35+ Best Funny Anniversary Quotes: Exclusive Selection

An anniversary is the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year, and may also refer to the commemoration or celebration of that event. Inspirational funny anniversary quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

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Famous Funny Anniversary Quotes

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. – Woody Allen

A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. – Unknown

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman – Unknown

For Marriage to Be a Success, Every Woman and Every Man Should Have Her and His Own Bathroom. The End. – Catherine Zeta-Jones

If two people love each other, nothing is impossible. Except deciding where to eat. – Unknown

When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage. – Katharine Hepburn

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

funny anniversary quotes

Marriage is just texting each other – “do we need anything from the grocery store?” – until one of you dies. – Unknown

Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to. – Unknown

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita Rudner

Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That’s What You’re Looking for, Go Live with A Car Battery. – Erma Bombeck

An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. – Helen Rowland

Unless you want to forget your marriage, it’s a good idea to remember your anniversary. – Melanie White

Drug stores understand life. That’s why the Anniversary cards and Sympathy cards are right next to each other. – Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. – Henry Youngman

Marriage is the perfection of what love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong – admit it.

Whenever you’re right – shut up. – Unknown

Marriage: when dating goes too far. – Unknown

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. – Jean Kerr

Congratulations! Cheer’s to another year of suffering and misery. – Unknown

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late. – Unknown

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. – Elizabeth Evans

The four most important words in any marriage: I’ll do the dishes. – Unknown

Marriage is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. – Unknown

Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurrasic Park. – Unknown

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlists. – James Garner

Looking back through the years, I must have been so in love with you, Imagine, I stick with you for years. Congratulation to me. – Unknown

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener – Unknown

If We Take Matrimony at Its Lowest, We Regard It as A Sort of Friendship Recognized by The Police. – Robert Louis Stevenson

I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late. – Unknown

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