56+ Best Funny Breakup Quotes: Exclusive Selection

A relationship breakup, or simply just breakup, is the termination of an intimate relationship by any means other than death. Inspirational funny breakup quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes ever and funniest motivational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny car quotes, hilarious cat quotes and funniest celebrity quotes.

Famous Funny Breakup Quotes

I got through to a stupid person today!

Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the one person who you thought would never hurt you. Gugu Mofokeng

Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest.

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Don’t let someone who isn’t worth your love make you forget how much you are worth.

You mean more to me than life itself  but I’m suicidal.

You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed? Nikita Gill

Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up. I win.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because he is finally someone else’s problem.

It’s not you, it’s me finally realizing you’re terrible for me.

The people that are quick to walk away are the ones that never intended to stay.

When you start fantasizing about his funeral, you know it’s over.

We need to take our relationship to the previous level.

I break up very well. I am a good breaker upper. Simon Cowell

It’s better to be single with a standard than losing yourself for approval.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. Alvy Singer, Annie Hall

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness clearly never paid for a divorce!

The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends. Gwyneth Paltrow

There’s something I’ve been wanting to say since the day we met goodbye.

If someone can walk away from you, let them walk.

Congratulations on your break up! Nobody could stand that bastard in any way.

Not all storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path. Paulo Coelho

Every time I look at you, I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. Oscar Levant

Sometimes, I don’t know what haunts me more. The memories of you or the happy person I used to be. Ranata Suzuki

I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost as if you’re here! Billy Ray Cyrus

You don’t die from a broken heart. You only wish you did.

Our break up was due to religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn’t.

Your ex asking you to be friends after break up is like kidnappers asking you to keep in touch after letting you go.

Oh you’re dating my ex? Cool, I’m eating a sandwich want those leftovers too?

I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.

Next guy that breaks my heart is getting pepper sprayed, look now we both crying.

She’s gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen. Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything

The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends. Gwyneth Paltrow

Our relationship is like my financial status broke.

This just isn’t for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people  I’m single.

Of all my mistakes, you were the mistakiest.

Hate is such a luxurious emotion, it can only be spent on one we love. Bobby Dukoff

I made up a new dance. It’s called the Move on with Your Life. Sky Corrigan, Superstar

The best revenge against a woman who steals your man from you is to let her keep him.

I need you to cancel my subscription because I’m done with your issues.

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because that asshole is finally someone else’s problem.

I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye. Alice Ayres, Closer

You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.

I may have cried when you left me, but I definitely laughed when I saw who you left me for.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else. Mae West

Do you know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to. Rita Rudner

They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.

I used to think you took my breath away, but then I realized I was just suffocated by your bullshit.

Our breakup was due to religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn’t.

When your ex says, You’ll never find anyone like me again. Tell him, That’s the point, you idiot.

I have neither the time, nor the crayons, to explain this to you.