38+ Best Funny Political Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Politics is the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in groups, or other forms of power relations between individuals, such as the distribution of resources or status. Inspirational funny political quotes will challenge the way you think, change the way you live and transform your whole life.

If you’re searching for amusing quotes and funniest movie quotes one liners that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny real estate quotes, hilarious retirement quotes and funniest relationship quotes.

Famous Funny Political Quotes

My choice early in life was between whether to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference. – Harry S. Truman

Abraham Lincoln, on the accusation that he was two-faced: If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. – Edward Langley, Artist

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen. – Winston Churchill

Politics is the only art whose artists regularly disown their masterpieces. – Raheel Farooq

funny political quotes

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day. – Molly Ivins

All politics is loco. – Howard Ogden

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. – Art Buchwald

Take a good look at me, because you’ll never recognize me once my opponent gets done with me. – Leonard Boswell

Every politician has a promising career. Unfortunately, most of them do not keep those promises. – Jarod Kintz

Politics, noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. – Ambrose Bierce

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. – Simon Cameron

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. – Dave Barry

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. – Charles de Gaulle

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled. – Mark Twain

Politics is war without bloodshed, while war is politics with bloodshed. – Mao Tse-Tung

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. – José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

funniest political quotes

In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. – Napoleon Bonaparte

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. – Doug Larson

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other. – Oscar Ameringer

Now I know what a statesman is; he’s a dead politician. We need more statesmen. – Bob Edwards

Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters. – David Mitchell

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. – Nikita Khrushchev

The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller, and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then get elected and prove it. – P.J. O’Rourke

There are two things that are important in politics. The first is money, and I can’t remember the second. – Mark Hanna

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. – Groucho Marx

hilarious political quotes

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. – Plato

State legislators are merely politicians whose darkest secret prevents them from running for higher office. – Dennis Miller

98 percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working Americans. It’s the other lousy 2 percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. – Lily Tomlin

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. – Henry Cate VII

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. – Will Rogers

How come all those righteous politicians who claim to be following the Big Guy Upstairs end up getting caught following the little guy downstairs? – Steve Bhaerman

Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening. – Bill Clinton

extremely funny political quotes

In politics it is necessary either to betray one’s country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. – Charles de Gaulle

A politician is a person with whose politics you don’t agree. If you agree with him, he is a statesman. – David Lloyd George

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