. It simply happens when you love someone, but you are not in love with someone.
Once you realize the difference between being in love and loving someone, you will be able to decide what you need to do with your life. And whether that partner is worth it or not. Never stay in a relationship where you are not in love or your partner is not in love with you. You can love anyone; your best friend, your neighbor and even the nanny that took care of you since you were 8 years old. But being in love, in a completely different feeling. It is out of this world and it never fleets away with hardships or the lows. It will always rise again, no matter what.
We pray that you all get to be in love and not just choose to love someone for the rest of your lives.